Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,196
- Reaction score
- 204
Hi guys!
I'm Harry Wilmington, former AFC turned girl-getter. I used to be on these boards under a different name a few years ago when I was going through my transition from being bad with women to someone who can bag them regularly.
There are constantly newcomers showing up on these boards, many of whom are in the AFC (average frustrated chump) phase and are looking to improve themselves with women. However, it can take many months and/or years before one makes progress.
Part of the reason for this? If you're an AFC, it means you have many, MANY bad habits you have to get rid of and replace with new habits. And, like any new habit, it can take a while for a new habit to feel comfortable and like a natural part of your game.
My goal on this site, with my various insights, is simply to present new habits for AFCs to consider adding to their repertoire, so that they can increase their chances of scoring with women and moving away from the AFC lifestyle.
With that said, today's tidbit is one an AFC can use to not appear so desperate for a woman's attention when she contacts you. I call it...
"THE 20-MINUTE RULE"
If you're talking to a new girl and you're both hitting it off well, at some point you're going to exchange numbers with her. As the guy, you're supposed to be the one to call her and set up a date; however, if she really likes you she may try to call and/or text you for any number of reasons (just to say hi, seeing what you're up to, wanting to know if you're thinking about her, etc.)
When this happens, an AFC - not used to having a girl actually hit HIM up first - will automatically pick up the phone and respond to her any time she contacts him. In his mind, she MUST be hella interested in him, so why not be there to respond to her anytime she hits up his phone?
Unfortunately, there's a negative side to always being readily available. At first, you may THINK you're making her like you more by being able to answer her right away; in reality, though, it can cause her to LOSE interest in you. Why?
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE ALWAYS ABLE TO TALK TO HER, IT MEANS YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE EXCITING GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
At least that's what she'll think. Sure, she may THINK she wants you to be ready to talk every time she calls, but a part of her is going to wonder WHY you're so available all the time. Is it because you have no life? Is it because you stay sitting by your phone all day waiting for her to call you? And if so, why would you do that? Are you secretly obsessed with her? If she gets into a relationship with you, is it going to be one of those deals where SHE has to be the ONLY person around to entertain you? Don't you have other things you do during the day that DON'T involve thinking about her??
Yes, the above sounds stupid... but this is what girls start to think about whenever they know he's reachable any time of day.
The best course of action to combat this is, of course, to stay busy doing other things so that you really are NOT able to always answer your phone. However, if you're an AFC, you may have to start out by "faking the funk," as they say, LoL.
Here's what you can do:
The next time a girl calls you or text you, do NOT pick up or respond right away. Instead, wait for 20 minutes, THEN respond.
Now, 20 minutes isn't really a whole lot of time. In fact, I tend to go up to an hour or more before giving a call or text back - partially because I actually AM busy, but also because I need them to have the impression that (a)my time is valuable, and (b) that I have other important things going on besides them.
But, for AFCs that are used to picking up a phone or texting back every girl that contacts them A.S.A.P., waiting even 20 minutes to do so will seem like an ETERNITY. "What if it's important?" they'll think to themselves, "What if I don't respond right away and she forgets about me? What if she thinks I'm playing games by not responding as soon as she hits me up??"
TRUST ME, these things will NOT happen.
In actuality, a woman LIKES to think that a guy she likes is doing other things besides waiting around for her to call (and the ones that don't like it are psychos, and shouldn't be dealt with in the first place). In fact, when you DON'T answer her right away, she'll spend the next 20 minutes thinking about what you MIGHT be doing. That mystery alone will keep you on her mind, which will only help her build up more of an attraction to you
This should only be used when the woman first contacts you. For example, if a woman sends me a text, I'll wait for 20+min before I respond. After that first text I'm usually more quick to answer her during that particular conversation. Once the convo is over, I repeat the exact same process next time she hits me up.
(NOTE: I prefer phone calls to texting. Even after answering a text, I keep the convo relatively short, using it mostly to figure out a time to meet up. Texting for too long kills your shot at being with her long-term - see my article, "Texting is KILLING your chances with her" for my reasoning.)
Anyway, I hope this tidbit helps some of you AFCs on your path towards dating success!
