Learning to have fun

[ApocalypseCow2]

I have a problem that I'm working on. This problem may be very hard for some of you to understand, whereas others will know exactly what I'm talking about.

I find it hard to have fun.

Oh, I do things I like, and to me it's a good time. But it's very difficult for me to just "cut loose" at a party or bar or something.

I had a teacher once who said the biggest regret from his childhood was that his parents never taught him how to have fun (now, he's a pretty outgoing and "fun" guy). I think I have this same problem.

I was the oldest child, the one who studied, got good grades, and focused on "important things" like trying to get a good job and not screwing it all up. I've succeeded in that department. But now I want to work on other areas of my life. I need to learn to loosen up.

Yesterday, I was at a baseball game. Now, I was *WAAY* more comfortable than I would have been 3 years ago, but nonetheless, I found it very hard to act like the "fun" guys all around me.

I have been making progress. I laugh a lot more, I'm more talkative and braver with my humor. But I could use some advice if anyone here has been in this situation.

 

[Prophett]

liquid courage!

 

[comote]

The best way to be good with your humor is to say things to make yourself laugh.

 

[Life-Trainee]

Man, i have the same problem. I have to be obsessed to have fun. Alcohol sometimes works to loosen me up in that department but it's not a consisent method for me.

 

[Jay-X]

find funny friends (this is pretty difficult, but try), get down with alcohol on saturday nights, and most of all, don't give a sh1t about future... things that can ruin your life forever are a very few...

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Stop taking yourself so seriously.

 

[Life-Trainee]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Stop taking yourself so seriously.

If i actually knew what that meant...

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

"The world is like a ride in an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills and it's very brightly coloured and it's very loud and it's fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time and they begin to question, is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us, they say, "Hey, don't worry, don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride."

And we kill those people...

..Just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn't matter because, it's just a ride. "
- Bill Hicks (1961-1994)

 

[ApocalypseCow2]

Originally posted by Francisco d'Anconia
Stop taking yourself so seriously.

I don't take myself too seriously. In fact, I think most people see me as pretty happy and laid back. I'm just having trouble turning myself into the more sociable type of person I want to become.

 

[smoke city]

apocalypse, I do have some advice for you--lately, I've been trying to do the same thing. I believe I *used to be very social, but the past 2-3 years, my work has pretty much consumed me, and I realized that it will literally kill you if you don't eventually loosen up a bit. So--do you have a group of friends? or at least know a handful of people who might like to hang out? Send them all an email and organize either a day trip to do something fun (live near a beach?), or a night out at a trendy club or bar, etc.
the important thing is that you're taking control of your own social life, instead of waiting around for someone else to make your life interesting. Just do things YOU like to do and bring your friends into it...soon maybe they'll even look to you as the guy who can bring the good times...

I have been trying to do this stuff--bit by bit--and it has helped a lot recently...

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

First of all, what is your definition of having fun? you said "Oh, I do things I like, and to me it's a good time. But it's very difficult for me to just "cut loose" at a party or bar or something. "

Do you really want to 'cut loose,' havent you seen people that cut loose? to cut loose you have to get drunk, act like an idiot due to lack of judgement, have people laugh at you, think you're having a good time then when you wake up in the morning your head hurts from all the drinking.

 

[cohen]

Get out there and taste everything and everyone. Talk to whoever. Don't fear the outcome. Enjoy them.

 

[So Many Ways]

Originally posted by Jay-X
find funny friends (this is pretty difficult, but try),

This is really a big one right here. I've always had issues being overly serious and uptight but I've always sought out people who were the opposite of that, peole who were always having a good time and not giving a sh!t. I wanted their attitudes to rub off on me and it has over time.

I remember hearing a principle somewhere that goes something like this: if you want something, find someone who has what you want and learn how to get it. We've all heard the advice "make friends with guys that are good with women, that way you can see what it is they do and it will rub off on you". The same thing applies in your situation.

I know personally if I didn't have outgoing, fun friends, i'd still be stuck in my own head, being serious and uptight all the time.