LEADERSHIP you absolutely need it.

Grey Fox

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Ever play a pick up game of football? Maybe you like to go to big tourney paintball games? Maybe you did the boyscouts, frat, or anything that required someone to be a leader.

Now you ever been in a group or seen a group where everyone is trying to be the king? Everything just falls apart, you lose the game, you get shot up with a lot of paint and lose the game, and you don't get your merit badges....... Its sad to watch and even more pitiful if your involved.

Hey it pays to be a leader. They get the job done, problems get solved and you feel real good about yourself and so do the others around you because something got done, and done well.

Sounds good right.......

Well what about your social circles, what about your dating experiences?

It pays to be a leader.

Everyone has had a bad date, if not you either are a liar or never gone out on one. Everyone at one point did not start out in the spotlight of attention when you were around your friends. And if you are not at least being active and leading somewhere along the way, your sitting down watching everyone leave you behind.

Date like a leader!

Know what you want to do! Call the shots, you want to see a movie, take her to a movie. You like mini-golf, its game time. You go clubing, tell her to get dressed up. Take the conversation where you want it to go, don't wait on her to ask questions. Thats on you. Its on you to talk about her, share experiences that you have in common.

Of course if you don't...

She'll be rolling her eyes, she'll complain. She will sigh and she will most certainly not want a second date. Try calling up a girl wanting a date and not knowing what it is you want to do. Try letting her take the lead. You will sit there and you will watch waiting for you to man up. When she sees you do not, well you can book another date with someone else on saturday night, because I promise you, you will be free that evening.

Be a leader amongst your friends!

Take an active interest in what they are doing and saying, don't just contribute and wait on them to do something. Do like the Romans did, offer them "Bread and Circuses" In other words get them to do things that will interest them, get them to go to different clubs, and do different stuff on the weekends. Watch those that already do this, you will see the eyes of others follow them. You will see people be drawn to them, no just the guys but women too. Because they see this guy is something special, he is not a sheep, he is doesn't sit in the background. He makes the social circle spin, what woman doesn't want a man who can do that and treats the limelight just like sunlight when day breaks.

Become a leader!

1. Take a greater interest in what happens.
2. Make desicions.
3. Make suggestions.
4. Take a risk and stand out, especially when you have something to say.
5. Don't wait for oppurtunity, make oppurtunity.
6. Practice by doing. No one is born a leader, they all stumble at first then they take up the role after some experience by doing.
7. Confidence comes by doing.
8. Confidence comes by failing.
9. Confidence comes by succeding.
10. Think, Talk, Act with Indepedence.
12. Be friendly, sincere and understanding.

Note well that should you go around and bang your iron fists on the table demanding things and shouting orders that is not what I mean. Part of this is being able to be friendly in your manner, sincere with people, and of course subtle in how you move things. Temper yourself with understanding and compassion and be sincere. Nobody likes an arrogant busy-body barking orders. Look at your friends who do spin your social circles, see how they do it, the really good ones are interested in having a good time and bringing in their friends to do just that. But they never have to order, shout or demand.

Lead and take chances, you know when you are doing well when the eyes of others are upon you interested in you and what you'll do next!

-Grey Fox
 

GrowingPains

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Bump.

Was digging for gold and found this nugget.
 

stormrider

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Honestly I see myself more of a follower or collaborater than leader in my social circles even though I am a dominant guy and it's never hurted my status.

It's mostly because I couldn't care less if people end up meeting up at one bar as opposed to another. Or if everyone ends up at one person's BBQ over another person's. All social activities are inconsequential to me.

It takes a specific type of person to be the social butterfly/activity planner. I'm mostly brain dead when it comes to that stuff.

In fact it's usually a gay guy or beta orbiter who plans events and invites people in my circles. The masculine guys couldn't care less.

And it's usually beta cucks and gay guys who try to dominate every conversation.

The masculine guys are smoking cigars and drinking whiskey talking business somewhere while their girlfriends are busy getting validation and free entertainment from beta cucks and gay guys.

This post literally reads the opposite of what I experience in real life.

No masculine guy whos busy making money and spinning a harem of women is going to have the motivation to be the butterfly of social groups. Hes the guy who can't be bothered.

More power = least effort.

My strategy is the opposite. I show up and expect women to flirt with me. As soon as I feel like my presence is taken for granted, I leave. I make myself rare and almost unnattainable. I make women wait and guess when's the next time I will show up. And usually when they see me a second time months later, they are way more aggressive because of the uncertainty of ever seeing me again.

This is how it works in real life. You have access to social circles. But you are not some entertaining clown or gay activity planner. And your time is valuable and your presence must not be taken for granted.

