Learn from my epic fail

[Greasy Pig]

Been with my LTR for 18 months. We have our ups and downs but she's a good woman who complements me and my life.

Anyway, tonight I made a funny comment via text and she wrote back saying how funny I am and "how the hell you stayed single for so long is beyond me."
I told her I was very happy to be single until a great girl like her came along.

She replied: "Whatever you say."

This is no excuse but I'd had a rough day at work and I stupidly took offence at what I felt was a contemptuous dismissal of my genuine compliment.
So I called her on it and told her there was no need to be so rude.

In hindsight, I should've just made the decision to stop giving her compliments. A man doesn't speak, he acts and I failed spectularly in this regard.

Hopefully you guys can take some advice from this and not make the same mistake. I let my emotions get the better of me and lowered my value by coming off like a whining little bytch. Stupid, stupid idiot.

 

[betheman]

Ive read that twice and Im still looking for the epic fail. seems to me like you are putting too much pressure on yourself

 

[Groverz]

You are beating yourself like I do. It's to easy to go to the negative of things. One reason why I am starting to dislike texting is context can be lost very easy.

 

[Greasy Pig]

I should've just stopped complimenting her instead of complaining about her reaction to my compliment.
I think I failed because I verbalised my displeasure and sounded like a whiner.
If I'd just stopped complimenting her, one day she might've said: "You know a compliment every now and then would be nice".
And then I could've said: "Well you act so negatively when I give you compliments that I figured you were the type of girl who doesn't need them."

I think that would be a better way to have handled it.

 

[Colossus]

I think you are blowing it out of proportion.

Plus, I don't think not complimenting her at all anymore is a good solution. She'll have no idea why, then start to get all weird about it. She probably just brushed your compliment off because she doesn't believe she is so "great".

 

[SecondHalf]

Minor slip up, not a major fail.

When you want gratitude for your compliment, it's an indication things are getting a tad out of balance. Sometimes, you don't catch yourself and respond (like you did, like I occasionally do).

Just withhold the compliments until the balance returns. Doesn't sound like its far off, just a little.

It's what I do and it works. Even if they hold back wanting that pedestal, out wait them. In the end, they always cave (unless the pedestal is all they will except - then well, you know where this is going ...).

SH

 

[Married Buried]

Ive read that twice and Im still looking for the epic fail. seems to me like you are putting too much pressure on yourself

He did not post what he said. All he told us was he wasn't happy with her answer and he "called her out". What exactly did you say?

The "whatever you say" line is just showing her self doubt. You said she is a great girl, she said "whatever you say" like she doesn't believe she is that great. It's just her low self esteem showing so I agree it was a fail to call her out.

 

[cordoncordon]

You failed by throwing a mini hissy fit when she made the self deprecating comment about her own person. You took it personally when there was no reason to. She was dissing herself.

You did not fail by throwing your ltr a genuine compliment.

 

[Driggs]

If that's what you call epic fail I envy you.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear GP,
We are a bit fragile mate aren't we?.....Some other source of stress has created this problem...You are making a Mountain out of a Mole Hill,there is nothing to get upset about....
But Mate,""how the hell you stayed single for so long is beyond me."
I told her I was very happy to be single until a great girl like her came along."......I can assure you she has read intentions into those words that you did not contemplate when you spoke them....ten months in and you are making a noose for yourself?Why?
I think you should take a break,consciously try and relax a little....all work and no play,make GP a dull little piggy!

 

[Jitterbug]

Storm in a C-cup, mate. Take it easy

 

[Greasy Pig]

Thanks fellas. I've slept on it and realised I was overanalysing.
But I learned a lesson.
She was very apologetic and said she loves it when I compliment her but she doesn't know what to say when I do.
I guess that's what I like about her: she's a good looking woman with a good heart but doesn't think she is.

 

[Albatross953]

Sounds like you're a lucky dude.