These are some lessons I learned in the past 4 months.
Some of you will remember will my story (in short affaire with 13 year older woman, dumped me for new toyboy etc etc, was devastated because of it).
I worked with this woman at the same place and when we were over I kept working there (she eventually quit but kept meeting with her new toyboy there). After three months I couldn't take it anymore, my bosses kept talking to the customers about her (why she quit, what was going on,...). I tried to get over it but this wasn't helping. In the end I just started working some place else (without notifying my bosses), I tried to work at my old place at the days I knew she and her new toyboy wouldn't be around. I told my bosses I started working somewhere else because of others reasons, but of course they weren't happy with me. This is not like me, I would never do this, besides of this reason. Last week I told them the truth.
I'm still not completely over it, but I'm glad it's much better.
But for the lessons:
1. Listen to your mom.
This may sound weird, but I started working at this new place where my mom also is working. When I told her she advised me not to because of working conditions and talking about my back etc. I did not listen and in the end she's right. It's horrible working there and my new boss even calls my mom because I'm not able to make it too work (pathetic boss indeed). I'm actually terrified of my boss firing my mom because I just told them I'm going to quit and he's going to work it out on her.
Thus never involve your mom in any way and listen to her.
2. Do not do anything that is influenced because of a woman you're attracted to or were.
I started working at this new place because I couldn't take the conversations about my ex, I 'had' to get away. Looking back this was stupid, yes it's emotionally hard to always here about her and still see her, but you will get over it and you will come out stronger. I took advice of some people of leaving my work because otherwise you can't heal, but this is BS. Yes it taked longer, but you should NEVER do this (what you really should NEVER do is starting something with a colleague in the first place, but never quit that job if it goes wrong).
My bosses understand me, but it will never be the way it was and that's sad because it's a great working environment and they're great bosses. I will never blame them if they fire me for some reason, it's my own fault.
3. A woman doesn't make you happier.
In the beginning she does, but this wears of quickly. You have to cultivate the right mindset and I'm still looking how to achieve this. When we broke up of course I was devastated, but I can tell know I have days were I feel the same as when we were together.
4. Learn from every situation
I learned from everything above, but also from working someplace else. It's still difficult for me to say no, but today I just told them I quit, I would have never done this a couple of years ago, I stand up for myself more and more. I would have stood up more if it wasn't for my mom working there as well, sometimes you have to think about things you do affecting your loved ones as well, which I didn't do when I started working there...
Some of you will remember will my story (in short affaire with 13 year older woman, dumped me for new toyboy etc etc, was devastated because of it).
I worked with this woman at the same place and when we were over I kept working there (she eventually quit but kept meeting with her new toyboy there). After three months I couldn't take it anymore, my bosses kept talking to the customers about her (why she quit, what was going on,...). I tried to get over it but this wasn't helping. In the end I just started working some place else (without notifying my bosses), I tried to work at my old place at the days I knew she and her new toyboy wouldn't be around. I told my bosses I started working somewhere else because of others reasons, but of course they weren't happy with me. This is not like me, I would never do this, besides of this reason. Last week I told them the truth.
I'm still not completely over it, but I'm glad it's much better.
But for the lessons:
1. Listen to your mom.
This may sound weird, but I started working at this new place where my mom also is working. When I told her she advised me not to because of working conditions and talking about my back etc. I did not listen and in the end she's right. It's horrible working there and my new boss even calls my mom because I'm not able to make it too work (pathetic boss indeed). I'm actually terrified of my boss firing my mom because I just told them I'm going to quit and he's going to work it out on her.
Thus never involve your mom in any way and listen to her.
2. Do not do anything that is influenced because of a woman you're attracted to or were.
I started working at this new place because I couldn't take the conversations about my ex, I 'had' to get away. Looking back this was stupid, yes it's emotionally hard to always here about her and still see her, but you will get over it and you will come out stronger. I took advice of some people of leaving my work because otherwise you can't heal, but this is BS. Yes it taked longer, but you should NEVER do this (what you really should NEVER do is starting something with a colleague in the first place, but never quit that job if it goes wrong).
My bosses understand me, but it will never be the way it was and that's sad because it's a great working environment and they're great bosses. I will never blame them if they fire me for some reason, it's my own fault.
3. A woman doesn't make you happier.
In the beginning she does, but this wears of quickly. You have to cultivate the right mindset and I'm still looking how to achieve this. When we broke up of course I was devastated, but I can tell know I have days were I feel the same as when we were together.
4. Learn from every situation
I learned from everything above, but also from working someplace else. It's still difficult for me to say no, but today I just told them I quit, I would have never done this a couple of years ago, I stand up for myself more and more. I would have stood up more if it wasn't for my mom working there as well, sometimes you have to think about things you do affecting your loved ones as well, which I didn't do when I started working there...
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