Then after you've hooked up with a few women word of mouth travels and next thing know you become the go to guy that every woman hooks up with. But this guy is not the center of attention entertaining people. Hes more like the wolf hiding in plain site.
 

Spaz

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In socializing.

There are times when you need to initiate, pay for the whole night, it cultivates much goodwill especially when amongst men who are on par or above par.

There are times when you are invited out, some of which you can turn down with apologies while others you can't even when u r busy.

A good barometer to a social presence is getting invited out at least 3 x per week but by then you will be thinking about ways to avoid being invited.
 

stormrider

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A good barometer to a social presence is getting invited out at least 3 x per week but by then you will be thinking about ways to avoid being invited.
I don't know if this is considered "the law of attraction" or maybe people can just pick up on value through some energetic grape vine, but I have noticed that whenever I focus on myself (fitness, finance, etc) I get invited over 10 times a week. It's to the point where I end up rejecting 90% + of invites.

My inner completeness always correlates to the number of invites I get. This is why I am convinced that self love is the best thing a person can practice. When you value you, people value you. And everything just comes to you with no effort.

But it looks kind of woo woo so I stop short of preaching the magical powers of self love. I tell people they need to go out and develop a social life.

Buy honestly I don't even do that anymore. I literally live in a vacuum of my own self love and abundance always seem to find me even if I only leave a tiny crack open for something to enter my life.
 

Spaz

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I don't know if this is considered "the law of attraction" or maybe people can just pick up on value through some energetic grape vine, but I have noticed that whenever I focus on myself (fitness, finance, etc) I get invited over 10 times a week. It's to the point where I end up rejecting 90% + of invites.

My inner completeness always correlates to the number of invites I get. This is why I am convinced that self love is the best thing a person can practice. When you value you, people value you. And everything just comes to you with no effort.

But it looks kind of woo woo so I stop short of preaching the magical powers of self love. I tell people they need to go out and develop a social life.

Buy honestly I don't even do that anymore. I literally live in a vacuum of my own self love and abundance always seem to find me even if I only leave a tiny crack open for something to enter my life.
I'm at the point, for years now, where I'm apologetic for turning down most of the invites I get per week.

However I make it a point to personally call them and thanking them for the invites.

I mentioned 3x per week, it's how I ended up juggling socializing, anything more is just not sustainable, I and most men I know of has be burn out doing more.

But in some way u r correct, when u r focus on ur purpose, people will tend to gravitate towards you.

This is why I keep telling people to stop focusing on women, it just produces the wrong energy.
 

stormrider

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I'm at the point, for years now, where I'm apologetic for turning down most of the invites I get per week.

However I make it a point to personally call them and thanking them for the invites.

I mentioned 3x per week, it's how I ended up juggling socializing, anything more is just not sustainable, I and most men I know of has be burn out doing more.

But in some way u r correct, when u r focus on ur purpose, people will tend to gravitate towards you.

This is why I keep telling people to stop focusing on women, it just produces the wrong energy.

What would you say to someone who asks "but how do I know for sure if focusing on my purpose equals women?"
 

Spaz

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What would you say to someone who asks "but how do I know for sure if focusing on my purpose equals women?"
I really have no idea, truth is, I've never focused on girls or women even when I was in my teens.

They always seems to come in my way, sometimes irritatingly so.

From my days as a high school sportsman's to my days in the corporate world, women always seems to conveniently place themselves in my path.

I could be lounging around in the yatch club or in some establishment, alone, and yet some random women will come make small talk.

I've got no hypothesis except what I've personally experienced and thus all my post is actually a reflection of me.
 

sosousage

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In socializing.

There are times when you need to initiate, pay for the whole night, it cultivates much goodwill especially when amongst men who are on par or above par.

There are times when you are invited out, some of which you can turn down with apologies while others you can't even when u r busy.

A good barometer to a social presence is getting invited out at least 3 x per week but by then you will be thinking about ways to avoid being invited.
lol thats too much
 

Spaz

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lol thats too much
3x per week?

I've been doing it for roughly 15 odd years, order/pay for a few rounds of towers (beers), make some effort to ask how's everyone's day, then loosened everyone up with some jokes, then talk business, then make some small talk on geopolitics, women, best places to eat with sexy waitresses, best hotels to fvck...followed by more laughter and it's mission accomplished, its then time to call it a night.

That's how you build relationships when socializing.

And the best part, it's all doable within 2 hours at a bar or club.

6 hours a week socializing is easy considering that some men are wasting their time playing video games or chasing women on Tinder for 6 hours per day.
 
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