Legitimate question on dating these days...

[thadder]

To me, Tinder and Bumble dry up super quick in my home state.

When I go out of state for work, I'll have bumble and tinder downloaded just to meet new people or get recommendations for places.

Nothing has transpired on either app since 2019, where I had previous success. It's a bit odd.

But fast forward to the current day, and something about dating these days just feels incredibly "off" to me, maybe it's me?

I feel like the census is that everyone is friendly, likes photos of you on social media, but doesn't always have a meaning behind it.

You might get a flirty vibe, but then a cold shoulder the next few days (as I'm sure all people have stuff going on in their lives) but you really tend to sit on the fence about wondering if someone really likes you, or if you should indeed make a move. It seems to be this back and forth thing with really no result unless you go for it, and heaven forbid, fall flat on your face.

Also, post pandemic, I feel like people just don't want to be bothered by anyone, so even if you strike up a rather harmless, non sexual approach or conversation about something, they tend to give you this odd look like "Why are you talking to me" -- it's as if human interaction is just ceasing to exist completely.

Am I just losing my mind here?

 

[The Duke]

With each generation, and the more technology is integrated into daily life the more I see human to human interaction decline as well as social skills. It's really sad.

This forum isnt immune either, I've been on here long enough to make that statement as well.

 

[BadBoy89]

Also, post pandemic, I feel like people just don't want to be bothered by anyone, so even if you strike up a rather harmless, non sexual approach or conversation about something, they tend to give you this odd look like "Why are you talking to me" -- it's as if human interaction is just ceasing to exist completely.

Am I just losing my mind here?

Nope its real.

Women only want to be bothered if it's to make cash, free food, or you are an alpha male who they want sex from. Other than that, they don't want to be bothered at all at all.

As was said, technology has made things much much worse for men. Back in the day you had to phone and email and have some sort of connection. Now its just based on looks. Unless the woman is 35+, then she knows she can't be that picky.

Fight the power!

 

[user252009]

Yep, you’re spot on, happening to me right now. Not sure if there’s another solution than just deleting all these apps. Unfortunately, I rely on them heavily for my side business.

 

[felaflex]

To me, Tinder and Bumble dry up super quick in my home state.

When I go out of state for work, I'll have bumble and tinder downloaded just to meet new people or get recommendations for places.

Nothing has transpired on either app since 2019, where I had previous success. It's a bit odd.

But fast forward to the current day, and something about dating these days just feels incredibly "off" to me, maybe it's me?

I feel like the census is that everyone is friendly, likes photos of you on social media, but doesn't always have a meaning behind it.

You might get a flirty vibe, but then a cold shoulder the next few days (as I'm sure all people have stuff going on in their lives) but you really tend to sit on the fence about wondering if someone really likes you, or if you should indeed make a move. It seems to be this back and forth thing with really no result unless you go for it, and heaven forbid, fall flat on your face.

Also, post pandemic, I feel like people just don't want to be bothered by anyone, so even if you strike up a rather harmless, non sexual approach or conversation about something, they tend to give you this odd look like "Why are you talking to me" -- it's as if human interaction is just ceasing to exist completely.

Am I just losing my mind here?

I would say that times are changing depending on how guys are becoming woke too fast these days.

 

[SW15]

For those who have used the major swipe apps in the last 2 years, most people are reporting worse experiences than using apps 5-7 years ago, when they were newer. In the past, the apps were good for generating quantity of dates, but those quantity of dates were usually low quality, "one date, no sex, no second date" type interactions. Most men are generating fewer dates in more recent times. Some might argue that the app generated dates might be slightly better quality because if a woman is motivated to get together during a pandemic, her interest level might be higher.

The most recent stats I saw showed that Tinder is 76% male now and Bumble/Hinge are 65% male. Those are tough environments.

Also, post pandemic, I feel like people just don't want to be bothered by anyone, so even if you strike up a rather harmless, non sexual approach or conversation about something, they tend to give you this odd look like "Why are you talking to me" -- it's as if human interaction is just ceasing to exist completely.

Indoor masking was bad for approaching in day game venues like grocery stores, mall stores, and even gyms. People have seen others as potential disease causes. That's not going to help start a mating scenario. It's going to take a while to recover from it, even if case counts are low. Outdoor approaching will still the best form of approaching for a while.

Women only want to be bothered if it's to make cash, free food, or you are an alpha male who they want sex from. Other than that, they don't want to be bothered at all at all.

As was said, technology has made things much much worse for men. Back in the day you had to phone and email and have some sort of connection. Now its just based on looks. Unless the woman is 35+, then she knows she can't be that picky.

Yes, those are the only situations where women want to be bothered. That was true in the 2010s too but continually getting worse. More women learned about cash generating options from OnlyFans due to pandemic. I saw some stories that "sugar daddy" arrangements went up due to pandemic as well. Not much changed for the top tier guys due to pandemic.

Even 35+ women are generating a fair amount of interest on swipe apps and social media.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Dating apps are becoming played out, I always feel emotionally overloaded and cheap after swiping even 5 times. Everything seems so fake and everywhere I go people seem to always be in a bad mood, bitter and mad. Complaining about everything.

Every young person I talk to seems to be this way, I remember not having a care in the world till I reached maybe 27. (31 now and still really don't) I talk to youngins today, young women and men and they all seem so depressed and unhappy. I was talking to this 23 year old girl at my job trying to feel her out and she was explaining to me its the worst time to be alive. Its like people wake up just to hate the world. I'm mean I kind of agree with them and im going into a conspiracy theory here but, I think that alot of the baby boomers who hold all the wealth and power and pillaging this world before they hit the grave and could give 2fuks about the next generation. I think this type of attitude transcends into dating.

