"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Less than a month before Court Hearing on....

TheLadiesMan

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...reducing my child support, and joint custody.

Any single fathers who've been through this, please, suggestions and advice.
The judge will know how much I make, and how much time my son presently spends with me, that part I've got ready.

...just wondering ig there's any tips as to what to say, or what to present other than what I've mentioned?

My thanks in advance.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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penkitten

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you say :
"your honor, every moment that i spend with my son is priceless to me. i believe wholeheartedly that it is in his best benefit to have equal time with both of us parents. he needs and deserves equal time with each of us so that he may grow into a fine young responsible man one day. "

i believe that should sum it all up and you wont need to say much else.
 

Bible_Belt

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Try to be able to document everything possible. Bring paycheck stubs and any relevant receipts or bank account statements. Have these things ready in case the judge wants to see any of it.
 

window

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how can the courts reduce custody time if you're a responsible father ?
 

classy broadside

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Joint custody: Are you asking for joint custody?

The judge, practically speaking, will have wide discretion on almost everything.

So come up with a theory, something like "I'm a responsible, caring, loving father."

Then fit the facts to the theory.

You don't have a job that pays the bills. You have a "long-term, well-paying career with advancement opportunities and a flexible work schedule to accomdate my kids."

Your son doesn't spend time with you. Each time he visits you is "an opportunity to show him how much I love and care about him, and a time to help him grow up to be a responsible young adult."

Of course, you need evidence to document that.

Dress nicely, show up early, speak clearly and without slang, be absolutely respectful to the judge, don't talk sh1t about your ex (there's a fine line between laying out ugly evidence of your ex and calling her names), and always work in how much you care for your child in everything you say.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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TheLadiesMan

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Wow... thank you everyone. I've got a good ideal on how to start things, and I'll work from there.

The hearing is to reduce my child support, and hopefully, increase my custody with my son.

I've had an apt. for my son and I, and most recently, beat out a bunch of ppl for the 1st shift position @ work, so now, I can pick my son up from daycare, cook him dinner, play with him, read to him, put him to bed, get him ready for school and drive him to school.

I'm just trying to do my best to be a good father for him.
 

MaddXMan

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Is working it out with mom out of the question? If you did you and her could present a united front to the judge that you both want shared custody. My ex and I worked out the details ourselves for this and split the cost for 1 attorney, we didn't even have to appear in court. But my ex and I are different, we remain friends and live within a few miles of each other - which kind of bothers my current gf. Like my ex and I would ever get back together ahahahahaha.
 

TheLadiesMan

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Ok, had the hearing... brought all my papers, a proposal, my monthly bills, and the judge didn't look at sh*t. I was like 'wtf?!' ...instead, she had me write out on a piece of paper my monthly expenses. At that point, I was frustrated as hell, and probably didn't put down everything I wanted. In any case... last week, I finally got the court decision.

They reduced it by $100. Which is more than what I figured it to be.
So now she's pissed... that instead of getting $600 a month from me, she gets $500... what a b*tch.

I'm cool with it. My finances are in order for the year. That $500 goes towards my son's day care ($145 a week) health insurance, clothes, and a roof over his head... even though I gave him that before she did. :)
 

Scaramouche

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Dear Ladies Man,
Just occasionally in the gloom doom and despair surrounding Men and their outcomes in the Family Courts,we hear a story like yours I am really glad for you......You had some wise counsel in this forum I would like to think it played a part.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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