Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 19, 2012
- Messages
- 1,196
- Reaction score
- 204
Yep, it's me again!
For the past couple of weeks I've been seeing a lot of post on here about guys having girls either flake on them or say "no" to their dating proposals. In looking at these stories though, one thing becomes blatantly clear:
The problem is, the way these guys are asking the girls out suck major monkey allzbeys.
One of the main problems I'm seeing is that these guys will ask the girls out for a "last-minute date." It will go something like this:
The reason these girls aren't taking your offers, gentleman, is because it's a LAST MINUTE DATE.
In the majority of these stories, a guy is asking a girl he JUST met to suddenly abandon whatever plans she may have had for that afternoon/evening to go out with him. He believes if her interest is really high that she'll accept a date with him on the spot, whenever or wherever he asks for it.
And you may find a girl or two willing to do this - but these girls usually end up being clingy psychopaths who have NOTHING else going on in their lives, and are DYING for someone to show attention to.
However, the majority of girls WILL have lives and WILL be busy doing other things. They aren't just sitting around all day on their butts waiting for you to ask them on a date, and they DO make plans to do other stuff, with other people, or with their study/work stuff.
So, picture the scenario in reverse, shall we?
Let's say you're in college. You meet a girl, she likes you, she asks you for your number. The next day, you go to class and the teacher surprises you by saying "tomorrow you're going to have a 100 question history quiz on the 1800s." You realize you haven't been reading in class like you should, so now you have to buckle down and read/study for the rest of the day.
Just as you leave class, it's 12 noon. You figure you'll study later on tonight, so you decide to go to lunch, goof around for a while and hang with some of your friends.
Now it's 7 PM. You decide to go to your dorm room and start studying. As you open up a book, your phone rings - it's the girl you met the day before. She says "Hey you, I just got out of class, feel like getting something to eat?"
You think about it for a minute. You really, REALLY want to go... but you know this test is gonna be a ball-buster, and one of the more important ones for this class. Plus, you're on scholarship, so keeping your grades up is REALLY important.
However, you don't feel like telling her all this at the moment, so instead you say "Hey, I can't really do tonight, but maybe we can do it sometime next week. I'll talk to you later, bye!"
Now, in this scenario, have you lost interest in the girl? Of course not - you just had stuff to do!
More importantly, she requested you at the LAST MINUTE, when you already had stuff planned. Had she hit you up the night you met her and asked if you'd want to go out to dinner later the next day, you would've planned out your whole afternoon differently - maybe studied a bit earlier so by the time 8 PM rolled around you'd be ready to go.
THIS IS HOW IT IS WHEN YOU ASK THEM OUT LAST MINUTE. You're not showing respect for their time, or any indication that you think they have a life outside of you. Plus, girls need at least a day or two to build up the anticipation of knowing they're going out with someone. You swooping in last minute to try and get a date doesn't allow them to do that.
AND, most last minute dates tend to be... well, not that good. "Hey, Julie, if you're not busy, let's go to a party/dinner/movie/back to my place" - NONE of these dates have any real thought or specialness behind them because they're last minute. All she's gonna think is you're desperate for a date, and that she's just one of the many girls on a call list you have whenever you need last-minute arm candy.
So, guys: before you come on these boards whining and complaining about how some girl turned down your date invite, think about when and how you asked her. If it was a last-minute type of deal, you're being your own c*ck-blocker. You have a better chance of a girl saying "yes" to a date if you ask her a minimum of 2 days in advance.
Appreciate the fact that girls need a bit more time prior to the date. Dudes, girls like to buy new outfits, get new make up, hair done, brag to their girlfriends, etc. before going on a date - but they won't have time to DO THAT STUFF if you're asking them to meet up with you in 3 or 4 hours.
Think, men, think!
- Harry Wilmington
For the past couple of weeks I've been seeing a lot of post on here about guys having girls either flake on them or say "no" to their dating proposals. In looking at these stories though, one thing becomes blatantly clear:
The problem is, the way these guys are asking the girls out suck major monkey allzbeys.
