LearningSlowly's College Pursuits

[LearningSlowly]

No one realizes I have cut back. I know I drink too often, but I don't drink too much at once. I don't black out, I don't throw up, I don't get hangovers.

I have friends that see alcohol as liquid fun. If they want to have a good night, they split a 18 pack between 2 or 3 people. If they want to have a better night, they split a 30 instead. I don't believe in that, so I am one step in the right direction. Before too long, I'll stop wasting my time on drugs. I just need to get there on my schedule.

I still drink guys, but I will quit it. Just give me some time to get into good habits of diet and exercise, I expect my habits to get better as this journal continues. I'll post again tonight.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Worked out today. Started with upper body but I felt like I pulled my shoulder so I turned it into a HARD running day. Fast pace, good distance.

Ate twice, not 3 times. Drank about 6-7 beers to go out tonight. Parties were uneventful. Met random girls in our hall. Smoked a little one time.

 

[LearningSlowly]

To touch on the alcohol thing. I'm wrong, I know it. But just let me be wrong for a little longer, I'll get over it. Didnt drink today. Did buy weed those so smoked more than usual.

Started my day with a work out. Didn't want to go lift, figured I'd keep resting my shoulder, so I ran the 3 big flights of steps behind my dorm 8 times. Felt ok doing it, but slid a little down a hill later and my thigh cramped up. Feeling like im getting more hurt than just soreness. I probably need to stretch more and I definitely need to drink more water.

Ate 2 solid meals and a protein bar after.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Today didn't drink, smoked a good bit, worked on art in class. Didn't work out. Not my most productive day, too much class on Mondays.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Smoked a bunch. Ate 2 good meals and a protein bar. Didn't drink. Didn't work out even though I should have. Worked on art for half an hour to fine tune my project.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Ate 2 meals. Smoked too much but didn't drink. Didn't work out, no excuse for that, have to restart tomorrow. Worked on art for a good bit of time. Got a C- on one art project but I deserved it. My next one is hopefully an A project.

 

[ohbe]

Would you mind posting pictures of your artwork? Thanks.

 

[LearningSlowly]

The last 2 days haven't been positive. Drank both nights (about 5-6 a night) and didn't work out. Restarting my commitments today.

I have a roommate who you may consider a bad influence. He's overweight and enjoys video games and weed. He's funny and a good guy, but doesn't draw ladies in either. I find myself drifting with him, and not having as many friends who inspire me to improve. Any advice?

Ohbe ill send you some photos over Facebook

 

[LearningSlowly]

Worked out today, smoked some but didn't drink. No work on artwork so unproductive in that way. Ate 2 meals. Will be starting a no fap challenge to test my self mastery.

 

[apocolipto]

I find it really hard to not masturbate, because I'm back to smoking daily to eat more for my bulk and I'm extremely horny when high.

 

[AlexLefty]

The last 2 days haven't been positive. Drank both nights (about 5-6 a night) and didn't work out. Restarting my commitments today.

I have a roommate who you may consider a bad influence. He's overweight and enjoys video games and weed. He's funny and a good guy, but doesn't draw ladies in either. I find myself drifting with him, and not having as many friends who inspire me to improve. Any advice?

Ohbe ill send you some photos over Facebook

It's hard to find self mastery. It sounds like you're kind of just drifting. My productivity usually waynes, similar to a sine curve, however it is as a whole moving in a vertical motion.

Sounds like you need to get some of your energy back. Mssg me on fb if you want more.

 

[Gripped]

I just binge on motivational videos. Although I recommend not to over use them as they can lose meaning-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Obo6xCAHIG8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYKsbld6LII&feature=related

 

[AlexLefty]

I just binge on motivational videos. Although I recommend not to over use them as they can lose meaning-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lsSC2vx7zFQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Obo6xCAHIG8
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYKsbld6LII&feature=related

Funny. I watched the 1st video after sleeping. Great video.

 

[DanZy]

I'll be honest mate, this journal is depressing. You seem constantly down, unproductive and keep making excuses. You need to change things

 

[LearningSlowly]

I'll be honest mate, this journal is depressing. You seem constantly down, unproductive and keep making excuses. You need to change things

Completely agree. Thats the mood that made me start this journal in the first place. This forum helped me get somewhere before, it can do it again.

Im on adderall now (10mg, low dose), I really like how it makes me feel. I wish I could feel like this all the time. I also wish I didn't need a drug to feel like this. I started conversations with strangers for the first time in a good while, just because it happened.

Yesterday I ate a lot, didn't work out. Leg still hurting, even when I'm laying in bed. It feels like a tendon that goes through my knee.

Going to the gym to film for an art project at 4, so I'll also work out then. Out of drugs and out of money, so I expect this week to be pretty sober.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Yesterday worked out, got footage for an art project. Ate plenty. Met a girl that ill be seeing again.

Today I'm going to see president Obama.

 

[AlexLefty]

Completely agree. Thats the mood that made me start this journal in the first place. This forum helped me get somewhere before, it can do it again. I don't think just writing your problems and hoping that inspiration and change will magically appear is the right way. you need to actively think about your life and how you're going to change.

Im on adderall now (10mg, low dose), I really like how it makes me feel. I wish I could feel like this all the time. I also wish I didn't need a drug to feel like this. I started conversations with strangers for the first time in a good while, just because it happened.

Yesterday I ate a lot, didn't work out. Leg still hurting, even when I'm laying in bed. It feels like a tendon that goes through my knee.

Going to the gym to film for an art project at 4, so I'll also work out then. Out of drugs and out of money, so I expect this week to be pretty sober.

^^^

 

[eastcoast15]

^^^

Agreed

Look at the patterns of your behavior and call yourself out. This journal could be a good way to identify them. But if you're not actively pointing them out and trying to change them then you're not gonna see any progress.

Also it might help if you try a little harder than recapping your entire day in one sentence.

 

[LearningSlowly]

Alex thanks, mostly for the talk on Facebook, it helped a ton.

Eastcoast, ill just say that the situation is not nearly as bleak as this journal makes it seem. I was using it to vent my frustrations and wasn't being optimistic.

Yesterday I worked out and got my video project done (people falling off the rock climbing wall). It was a little sloppy but there wasn't much I could do with a phone camera. I had a good night with some cool people. My leg still kills, it's making it hard to sleep.

The biggest discovery I'm making is that the most energy draining parts of our day are the ones we think are rewarding. Bad food and video games make you so much more lethargic than a run and some meditation and sketching.

 

[AlexLefty]

Alex thanks, mostly for the talk on Facebook, it helped a ton. Np dude

Eastcoast, ill just say that the situation is not nearly as bleak as this journal makes it seem. I was using it to vent my frustrations and wasn't being optimistic.

Yesterday I worked out and got my video project done (people falling off the rock climbing wall). It was a little sloppy but there wasn't much I could do with a phone camera. I had a good night with some cool people. My leg still kills, it's making it hard to sleep.

The biggest discovery I'm making is that the most energy draining parts of our day are the ones we think are rewarding. Bad food and video games make you so much more lethargic than a run and some meditation and sketching.

Now you're getting somewhere. Keep delving deeper into those thoughts.