Leaving Voicemail Messages

[delta545]

This is my first post here, but I've been exposed to the helpful tips at sosuave.net. I decided to sign up because I want to learn more about myself and hopefully teach others. So here goes:

Scenario:

So I met this girl online through MySpace. She actually messaged me because she liked my quotes. Anyway, we've been exchanging messages to each other for two weeks and I asked her for her number. She gave it to me and waited about 3 days or so to call her. I called her and got her voicemail message. I didn't leave a message because it was my first time calling her. I tried to call her again and unfortunately her voicemail message came on. So I left a message saying, "Hi (name) this is (name) and I just wanted to see how you're doing, talk to you soon". Bam. That was short and sweet and left it at that.

It has been two days and I don't to call again because I don't want her to perceive me as needy/clingy. I am just wondering why she would not pick up. It seems that when we chatted through e-mail, we had so much in common and she was really responsive.

Have any of you been in this similar predicament? I'm trying to figure out what to do.

 

[j81]

I would probably not contact her again. If she contacts you, great. If not...NEXT.

 

[tsmith2334]

Did she have your number? Maybe she didn't pick-up (twice) because it was an unknown number.

As for not returning your call, I'm not sure. Maybe she's nervous or just doesn't like talking on the phone.

This is a tough situation because you've never met her in person.

If you knew her better, I'd say call her again in a week, but since you don't I might stick to messages. I wouldn't next her just yet, in essence all she did was forget to call a stranger back.

 

[delta545]

She did not have my number. I called her on her cell phone so I would think she would have caller ID. Yeah, she might have been nervous or something else.

I have not met met her in person so this a pretty tough situation. I might just send her an e-mail again asking how's her weekend. Or should I just wait for her to contact me via email/phone? I just want to know she she'd received my voicemail message because I just want to hang out and get to know her.

 

[tsmith2334]

She did not have my number. I called her on her cell phone so I would think she would have caller ID. Yeah, she might have been nervous or something else.

I have not met met her in person so this a pretty tough situation. I might just send her an e-mail again asking how's her weekend. Or should I just wait for her to contact me via email/phone? I just want to know she she'd received my voicemail message because I just want to hang out and get to know her.

she may or may not contact you. if she does, it's a plus. don't listen to all this nonsense that if she doesn't contact you that you need to "next her".

what i would do is wait a couple days and message her... just something brief

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Nah she wouldn't be nervous. Girls just don't call most often. They're usually busy or something.

But 1 thing for you - you're overthinking all of this. This is why online stuff isn't the good way to do things... lol.

I'd next her though man. If she really wanted to talk to you, she would. She could be playin games where she says something but she really doesn't care.

Actions before words.

 

[j81]

I'd next her though man. If she really wanted to talk to you, she would. She could be playin games where she says something but she really doesn't care.

exactly. Which is why I wouldnt contact her again. If she likes you or is interested in you in any way she will contact you. If she doesnt, shes not worth your time.

Contacting her will only continue to make you look needy/wussy and end up making her "the prize".

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Yeah she probably just likes talking to you online but doesn't want to take it into the real world.

Into the real world.

 

[betterthandead]

exactly. Which is why I wouldnt contact her again. If she likes you or is interested in you in any way she will contact you. If she doesnt, shes not worth your time.

Contacting her will only continue to make you look needy/wussy and end up making her "the prize".

I wouldn't say "she's not worth your time" , I'd just leave it at that and see what other girls are out there. If you feel like trying again to contact her, fine but personally unless I'm really interested in her I'll try again but typically I don't. Just because someone gets a number or even goes on ONE date with a girl never means the guy just stops looking for girls.

 

[delta545]

Thanks for the responses guys, I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm really interested in her and I want to get to know her better. I will send a brief message in a few days and I'll see what happens. If she doesn't respond, then I will have to next her.

 

[Effington]

Yep, just as said above. I know a lot of people who don't pick up unknown numbers, but if it was a person they were interested in, of course they would call back if you left a message.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

Thanks for the responses guys, I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm really interested in her and I want to get to know her better. I will send a brief message in a few days and I'll see what happens. If she doesn't respond, then I will have to next her.

I think you shouldn't send her a message, just get her IM or something first.
Also, online relationships don't work out that well... trust me haha.

 

[Effington]

Also, online relationships don't work out that well... trust me haha.

I've heard many stories of the contrary...your bad experience from meeting someone online doesn't necessarily mean it's always that way.

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

I've heard many stories of the contrary...your bad experience from meeting someone online doesn't necessarily mean it's always that way.

I never said I had a bad experience.
It sounds like these 2 lovers don't live anywhere close to each other so it would be a huge waste of time and effort and your life...

 

[delta545]

I never said I had a bad experience.
It sounds like these 2 lovers don't live anywhere close to each other so it would be a huge waste of time and effort and your life...

Actually, she lives 1.5 hours away from me. She's not THAT far.

 

[Obsidian]

There's actually a really good discussion about this in the Mature Man forum you should check out.

For now, I'd suggest not calling again until you've chatted with her further. You've handled things well so far, tho: Calling twice and leaving a message on the second attempt is fairly standard, unless you're one of the guys who just chooses not to leave msgs altogether.

And btw, do your best to make damn sure she's not ugly. Girls on myspace are experts at hiding their weight despite showing pics of themselves. Imo, myspace is mostly a waste of time and possibly detrimental to your soul as a DJ. (DJ skills can't really shine through much over the internet -- which is why geeks stay online so much -- and also myspace is so artificial that you will use it as a crutch.)

 

[Johnny_Kage]

If she doesn't call you back, forget her.

Also, since we're on the topic, it's a pain in the ass getting girls to hang out after meeting them off myspace. It's not a terrible idea (****, I do it), but it should be used as a supplement to picking up girls in real life.

The only thing that's worked for me as far as picking up girls on myspace or dating websites is playing the numbers game. I send messages out to about 20 girls at a time. About 10 respond. I talk to them for a little while on myspace. Then I get their screen names and build rapport. Then I switch to phone. Eventually, after a couple of weeks, I get a hang out with one or two of them (and the hang outs usually lead to sex). It's very time-consuming. But go for it if that's what you want.

- Kage

 

[delta545]

Yeah, I just checked out the Mature Men forum regarding this subject matter. It was quite interesting. MySpace can get quite tricky. Yes, Kage, I agree. It is very time-consuming, but I just want to try it out. I'll try to get a couple of numbers here and there so I'll be good.

 

[delta545]

So I sent her a brief message on MySpace asking how's her weekend. She responds the next day and she gives me this paragraph on what she did and stuff. That was surprising. But she did not mention about the voicemail message I left her. Hmm, that's pretty sketch fellas. I'm not sure about this girl.