Learning's Life Improvement Log

[lifeislearning]

Nearly 5 months ago I made a decision that impacted my life more than anything I have done before. Frustrated with my work, relationship, and personal development I took a risk for a life in a new state, a new job, and a new girl. I was so excited for the life I could imagine unfolding before me, the path that would bring me to the recognition of so many life goals. As the old adage goes: if things seem to be too good to be true, they are. When I arrived things began to unravel, and soon everything I had moved for was only a memory.

Life seemed dark for a time. I visited my former home, but time had passed and things were different; I no longer belonged there. Eventually I got a job, then another, rebuilt relationships with old friends, and began to challenge myself and explore my surroundings. I started talking to strangers and chasing my interests again, and I could feel the real me coming back. Still progress was slow. I had taken some major blows, and suffered a number of failures in a disturbingly short time period, while also leaving the place, people, and life I had come to love.

I'm tired of the sadness, the regret, doubt, fear. All bullsh*t. All feelings so strange to me especially in this magnitude and frequency. Life is short and we are all in the process of dying. I have so much I still want to accomplish, and if I don't get off my ass (and Netflix) I never will. I want to live a life I enjoy, a life I can be proud of. When I do that, everything seems to fall into place. Work comes easier, women won't leave me alone, hobbies and friends are constantly vying for my time, and the days are always too short. I want that back, and without a plan and dedicated effort I'll never get there.

So here's the plan. I wrote myself a checklist of things I want in my daily life; things like exercise, meditation, exploring a new hobby. I'm posting it on my wall and making every effort to follow it rigorously. I'm going to push myself daily to face a fear or press through a hesitation and chase my old fearlessness. I'm going to post my progress on here at-least 3 times a week. I'm going to expand my social circle and gain a group who can move as fast as I can. It's time to reclaim my life. Starting...now!

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Life is learning,
I find inspiration in your determination and resolution,you will do it...What's a couple of years?...If you live in a big City take up Dancing...really amazing what that will do for you!
"I'm going to post my progress on here at-least 3 times a week"...I for one will follow your struggles with great interest and encouragement...I think posting three times a week is perhaps too much...maybe once a week would be best,much meatier and interesting! Good luck Mate!

 

[lifeislearning]

Pros: fears faced, fun with strangers, new routines
Cons: not accomplishing everything on schedule, time squandered, missed an appointment

I'm definitely gonna have to update this a couple times weekly. Too d@mn much happens in a week.

Last week was quite a time for facing some fears. I accomplished a life goal and put together a short standup routine that wasn't bad at all for a first time. Gonna try some new material this week.

Went to a party that I was terrified I would find my ex and her current bf at. I knew nobody there, and after a few minutes said, "I'm gonna do whatever I have to to enjoy myself here."

And I did! Started talking to a gay couple (they're always nice, so good to start with), then a group of old ladies, then almost anyone I wandered near. Went to talk to a lil cutie who turned out to be booring, rude, and not worth the breath, but her two less-attractive friends were a lot if fun. We had a lot in common and I suggested we exchange numbers to chill again. Not for anything romantic, but I'm always a fan of girls who can challenge you to a chug off at a football game.

Decided to check on some people I met the week before and wouldn't you know it; they were having a party, and (easily) convinced me to stay. There I did get 2 numbers from girls I was actually interested in.

Had some ups and down over the rest of the week. The daily schedule is really challenging to maintain! Haven't had one day where I accomplished everything, though it has reminded me of what I think is important, and I've done a few things I wouldn't normally do. More work on it is needed.

One thing worth pondering was a group of artists I encountered at the party. The leader of the group was quite talented, but otherwise an unattractive @ss who lived in a trailer. And the people there WORSHIPPED him! Not only the ladies, but the men too! I thought, "How in the hell do I compete with this? If I insult him they will hate me, if I worship him I'm no different than all the other guys simply trying to validate the women." Thoughts?

 

[WC2]

Like you, I moved to a new city over a year ago. NYC is a big great place, but it can be lonely if you don't have a lot of people you know.

One thing that has really helped me is finding what motivates me. What motivates you? Is it recognition from others? Is it money and other material things? Is it helping others? Is it leading others around you?

For me, I'm at my best when I'm leading others and receiving recognition for hard work.

I've really taken this motivation to heart and I've put myself in a position in my professional life to lead others around me and help those that I can. When I'm doing this, I'm at my best and those around me automatically start to gravitate in my direction.

When you figure this out, you no longer put yourself in a position to feel like a Beta Male when other Males are present. Even if some other guy is the life of the party, you're aware that life is a marathon.. just not one race. In other words, any loser can be the life of the party on any given night.

A lot of people don't like to mix work with pleasure, but I'm the opposite. For me it's 100% necessary to love what I do, because if I don't, then I will never give 110% all the time. Does work mix in with pleasure? Absolutely. Do I still have fun when I need to? Absolutely.

So what motivates you?

 

[lifeislearning]

So what motivates you?

Question of the hour and something I've really been contemplating this week.

Got a pretty interesting job offer recently that would require me to shift my career focus, but I turned it down. Realized that my current work is by no means lucrative, but it is setting me down a path where I'll never have to worry about wealth or loving my job in a few short years. I've been making an effort to send a resume out every day, and I'm starting to get some promising hits. Feels good when people realize your accomplishments and potential.

Decided to hit the breaks on looking for ladies. I was getting 2-5 numbers per week, but I usually didn't care enough to bother calling. Decided to only chase that close when I really wanted it, though I'm certainly losing the post-breakup that urge to be with someone. I don't really care about chasing ladies anymore (and I've been around enough to know this is right where I want to be).

Had a few weak moments contemplating contacting the ex and resisted any action. The fog is breaking; things that were missing are recalled more easily and good memories are less scathing.

Went to a work function just hoping to meet a few coworkers, and was shocked when a little cutie told me to ask her out. A few weeks earlier I was checking her out, so it's a nice little turnaround. Had another contact through a client flirting pretty hard, and I certainly plan to ask her out soon. Ain't that how it goes: when you aren't looking the ladies come running. Funny thing is I don't care if neither one works out, I'm gonna have fun regardless.

Starting to see a path develop and I like it. Also noticing results are directly related to the daily effort I put in. That's just how I like it.