"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Learning to dance - Salsa or Hip Hop classes?

aceofgrace

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What's up folks? Long story short, I feel like my inability to do anything other than some awkward shuffling on the dance floor is holding me back. If I'm currently living in a college town and expect to move to NYC in 2 years, which classes do you think I should take? My own view is that salsa is more of a partner dance, so I'll figure out the elements of leading (and perhaps a few moves to lead into). Hip hop has music which is much more popular in bars/clubs, though, and I'm likely to learn moves which will be much more useful. Thoughts?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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K2000kidd

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Not sure of the age group your planning too hit up but club/freak/grind dancing is where you wanna be in your 20's. Check out some hip-hop cds and maybe get a girl to help you out with the movements etc...
 

aceofgrace

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I'm in my mid 20's right now. When I move to NYC I'll be in my late 20s. I'll probably try to hook up with women around my age group, since 1) I have a hard time relating to women significantly under it, 2) I would rather try to have something steady than expend energy trying to get new women, and 3) I have the tiniest amount of romanticism still embedded within me.
 

loveshogun

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Learn both. It's not that expensive.

Salsa, you just need basics, and the rest you can learn while you're out.

Hip hop, if anything, requires more actual practice, I would say. You gotta find your flavor.
 

irocknike23

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Hip Hop=Basically your fvcking the girl on the dance floor with your clothes on


Half the time you dont even need to dance the girl will take you against a wall and just work you
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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aceofgrace

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loveshogun said:
Learn both. It's not that expensive.

Salsa, you just need basics, and the rest you can learn while you're out.

Hip hop, if anything, requires more actual practice, I would say. You gotta find your flavor.
I'm gonna probably make a pass at both, but I'm absurdly busy with school so I want to know which I should prioritize when my time gets short. I like the find your flavor argument, though. I might make this semester a sample platter.
 

loveshogun

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irocknike23 said:
Hip Hop=Basically your fvcking the girl on the dance floor with your clothes on


Half the time you dont even need to dance the girl will take you against a wall and just work you
I get the impression you've never actually taken a hip-hop class?
 

aceofgrace

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loveshogun - would you mind listing a few dance varieties you think would be worth trying out for a mid twenties guy? I'm in a small college town right now, so hopefully nothing too exotic otherwise I won't be able to find a place to practice it. Thanks a bunch.
 

loveshogun

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aceofgrace said:
loveshogun - would you mind listing a few dance varieties you think would be worth trying out for a mid twenties guy? I'm in a small college town right now, so hopefully nothing too exotic otherwise I won't be able to find a place to practice it. Thanks a bunch.
If you just want to do it as a way to meet girls, social latin dances like salsa, bachata, and merengue are a good place to start.

Hip hop class itself is tough, but you'll have no problem looking good in a club if you stick with it.

Tip: after you start learning how to move, don't *try* to show off. People can tell - especially anyone who has been dancing. Just move. That's all. All the best dancers - they're not trying to impress you. They just do what they do, because they already did all the work in the dance studio. In the club, it just comes out.
 

EvilAgenda

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Salsa, my friend, will turn you into a great lead. It's sexy. You display dominance by leading a girl through a breathtaking dance. It makes a girl wet.

The most popular dance is Merengue right now, and by learning Salsa you can dance the sht out of Merengue.

You can dance Merengue to hip-hop music, and you'll look far sexier on the floor leading a girl through a dance, then doing hip-hop moves. It takes a lot of practice to look good doing hip-hop.

And think about it for a moment, you tell a girl, hey let's dance, and then start doing your hip hop moves, and she is lost trying to keep up with you. On the other hand, you do merengue/salsa and lead her, and she doesn't have to think, she just follows your lead.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Maxtro

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My suggestion, first go to the clubs for each and see what kind of girls are there.

I'm pretty good at salsa but when ever I got to a salsa club, there are no single women. So it's pretty much a waste of my time. Salsa is also something you need to be pretty good at to make an impression on anybody. It's really easy to tell the difference between the guy who's been dancing for one class and the guys who's been dancing for 5 years.

Still, it's a lot of fun plus you're pretty much required to hold a woman the whole time you're dancing.

I just started taking hip-hop and it's primarily a solitary thing. You just do your own thing. They don't teach you how to grind in class :p
 

loveshogun

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EvilAgenda said:
Salsa, my friend, will turn you into a great lead. It's sexy. You display dominance by leading a girl through a breathtaking dance. It makes a girl wet.

The most popular dance is Merengue right now, and by learning Salsa you can dance the sht out of Merengue.

