Lesson by marriage

[Knight's Cross]

Once upon a time I was married. After 3 years I ran into a serious health problem. I was 28 years old. My wife (now ex) was 24. Within 12 months she had her exit strategy in motion. The good news was I was fortunate not to have had children with her. We also weren't rich by any means and the split didn't cost me long term cost. I was still out 8k in legal bills, but that's a far cry from the terror that kids, and high earning could have done to me.
A.V Yader has a good article over at the Return of King site about the loyalty of women(or lack therof). I discovered that lesson early in life. Since my ex thought I may have incurred a lifelong health issue she bailed at the first sign of trouble. So what did I learn? Well I learned that the apple didn't fall too far from the tree. Had I done more research before buying, I would have found that her mother had done a early bail from her first marriage too. My Ex's dad was a Beta to a out of control woman. Since my Ex couldn't get her way, and I was looking to be broken, she quit and ran. Fortunately doing me a favor. The funny part is I healed up in another 6 months and have had a great career in aviation since then. I'm in good shape to this day, and make a very comfortable wage. I moved on unencumbered by a leach to my future. I haven't remarried, and for the most part I see women as playthings. Not to be taken too seriously or relied upon. For me, a Red Pill marriage awareness came early. For that I'm thankful.
So when a woman displays F'd up behavior I don't get too riled about it. That's their very nature. I used to get PO'd about it, but after the divorce and a couple bad relationship's I've realized that is what to expect. Some guys call it the demise of western civilization. Really? Or have women always behaved in nihilistic construct? I'd say the only change of late is the demasculinization of men. You choose your path. Me, I choose to tell them what I accept and don't. They play along, great. No? Well hit the road honey.
So in sum, I'm glad in a F'd up way that I had a serious health issue. It unveiled the lack of character of my then wife. Come to remember she even tried to get me to pay for half her college loans. Having a good attorney helped, we got that shut down right away. You really don't know people. Acceptance of their weakness is a good start point.

KC

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Some guys call it the demise of western civilization. Really? Or have women always behaved in nihilistic construct? I'd say the only change of late is the demasculinization of men.

This is something I've thought about off and on over the past couple of years. I know for a FACT that women have ALWAYS been like this. It has nothing to do with "western" civilization. 2000+ years ago people would say it's because they grew up in Rome or whatever other excuse.

How do I know this is fact that they've always been like this? Simple. Take a look at muslims. Now, I don't subscribe to the religion of islam at all and some of their practices I find completely backward and downright stone age in some of the stuff they believe, and in some ways how they treat their women. There are different sects of islam just like their are different flavors of christianity; some treat their women worse than others.

But my point here is I respect the men who instituted this religion centuries ago. They came to treat muslim women this way for a reason and it didn't involve just getting drunk one night and writing up all the religious code that people had to follow. It was developed over time with understanding of how men and women behave differently. Even today, centuries later and despite the easy access to "western" civilization, islam still thrives and women still stick with it.

Why don't the women move to a "western" country instead? Some do. But many don't and that's probably more telling than anything.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Saul,
Good points. The way I see it, western man has abdicated his role to women. Once feminism set it's course there was no fast way turning back. It will take generations to turn the ship again. Red Pill men are caught in a strange time. You are correct in that some religions, Islam being one have not taken up this illogical belief set. As for what constitutes religion here in the US, we are screwed. It's awash with estrogen. There are small pockets of male/female correct dynamic as roles. They however are completely overrun by pop circus Christianity.

Which takes me back to why I see women as play things. Currently not worth the long term investment.

KC

 

[backbreaker]

so you got in a relationship with a women you didn't properly screen, by your very own admission, she did exactly what her mother taught her to do, you're still butthurt over it lol, and becuase of your lack of screening, now you blame an entire gender becuase you refuse to take responsiblity for your own actions?


how would you feel if a woman said she was in a 3 year relationship with a guy that ended up cheating on her and afterwards vowed to never trust a man again. that's pretty much what you're doing now


it will be 3 years for me on the 17th which is also my birthday. my wife has been with me through seizures, depression, hi's and low's, up's and downs. then again i spent 5 years screening my wife before we got married.

