LDR Break up

[Remulak]

Ok, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years (1.5 LTR, 6 months LDR) just broke up about a 11 days ago. I broke up with her during a huge fight. The next day i realized I had acted too quickly and tried to apologize but she acted very indifferent towards me.

She hasn't contacted me since the break up except for 1 text message, I called once and told her "I loved her and it was my fault." ( I KNOW HUGE MISTAKE) Basically said we weren't together anymore but may want to try it again in a month when I move back to school by her. Said she was confused and wanted to be alone. She was supposed to come up for my brothers graduation, the night before She texted me "should I come?" I said "If you want" she didn't respond so I called no answer. Today I texted "wish u were here." her response "I'm sorry." (after 45 min) basically sent her a text back saying I'm threw trying to call you, all I get is an I'm sorry?. I looked at her facebook status and it said "Amy is annoyed." like 15 minutes after I sent that last text she didn't respond to. My question is have I already messed up too much to pull a no contact and possibly get her back? If I stop contact now is there any shot left or is the damage done? My emotions got the better of me in this situation.

 

[KontrollerX]

Just move on to chicks in your area dude.

A breakup is definitely hard but LDR's are a completely worthless exercise in frustration and hurt feelings.

After some time passes if this person meant something to you, you could possible re-kindle a friendship but if it would be too painful for you to do just leave her in your past and never go down this LDR road ever again.

And yes you fvcked up beyond belief and there is no saving or turning around this situation.

 

[Remulak]

I see where you're coming from but I'm moving back to school near her in a month. You think I honestly did that much damage?

 

[KontrollerX]

I do.

Though there are always exceptions.

Your strategy moving forward considering you have given new information about moving close to her again for school is this...

You have already apologized and done all of the no-no's so now the ball is in her court.

If you meant anything at all to her she will be the one to reach out to you.

So yeah no more trying to contact her unless she contacts you first.

And thats it, thats your advice.

Also if you meet a better girl in the meantime at the school go for her.

You can't wait around in life hoping a situation turns around in your favor.

You have to be in the moment and take the sure thing and not the what may have been or the what possibly could happen.

Edit: Since you seem to move around a lot I'm thinking maybe you should consider whatever chicks you hook up with while at this school "flings" which means you just fvck them and hang out with them when you need companionship but do not emotionally invest in any of them.

Only emotionally invest in chicks that you regularly live close to.

 

[Remulak]

I do.

Edit: Since you seem to move around a lot I'm thinking maybe you should consider whatever chicks you hook up with while at this school "flings" which means you just fvck them and hang out with them when you need companionship but do not emotionally invest in any of them.

Only emotionally invest in chicks that you regularly live close to.

This LDR was very emotionally draining so I'm going to take your advice on that. It's not that I even really want to get back with her that much I just feel like I caved and went AFC, I didn't want to give her that satisfaction. I just hope I can still be the one to end up with the power...

 

[Prodigy746]

Good god you would figure a person with 270 posts would not be making this kind of mistakes. I called her and apologized and said it was all my fault and i love you and called/texted 20 times in 2 hrs.... what should i do?


No wonder she doesnt want your needy ass. I suggest reading the bible again and becoming a man.

Sorry Truth hurts.

 

[Remulak]

Prodigy I see you've been here since 2007 so you think you're a know-it-all. When you're in a LTR, you sometimes become emotionally weak and make AFC mistakes that override logic. Am i proud of it no but its a learning experience. And for the record, there was absolutely no begging, I merely apologized for the break up which was one 15 minute convo, you're allowed to bend some of these rules when you've been in a LTR for a couple of years buddy. I had an AFC relapse, I thought I new it all (just like you) a couple of years ago I was on top of my game.

 

[BadBoyJake]

Ok, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. Me and my girlfriend of 2 years (1.5 LTR, 6 months LDR) just broke up about a 11 days ago. I broke up with her during a huge fight. The next day i realized I had acted too quickly and tried to apologize but she acted very indifferent towards me.

She hasn't contacted me since the break up except for 1 text message, I called once and told her "I loved her and it was my fault." ( I KNOW HUGE MISTAKE) Basically said we weren't together anymore but may want to try it again in a month when I move back to school by her. Said she was confused and wanted to be alone. She was supposed to come up for my brothers graduation, the night before She texted me "should I come?" I said "If you want" she didn't respond so I called no answer. Today I texted "wish u were here." her response "I'm sorry." (after 45 min) basically sent her a text back saying I'm threw trying to call you, all I get is an I'm sorry?. I looked at her facebook status and it said "Amy is annoyed." like 15 minutes after I sent that last text she didn't respond to. My question is have I already messed up too much to pull a no contact and possibly get her back? If I stop contact now is there any shot left or is the damage done? My emotions got the better of me in this situation.

I've been there man. LDR do not work. Move on to women closer to where you live.

 

[WC2]

Prodigy I see you've been here since 2007 so you think you're a know-it-all. When you're in a LTR, you sometimes become emotionally weak and make AFC mistakes that override logic. Am i proud of it no but its a learning experience. And for the record, there was absolutely no begging, I merely apologized for the break up which was one 15 minute convo, you're allowed to bend some of these rules when you've been in a LTR for a couple of years buddy. I had an AFC relapse, I thought I new it all (just like you) a couple of years ago I was on top of my game.

Hey bud, you are what you are. Some people will criticize you on the forums and it's something your going to have to live with. Ultimately deep down you know your strengths and weaknesses and you know what needs to be done to cater to them.