You can dance Merengue to hip-hop music, and you'll look far sexier on the floor leading a girl through a dance, then doing hip-hop moves. It takes a lot of practice to look good doing hip-hop.
I agree that salsa is very useful - it has its positives like learning how to lead and getting a girl to basically do what you want. . I've been doing it 8 years, in addition to competitive latin dance.

But, don't be so quick to discount hip hop. Hip hop has a whole bunch of different benefits - confidence, freedom, and it's a better workout. It also opens you up to being able to dance to a different type of music.

Finally, grinding is not hip hop. I feel like everyone here criticizing hip hop as a dance is looking at what random people who can't dance do in the club, and calling that hip hop.

And dancing merengue to hip hop music (unless it's latin hip hop) is like dancing ballet to salsa music - just doesn't make sense. I mean, if you wanna experiment, sure, no one will stop you.

Respect all forms of dance - try it before you judge it.
 

Vice

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EvilAgenda said:
Salsa, my friend, will turn you into a great lead. It's sexy. You display dominance by leading a girl through a breathtaking dance. It makes a girl wet.

The most popular dance is Merengue right now, and by learning Salsa you can dance the sht out of Merengue.

You can dance Merengue to hip-hop music, and you'll look far sexier on the floor leading a girl through a dance, then doing hip-hop moves. It takes a lot of practice to look good doing hip-hop.

And think about it for a moment, you tell a girl, hey let's dance, and then start doing your hip hop moves, and she is lost trying to keep up with you. On the other hand, you do merengue/salsa and lead her, and she doesn't have to think, she just follows your lead.
Salsa.

The quality of women that you find at salsa bars by far trumps the trash you find at hip-hop clubs.

Salsa is more sensual, and it also makes you a better leader. You also get to be in physical contact with lots of women, which is great for those who get nervous about that kind of thing.
 

aceofgrace

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Thanks for the insight everyone. I think I'm gonna roll through both and see which one suits me best. At the moment I'm leaning hip hop, but who knows how it goes?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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FairShake

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Hip Hop is far more popular and utilitarian. Do it first and salsa if you want to specialize.
 

Daddy The Pimp

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Listen, all these classes are good, but to dance in a nightclub, you dont need to take a class. Just learn to identify the beat and move to it. A nice instructional video is this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWOLVuQzCOs

You don't need to do all these moves that this dude is doing. All you have to take from that video is learning to identify when the beat snaps. Than you can move however you want. I do whatever i feel like, but in alignment to the beat and everything seems awesome.

The majestic DTP
 

f283000

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Salsa.

The quality of women that you find at salsa bars by far trumps the trash you find at hip-hop clubs.

Salsa is more sensual, and it also makes you a better leader. You also get to be in physical contact with lots of women, which is great for those who get nervous about that kind of thing.
THIS!!

The thing about salsa is that it could be considered more than just a dance but another self improvement tool for men (like working out, taking public speaking classes like toast masters etc).

In Salsa you have to lead your partner, you have to touch her, you learn balance, movement, rhythm among other things.

You build confidence because you are constantly kinoing women, constant touching them, leading them on the dance floor etc. Any guy that's afraid of women will come out super confident after taking dance classes specially salsa.

If you search any pua forums you will see guys rave about salsa and how easy it is to meet women if you can dance salsa. Some say taking salsa or any dancing class is better than going to the clubs to pick up chicks.

I'm a beginner salsero myself and I can tell you it is not hard (this coming from a guy with no rhythm like myself). I highly recommend it.

But don't do this to pick up chicks do this to improve yourself, learn a real dance (not what you do in clubs anybody can grind on a b|tch). That was my main motivation.
 

irocknike23

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loveshogun said:
I get the impression you've never actually taken a hip-hop class?
class? no

danced to hip hop with girls at club? yes


honestly who takes classes its not that hard
 

iqqi

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OP, the most important thing you can do on the dance floor is move with a woman.

I'm a great dancer, and I usually dance alone because most men don't know how to dance. If a guy comes up and tries to grind on me, that's not attractive. Or if he starts busting out some hip hop moves, or some footwork, it's not that awesome.

However if I am moving to the beat, in a sensual way, and a guy is able to come up and start moving with me, that is very sexy. I think the sexiest thing a guy ever did was follow me to the dance floor, get behind me as I started to move, and he really just followed me, but in a consuming way, if that makes sense.

The most awkward dance partner I ever had was a professional tango dancer. He only knew how to lead and tango! Sure, doing the tango to "Love Song" by the Cure is sort of hot... sort of. It for sure gets old by the third non tango song.

As far as classes go... they actually will help. you'll learn all kinds of ways to move your body, so once your body is able to identify the beat, and you add in some sensuality, all the things you learned in classes will come out naturally.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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