As far as dating apps Hinge is your best bet, the women are all still relatively good quality. All the rest have gone to the dumps.

A s far as dating, I'm starting to think most sane people are moving on to greener pastures, I dont know where that is yet tho.

 

[SW15]

Dating apps are becoming played out, I always feel emotionally overloaded and cheap after swiping even 5 times. Everything seems so fake and everywhere I go people seem to always be in a bad mood, bitter and mad. Complaining about everything.

Every young person I talk to seems to be this way, I remember not having a care in the world till I reached maybe 27. (31 now and still really don't) I talk to youngins today, young women and men and they all seem so depressed and unhappy. I was talking to this 23 year old girl at my job trying to feel her out and she was explaining to me its the worst time to be alive. Its like people wake up just to hate the world. I'm mean I kind of agree with them and im going into a conspiracy theory here but, I think that alot of the baby boomers who hold all the wealth and power and pillaging this world before they hit the grave and could give 2fuks about the next generation. I think this type of attitude transcends into dating.

As far as dating apps Hinge is your best bet, the women are all still relatively good quality. All the rest have gone to the dumps.

A s far as dating, I'm starting to think most sane people are moving on to greener pastures, I dont know where that is yet tho.

Hinge is shiit now too.

I don’t think the Boomers care about the post Boomer generations. Both Gen Y/Millennials & Gen Z are eating shiit as a result. Gen X managed to fend for themselves a bit better due to some better timing.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Hinge is shiit now too.

I don’t think the Boomers care about the post Boomer generations. Both Gen Y/Millennials & Gen Z are eating shiit as a result. Gen X managed to fend for themselves a bit better due to some better timing.

Haven't been on hinge since last fall and did see alot of single moms but their was still a large variety of decent women, can't believe its gotten that bad so fast.

As far as the boomers go yeah their isnt much youngins (us) can do unitl 20 or so more years till they all hit the grave and the wealth and power is more evenly disrupted, but its still no reason to hate life and be bitter.

 

[oldmanofthesea]

You might get a flirty vibe, but then a cold shoulder the next few days (as I'm sure all people have stuff going on in their lives) but you really tend to sit on the fence about wondering if someone really likes you, or if you should indeed make a move. It seems to be this back and forth thing with really no result unless you go for it, and heaven forbid, fall flat on your face.

This indicates to me that you are not being dominant and masculine and leading the interaction. You are tip-toeing around waiting for a glowing neon green light from the woman before you risk rejection by asking her out. On the street or in the apps, you must never operate like this. You don't need to know if she likes you to ask her out - that's backwards - you WON'T know if she really likes you UNTIL you ask her out. Just ask her out. On apps, exchange 3-10 back and forth messages (on the higher end if her reply speed is good, lower end if it's bad) and then say, "We should continue this discussion over a drink. How about Acme Bar 8pm this Thursday." That's literally it. Force her to show her cards ASAP and you will avoid wasting your time.

Heaven forbid you fall flat on your face? By what? Asking her out and having her say no or ghosting you? Big deal. If you can't deal with a "no" from a woman then you will need to do some work on yourself before you will have success at dating. You must be able to take no's as if it didn't matter to you one bit. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

Also, post pandemic, I feel like people just don't want to be bothered by anyone, so even if you strike up a rather harmless, non sexual approach or conversation about something, they tend to give you this odd look like "Why are you talking to me" -- it's as if human interaction is just ceasing to exist completely.

Am I just losing my mind here?

No you aren't. The pandemic has definitely dealt a blow to human-human interaction. It's causing massive spikes in road rage incidents and violent crime too. Cold approach has become more difficult, but it still works. I hope things go back to where they were after things hopefully return to normal and people are hanging out in groups and traveling and meeting people etc. But again, cold approaching still works - you'll just get fewer women willing to stop and talk.

 

[Kotaix]

To me, Tinder and Bumble dry up super quick in my home state.

When I go out of state for work, I'll have bumble and tinder downloaded just to meet new people or get recommendations for places.

Nothing has transpired on either app since 2019, where I had previous success. It's a bit odd.

But fast forward to the current day, and something about dating these days just feels incredibly "off" to me, maybe it's me?

I feel like the census is that everyone is friendly, likes photos of you on social media, but doesn't always have a meaning behind it.

You might get a flirty vibe, but then a cold shoulder the next few days (as I'm sure all people have stuff going on in their lives) but you really tend to sit on the fence about wondering if someone really likes you, or if you should indeed make a move. It seems to be this back and forth thing with really no result unless you go for it, and heaven forbid, fall flat on your face.

Also, post pandemic, I feel like people just don't want to be bothered by anyone, so even if you strike up a rather harmless, non sexual approach or conversation about something, they tend to give you this odd look like "Why are you talking to me" -- it's as if human interaction is just ceasing to exist completely.

Am I just losing my mind here?

Social media has always been a place for fake interactions. It's especially sad when people take selfies that show something generic like the sky and proceed to lie about being on vacation somewhere really cool using stock pictures of some place. These apps are designed to be addictive, their algorithms are designed to provoke you and they provide almost no real value to the user whatsoever. Meanwhile they're selling your data and censoring information.

The Post-Pandemic scenario will inevitably change, you just need to give it time. I made note of how long it took people to stop wearing masks at the gym after the mandates were lifted, and I was surprised at how long it took for people to stop wearing them.

 

[Robert28]

I’ve heard about Hinge banking guys for no reason whatsoever. Dunno how true that is but I was banned in tinder back in the day for apparently trying to sell something?lol Don’t remember that happening but ok.