While criticism may be harsh, it's also eye opening whether you want to admit or not. Sure we've all been in the position where we were very good at picking up and manipulating women and then fell down the tubes after getting comfortable in a relationship. It's natural. With that said, it's still a huge mistake. Not only does it affect your emotions negatively, but if you don't learn from it, then the whole relationship is was a waste of your time.

Guys look back on relationships and are thankful for the good times and so on, but what they should really be thankful for is that reality check that this heart ache has put into motion for them. This is your #1 opportunity to grow and become the man you once were, but better. I've seen too many men crawl out from the tubes of a bad LTR, just to fall back in again a few months down the road (including myself). Understand that no one wants to see you there!

I understand that you made a mistake, but the best way of coming to terms with that mistake is first approaching it head on with an open mind. When you finally mend your mistakes is when you can start believing that there's no improving left to do-- thankfully however, there's always room for improvement; even for the greatest DJs.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

as already said - DO NOT make anymore contact until your back at school in her area.

When your back at school, sure ask her how things are, but dont expect anything, and in the mean time if something better comes up with a lady - take it !

If she still likes you, she'l make it clear, but be weary it may be a long process even if she does.

 

[Remulak]

WC2, I appreciate the input. I realize the error of my ways and making some AFC mistakes. I know we all have a long ways to go and can always develop ourselves more. I haven't contacted her and have been channeling my frustration into the gym and developing myself. I unfortunately don't know a lot of people where I'm living now but when I move back to school, I will be taking full advantage.

Pectoralis major, also thank you for the comments and support. I haven't been on this site for months, I thought I knew it all, thought I was too good for this stuff. Then I saw myself sliding...I made a promise to myself NOT to contact her under any circumstances unless she initiates contact. My gut is telling me to move on, however maybe use her as an FB if she comes back. I know the old adage, "living well is the best revenge."

I feel like my social life has been lacking while I've lived away from school. In this last month before I go back I want to make some improvement but don't know where to start. Advice needed please, I know this may sound obvious but I've been out of the game for nearly 2 years...

 

[Remulak]

Background:

I broke up with my girlfriend after a huge fight a couple weeks ago. The next day after the break up I apologized and tried to make things better. It seemed like we had a chance of getting back together but she eventually went completely cold on me and started using "I'm confused" and "You can do better than me" phrases which I know are bad signs. She hasn't initiated contact with me one time in this 2 week period after the break up.

Update on my situation:

It's been a week since the last time I sent her a text message. She hasn't tried to call or text me once. I'm in shock guys, I feel like calling her so bad but I know it won't make the situation better. I tried to apologize to her and make things better but she doesn't seem to want anything to do with me now. I really need some support guys, talk me out of calling her, this no contact is driving me crazy.

 

[KontrollerX]

Do not call her.

It will not fix anything and you will feel like a fvcking idiot afterwards fully knowing you gave her undeserved validation of her self worth.

There is also the possibility she could talk to you for a while on the phone and draw the conversation out about all of your faults in the relationship and as a man and slyly manipulate you into agreeing with her about this because it would be implied that if you admitted to being the sole reason for the relationship's ending she would then get back together with you.

Again she will not and if she does this it is merely a way to stick it to you for hurting her and you will be thoroughly humiliated damn near beyond recovery.

Don't do this.

Control yourself.

Stop now before you do something you will regret for a very long time.

Cease and desist!

Do not pass go, do not collect $200!!

 

[Remulak]

Thanks kontroller, i'm fighting the urge, i wonder how she has the restraint to go this long with out talking its killing me inside. I refuse to call her though.

 

[Rhoto]

I refuse to call her though.

Refuse to think about her Bro.

 

[Remulak]

Refuse to think about her Bro.

I'm going out tonight, maybe I can meet some girls to take my mind off her.

 

[AKA FLEX]

What did the barber say? "NEXT!"

LDRs are for the birds at your age. You're in your sexual prime, and it's hard to get laid from several hundred miles away. Find some chicks nearby and hop on them.

 

[Remulak]

What did the barber say? "NEXT!"

LDRs are for the birds at your age. You're in your sexual prime, and it's hard to get laid from several hundred miles away. Find some chicks nearby and hop on them.

I'm moving near her in exactly 1 month, that's the part the F's with my head. And no i'm not moving near her because of her it's because of school.

 

[Axcell]

Do not call her.

It will not fix anything and you will feel like a fvcking idiot afterwards fully knowing you gave her undeserved validation of her self worth.

There is also the possibility she could talk to you for a while on the phone and draw the conversation out about all of your faults in the relationship and as a man and slyly manipulate you into agreeing with her about this because it would be implied that if you admitted to being the sole reason for the relationship's ending she would then get back together with you.

Again she will not and if she does this it is merely a way to stick it to you for hurting her and you will be thoroughly humiliated damn near beyond recovery.

Don't do this.

Control yourself.

Stop now before you do something you will regret for a very long time.

Cease and desist!

Do not pass go, do not collect $200!!

+1.
Re-read this post and do exactly what he days. I was in the EXACT same situation as you a little while ago, and I made the big mistake by not doing what he said above.

It's all true - you REALLY need to just move on and shut her out. I remember that when I got into a big break up after a LTR, I called her back, which only made her become the "prize", and I decreased my own self-worth by looking desperate. As a result, she started playing mind games with me, etc.

Do yourself the favour, spare the drama.