One of the main problems I'm seeing is that these guys will ask the girls out for a "last-minute date." It will go something like this:
or:I don't think she's interested in me! I met her, talked to her for a few minutes, then asked her if she was doing anything that night and invited her to a party. She said "maybe" but never got back in touch with me! Woe is me! I think I should next her, what do you guys think?!?
I read these stories and laugh my butt off. Not because I want to make fun of these guys, but because I used to be the same way.I met this girl, we had a great convo so i got her number. I saw her the next day at school, so I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to join me for lunch... but she said she was BUSY!! Woe is me! How could she not want to eat with me!! I think I should go NC on her, what do you guys think?!?
The reason these girls aren't taking your offers, gentleman, is because it's a LAST MINUTE DATE.
In the majority of these stories, a guy is asking a girl he JUST met to suddenly abandon whatever plans she may have had for that afternoon/evening to go out with him. He believes if her interest is really high that she'll accept a date with him on the spot, whenever or wherever he asks for it.
And you may find a girl or two willing to do this - but these girls usually end up being clingy psychopaths who have NOTHING else going on in their lives, and are DYING for someone to show attention to.
However, the majority of girls WILL have lives and WILL be busy doing other things. They aren't just sitting around all day on their butts waiting for you to ask them on a date, and they DO make plans to do other stuff, with other people, or with their study/work stuff.
So, picture the scenario in reverse, shall we?
Let's say you're in college. You meet a girl, she likes you, she asks you for your number. The next day, you go to class and the teacher surprises you by saying "tomorrow you're going to have a 100 question history quiz on the 1800s." You realize you haven't been reading in class like you should, so now you have to buckle down and read/study for the rest of the day.
Just as you leave class, it's 12 noon. You figure you'll study later on tonight, so you decide to go to lunch, goof around for a while and hang with some of your friends.
Now it's 7 PM. You decide to go to your dorm room and start studying. As you open up a book, your phone rings - it's the girl you met the day before. She says "Hey you, I just got out of class, feel like getting something to eat?"
You think about it for a minute. You really, REALLY want to go... but you know this test is gonna be a ball-buster, and one of the more important ones for this class. Plus, you're on scholarship, so keeping your grades up is REALLY important.
However, you don't feel like telling her all this at the moment, so instead you say "Hey, I can't really do tonight, but maybe we can do it sometime next week. I'll talk to you later, bye!"
Now, in this scenario, have you lost interest in the girl? Of course not - you just had stuff to do!
More importantly, she requested you at the LAST MINUTE, when you already had stuff planned. Had she hit you up the night you met her and asked if you'd want to go out to dinner later the next day, you would've planned out your whole afternoon differently - maybe studied a bit earlier so by the time 8 PM rolled around you'd be ready to go.
THIS IS HOW IT IS WHEN YOU ASK THEM OUT LAST MINUTE. You're not showing respect for their time, or any indication that you think they have a life outside of you. Plus, girls need at least a day or two to build up the anticipation of knowing they're going out with someone. You swooping in last minute to try and get a date doesn't allow them to do that.
AND, most last minute dates tend to be... well, not that good. "Hey, Julie, if you're not busy, let's go to a party/dinner/movie/back to my place" - NONE of these dates have any real thought or specialness behind them because they're last minute. All she's gonna think is you're desperate for a date, and that she's just one of the many girls on a call list you have whenever you need last-minute arm candy.
So, guys: before you come on these boards whining and complaining about how some girl turned down your date invite, think about when and how you asked her. If it was a last-minute type of deal, you're being your own c*ck-blocker. You have a better chance of a girl saying "yes" to a date if you ask her a minimum of 2 days in advance.
Appreciate the fact that girls need a bit more time prior to the date. Dudes, girls like to buy new outfits, get new make up, hair done, brag to their girlfriends, etc. before going on a date - but they won't have time to DO THAT STUFF if you're asking them to meet up with you in 3 or 4 hours.
Think, men, think!
- Harry Wilmington