The Antichrist_Star
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 9, 2002
- Messages
- 1,068
- Reaction score
- 3
- Age
- 39
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name is The Matrix: Reloaded. Today… we are going to investigate a phenomenon commonly known as “The Friend Zone.” In the past, the friend zone was something that was to be avoided at all costs. This is something that I pondered for some time. The Friend Zone, in theory is the point of no return… but after further investigation, research and experiments the “Friend Zone” may not be as bad as recently assumed. Allow us to investigate this phenomenon shall we gentlemen?
Problem:
Before we go any further, let us discuss the problem with being in the “Friend Zone.” We first investigate what the Friend Zone is. This phenomenon usually occurs when a man takes interest in a girl. They talk, they flirt and everything is going well. Now… “Friend Zone” status can be achieved in a number of ways, but it is atypically achieved when the man does not make a move. The man and the woman are enjoying each other’s company, they begin to get closer to each other, and they become interested in each other. The man (usually propelled by fear of something) does not take advantage of this new relationship and as it goes on… the woman becomes less and less interested because the man has not taken the initiative to take the relationship further. What occurs then is a dramatic shift in interest. The man’s interests in the woman remains constant (or in most cases rises) while the woman’s interest in the man wanes. The relationship stagnates, and by the time the man finally decides to take the initiative… the woman’s interest is depleted.
The Myth:
It is commonly preached on this site as well as others that being friends with women is something that should be avoided at all cost. Another common idea is that not only can women and men not be friends… they should not be friends. The idea behind this is simple… any and every girl that you met should be “potential.” If this is not the case, the woman should be discarded. To call it a “myth” is a bit of an insult. Many a good advice has come about based off of this premise. Moreover, following this premise has successfully kept men out of the dreaded “Friend Zone” and out of being attracted to a girl whom is not attracted to you. It is not my intention to say that this current conception does not work… it is my intention to say that there is better.
“Friend Zone:” Reloaded
So what does this all mean? This means that I, The Matrix: Reloaded (typical shameless plug) present to you the new “Friend Zone.” During my time out, I have experimented the benefits (as well as the drawbacks) of being friends with women. In taking everything into consideration, I have determined that being friends with women far exceeds the drawbacks. This new “Friend Zone” is not without some rules (rather guidelines that should be taken into account) to aid you in understanding this new train of thought.
1. Attractive… not attracted/Social proof: I stated this as the number one rule, because I believe that it is the most important. I (and I am sure everyone else) has met someone that they found very attractive, but for whatever reason was not attracted to them. These are the type of women that I recommend keeping as friends. Many of us make the mistake of doing one of two things. Either we keep the women around whom we have absolutely no interest in what so ever (meaning that they are not even attractive) and they are not even considered friends but mere acquaintances. Or, we have the women whom we would much rather be in a relationship with as close friends… and we already know the mistake that is. This is where we locate the happy medium. What I like to do is keep women whom I have no interest (but I find attractive) as friends. This is for a number of reasons: Attractive women have the tendency to have even more attractive friends. In fact… one of the girls I am currently dating was introduced to me by one of my female friends (if she was not such a dunce… I would be after her). Moreover, attractive women have the tendency to attract more attractive women to you… the whole “Social Proof” theory.
2. Uses… not excuses: Many of us make the horrible mistake of believing that very attractive women should not have to do anything else but look attractive… wrong. If you are going to have attractive women as friends… make sure (like your male counterparts) that she is of some use to you besides flashing her around the club. Is she smart? Is she funny? Not only should these women that you choose to be friends be attractive, they should also have some very good uses to you. Again, like the male versions, your female friends should be there for you… help you out of sticky situations (even when they are your fault) and just be overall good friends. Never let their beauty sway your judgment.
3. One of the guys/Potential may rise: This is the tricky rule, and one that may seem like it is contradicting the other two… but it does not. If you meet a woman, whom you believe that you may have become interested in…, decide which category you will place her in quickly. When it comes to men and women being attracted to each other, there is a period of time that I like to call “stuck in limbo” time. If two people are not sure that they are attracted to each other, but believe that the possibility may occur there is a time period in which the truth may be determined. I would like to think that this period is around one to three months (at the most). I mention this because you and your female “friend” may be in this situation. If this sort of situation were to arise, it is in your best interest to switch gears… pursue her. If you do not pursue her that means that she will simply become “one of the guys…” a female friend. If you wait too long while you two are stuck in limbo… you will land in the dreaded “Friend Zone.” However, if you take some sort of action (keeping it as friends or pushing it to more) the entire situation remains in your favor and control.