I'm Harry Wilmington, former AFC turned girl-getter. I used to be on these boards under a different name a few years ago when I was going through my transition from being bad with women to someone who can bag them regularly.
There are constantly newcomers showing up on these boards, many of whom are in the AFC (average frustrated chump) phase and are looking to improve themselves with women. However, it can take many months and/or years before one makes progress.
Part of the reason for this? If you're an AFC, it means you have many, MANY bad habits you have to get rid of and replace with new habits. And, like any new habit, it can take a while for a new habit to feel comfortable and like a natural part of your game.
My goal on this site, with my various insights, is simply to present new habits for AFCs to consider adding to their repertoire, so that they can increase their chances of scoring with women and moving away from the AFC lifestyle.
With that said, today's tidbit is one an AFC can use to not appear so desperate for a woman's attention when she contacts you. I call it...
"THE 20-MINUTE RULE"
If you're talking to a new girl and you're both hitting it off well, at some point you're going to exchange numbers with her. As the guy, you're supposed to be the one to call her and set up a date; however, if she really likes you she may try to call and/or text you for any number of reasons (just to say hi, seeing what you're up to, wanting to know if you're thinking about her, etc.)
When this happens, an AFC - not used to having a girl actually hit HIM up first - will automatically pick up the phone and respond to her any time she contacts him. In his mind, she MUST be hella interested in him, so why not be there to respond to her anytime she hits up his phone?
Unfortunately, there's a negative side to always being readily available. At first, you may THINK you're making her like you more by being able to answer her right away; in reality, though, it can cause her to LOSE interest in you. Why?
BECAUSE IF YOU'RE ALWAYS ABLE TO TALK TO HER, IT MEANS YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE EXCITING GOING ON WITH YOUR LIFE.
At least that's what she'll think. Sure, she may THINK she wants you to be ready to talk every time she calls, but a part of her is going to wonder WHY you're so available all the time. Is it because you have no life? Is it because you stay sitting by your phone all day waiting for her to call you? And if so, why would you do that? Are you secretly obsessed with her? If she gets into a relationship with you, is it going to be one of those deals where SHE has to be the ONLY person around to entertain you? Don't you have other things you do during the day that DON'T involve thinking about her??
Yes, the above sounds stupid... but this is what girls start to think about whenever they know he's reachable any time of day.
The best course of action to combat this is, of course, to stay busy doing other things so that you really are NOT able to always answer your phone. However, if you're an AFC, you may have to start out by "faking the funk," as they say, LoL.
Here's what you can do:
The next time a girl calls you or text you, do NOT pick up or respond right away. Instead, wait for 20 minutes, THEN respond.
Now, 20 minutes isn't really a whole lot of time. In fact, I tend to go up to an hour or more before giving a call or text back - partially because I actually AM busy, but also because I need them to have the impression that (a)my time is valuable, and (b) that I have other important things going on besides them.
But, for AFCs that are used to picking up a phone or texting back every girl that contacts them A.S.A.P., waiting even 20 minutes to do so will seem like an ETERNITY. "What if it's important?" they'll think to themselves, "What if I don't respond right away and she forgets about me? What if she thinks I'm playing games by not responding as soon as she hits me up??"
TRUST ME, these things will NOT happen.
In actuality, a woman LIKES to think that a guy she likes is doing other things besides waiting around for her to call (and the ones that don't like it are psychos, and shouldn't be dealt with in the first place). In fact, when you DON'T answer her right away, she'll spend the next 20 minutes thinking about what you MIGHT be doing. That mystery alone will keep you on her mind, which will only help her build up more of an attraction to you
This should only be used when the woman first contacts you. For example, if a woman sends me a text, I'll wait for 20+min before I respond. After that first text I'm usually more quick to answer her during that particular conversation. Once the convo is over, I repeat the exact same process next time she hits me up.
(NOTE: I prefer phone calls to texting. Even after answering a text, I keep the convo relatively short, using it mostly to figure out a time to meet up. Texting for too long kills your shot at being with her long-term - see my article, "Texting is KILLING your chances with her" for my reasoning.)
Anyway, I hope this tidbit helps some of you AFCs on your path towards dating success!