 

[Knight's Cross]

Hey BB,
I'd say I'm sharing an experience so others can learn from a mistake I made. I was looking back over my years, and this was a big learning point. It's a personal choice whether you trust a woman or not. For me, I choose not to at that level.
KC

 

[bmp2cpm]

A 24 year-old woman that looked at her options and thought she saw something better? What are the odds......Quite high considering women in their 20's have the highest divorce rate of any age group. The deck was stacked against you from Day 1 Knight's Cross. Even if you hadn't had the health issues at the time, she probably still would have done what she did.

 

[logicallefty]

Great post, OP. Excellent subject.

I always catch myself saying sh|t like: All women are nuts.. All women are lying cheating wh0r3s. All women are kniving c\_/nts who will suck the resources and life out of a man and leave him a laying in the road like a dumb deer nearly dead and not knowing what just hit him. Women never think logically. No woman can't budget a dollar in a dime store. , etc, etc, etc". I really don't mean that ALL WOMAN are these things, but here is what I do think:


- Good women are out there, but they are the exception, not the norm

- Good marriages "till death do us part" are possible, but they are the exception

- Women who genuinely care about their man and see him for more than a resources are out there, but they are the exception

- Some women can budget and handle money, but they are the exception

- Some women can handle doing masculine jobs like construction, etc. without using their v@g to help them out, but these women are rare

- Some women can think logically and leave their emotions out of the equation, but it's not the norm

So what are you saying is NORM then, Lefty? ^^ see paragraph 1.

Except the norm, but strive to find the exception knowing you may never find her, and you will be fine.

 

[Tenacity]

You cannot SCREEN the notion of someone staying with you forever or being happily ever after, you can't screen that. All you can screen is that on paper and at the present TIME, the woman is somewhat of decent quality. Her quality, attitude, personality, WEIGHT, looks, financial situation, health, etc., etc., can all be totally different 5 years from now.

so you got in a relationship with a women you didn't properly screen, by your very own admission, she did exactly what her mother taught her to do, you're still butthurt over it lol, and becuase of your lack of screening, now you blame an entire gender becuase you refuse to take responsiblity for your own actions?

Man I hate this mentality, it's so Blue Pill. This mentality that you are somehow LESS OF A MAN because you didn't properly screen the fvcked up market to find someone of decent quality...as if doing so is a walk in the park. You cannot screen a good wife, all you can screen is someone that can be of decent quality right now, you have absolutely no idea what she will be like in 5 years. No idea.


how would you feel if a woman said she was in a 3 year relationship with a guy that ended up cheating on her and afterwards vowed to never trust a man again. that's pretty much what you're doing now

I would tell her to do whatever she feels, it's her life. If she feels majority of men "ain't shyt" as a lot of women say, then so be it. I tend to agree, most men "ain't shyt".

It's so funny because you Blue Pill guys up here shaming others for not signing up for this Marriage shyt, are ANY of you guys going to be there to pay for Legal Fees, Alimony Checks, Divorce Settlement Checks, and Excessive Child Support Checks? Are you going to be there to help the guy FINANCIALLY through that crap? If not, how about you guys stop your Blue Pill shaming tactics and when a guy says he doesn't want to participate in the scam that is the Family Court, you just RESPECT his decision?

it will be 3 years for me on the 17th which is also my birthday. my wife has been with me through seizures, depression, hi's and low's, up's and downs. then again i spent 5 years screening my wife before we got married.

Come back and report when you are at year 10, year 15 and year 20.

 

[speed dawg]

Every woman can delve into that behavior if you do not keep the frame, even the good ones. However, there are things that bring that behavior to light in some easier than others. Broken family, entitlement, Daddy issues, etc. are some of those things, like you experienced.

It's hard, but there is a middle ground. The hard reality is you have to screen your wife, THEN keep the frame. Constantly.

If you end up with a BPD type woman, then you have to go to pretty crazy lengths to keep the frame. It's the balancing act.

 

[yoyoing]

considering the cheating % is pretty even for men and women I don't think this is a women problem but more of a human/western world problem.
Blaming this on women is easy but the real issue lies with the society we are in and the rampant narcissim of a lot of people...

 

[L B]

Control is what all women want. They will show that sooner or later from my experience.

Good thread op.