This is really what it all boils down to gentlemen. In the dreaded, “Friend Zone” you do not have control of the situation… you have to succumb to the whims of the woman (always a mistake). However, if you approach the “Friend Zone” this way, you have the ability to determine what happens. Moreover, you would have attractive, female friends that are actually useful and make good friends. It sounds far fetched gentlemen… but give it some thought.
The Rules... Have Changed
Problem:
Before we go any further, let us discuss the problem with being in the “Friend Zone.” We first investigate what the Friend Zone is. This phenomenon usually occurs when a man takes interest in a girl. They talk, they flirt and everything is going well. Now… “Friend Zone” status can be achieved in a number of ways, but it is atypically achieved when the man does not make a move. The man and the woman are enjoying each other’s company, they begin to get closer to each other, and they become interested in each other. The man (usually propelled by fear of something) does not take advantage of this new relationship and as it goes on… the woman becomes less and less interested because the man has not taken the initiative to take the relationship further. What occurs then is a dramatic shift in interest. The man’s interests in the woman remains constant (or in most cases rises) while the woman’s interest in the man wanes. The relationship stagnates, and by the time the man finally decides to take the initiative… the woman’s interest is depleted.
The Myth:
It is commonly preached on this site as well as others that being friends with women is something that should be avoided at all cost. Another common idea is that not only can women and men not be friends… they should not be friends. The idea behind this is simple… any and every girl that you met should be “potential.” If this is not the case, the woman should be discarded. To call it a “myth” is a bit of an insult. Many a good advice has come about based off of this premise. Moreover, following this premise has successfully kept men out of the dreaded “Friend Zone” and out of being attracted to a girl whom is not attracted to you. It is not my intention to say that this current conception does not work… it is my intention to say that there is better.
“Friend Zone:” Reloaded
So what does this all mean? This means that I, The Matrix: Reloaded (typical shameless plug) present to you the new “Friend Zone.” During my time out, I have experimented the benefits (as well as the drawbacks) of being friends with women. In taking everything into consideration, I have determined that being friends with women far exceeds the drawbacks. This new “Friend Zone” is not without some rules (rather guidelines that should be taken into account) to aid you in understanding this new train of thought.
1. Attractive… not attracted/Social proof: I stated this as the number one rule, because I believe that it is the most important. I (and I am sure everyone else) has met someone that they found very attractive, but for whatever reason was not attracted to them. These are the type of women that I recommend keeping as friends. Many of us make the mistake of doing one of two things. Either we keep the women around whom we have absolutely no interest in what so ever (meaning that they are not even attractive) and they are not even considered friends but mere acquaintances. Or, we have the women whom we would much rather be in a relationship with as close friends… and we already know the mistake that is. This is where we locate the happy medium. What I like to do is keep women whom I have no interest (but I find attractive) as friends. This is for a number of reasons: Attractive women have the tendency to have even more attractive friends. In fact… one of the girls I am currently dating was introduced to me by one of my female friends (if she was not such a dunce… I would be after her). Moreover, attractive women have the tendency to attract more attractive women to you… the whole “Social Proof” theory.
2. Uses… not excuses: Many of us make the horrible mistake of believing that very attractive women should not have to do anything else but look attractive… wrong. If you are going to have attractive women as friends… make sure (like your male counterparts) that she is of some use to you besides flashing her around the club. Is she smart? Is she funny? Not only should these women that you choose to be friends be attractive, they should also have some very good uses to you. Again, like the male versions, your female friends should be there for you… help you out of sticky situations (even when they are your fault) and just be overall good friends. Never let their beauty sway your judgment.
3. One of the guys/Potential may rise: This is the tricky rule, and one that may seem like it is contradicting the other two… but it does not. If you meet a woman, whom you believe that you may have become interested in…, decide which category you will place her in quickly. When it comes to men and women being attracted to each other, there is a period of time that I like to call “stuck in limbo” time. If two people are not sure that they are attracted to each other, but believe that the possibility may occur there is a time period in which the truth may be determined. I would like to think that this period is around one to three months (at the most). I mention this because you and your female “friend” may be in this situation. If this sort of situation were to arise, it is in your best interest to switch gears… pursue her. If you do not pursue her that means that she will simply become “one of the guys…” a female friend. If you wait too long while you two are stuck in limbo… you will land in the dreaded “Friend Zone.” However, if you take some sort of action (keeping it as friends or pushing it to more) the entire situation remains in your favor and control.
This is really what it all boils down to gentlemen. In the dreaded, “Friend Zone” you do not have control of the situation… you have to succumb to the whims of the woman (always a mistake). However, if you approach the “Friend Zone” this way, you have the ability to determine what happens. Moreover, you would have attractive, female friends that are actually useful and make good friends. It sounds far fetched gentlemen… but give it some thought.
The Rules... Have Changed
