Learning experience.. wondering whats next

[Londonman09]

Posted couple months about a coworker with a bf who was coming over for dinner... well I followed my instincts.. the advice on here and we ended up sleeping together. Midway she stops kissing me and says "you weren't suppose to **** me" .. of course she doesn't stop ahaha. Fast forward through two months of sleeping together... even a couple of times in some pretty high risk places.. But this is where I lost my cool and showed I was not a "DJ" .. I told her I wanted to be with her. ****. what was I thinking. Now of course she smiled from cheek to cheek and told me she was thinking the same thing.. but the excuses about her bf came out, about needing to talk to her mom, about going on vacation and wanting to wait until after that. Dumb me.. thought.. well I've had "one-itis" for this chick for 12 months.. whats waiting a few months to see if it happens.

Of course it didn't. She wants to stay with the Bf.. feels guilty. Knows he is not the one, but says she is not finished with the relationship. Wouldn't have left him if I wasn't in the picture so its not fair to leave him for another person. She says... I find you extremely attractive.. I have problems behaving with you... but I cant right now. Bad timing. Asked me if in 6 months, a year.. if shes single if I will give it a go. This is where I grew a pair again.... and responded that by then I might be with someone, I might not feel the same... so I had no clue. She wanted to talk hypothetical, and I said there is no point talking about a future if you are with your bf. So she wants me to wait.. but wont ask me to wait directly. Women!

So now... I'm at a cross roads. I know I shouldn't hold out any hope.. and just move on (have a date tonight.. so trying) but the loser in me says that she will come back.. but my gut says shes just trying to cover the fact that she cheated and come out of this as a "good" girl.. and had no intentions from the get go of leaving her bf... just liked the attention. Anyone have any experience with this kind of thing.. and had the girl come back? Where you even open to her coming back?

 

[Drdeee]

Don't be a looser! She cheated once she'll do it again, and again. She's a *****. Beat her at whoring, fak her friend.

 

[Borknagar]

Pretty much dude, she cheated with him, she'll cheat with you, nuff said. MOst chciks are good for a lay that's it, even more so in situations such as these.

 

[women haze]

How do guys get themselves in these situations?.....you won't listen though you will stay with hope that she chooses you.

I say look elsewhere

 

[The_411]

Here's the deal when a woman cheats it's like a sub-reality to her. Sure, she's cognizant of what's happening but for her it's a fantasy. She wants to stay enmeshed in that fantasy and as soon as the fantasy cracks she will bolt. You saying something about getting serious cracked the fantasy and she woke up and realized that there was some real feelings on your part and she didn't want that.

Not to mention she lost her respect for you when you said you wanted to get serious with her because she had no respect for herself so by extension how she can respect you if want to be with someone who doesn't respect herself.

It's the self-loathing ***** complex. She will naturally gravitate to guys who treat her poorly becuase she doesn't feel she deserves someone of value.

These women are easy lays but not long term material.

When a woman says she's dated a bunch of a-holes it means a) she will gravitate to a-holes and b) her ability to filter out a holes is next to none or none.