Layers of desperation

[So pimp its scary]

When I first came here, I was a complete AFC... like to the point of sadness, not even to the point where you'd just laugh at a guy for being a chump.

Because of that, I naturally had gone YEARS without a date. I was completely desperate when I found this site, which turned that desperation into a conviction that things had to change NO MATTER WHAT!!

I learned about the game, and eventually started getting more and more dates, and more and more action. To the point where it seems that anytime there is any sort of challenge presented I end up getting laid that night.

In all this, I've found the numbers of women I've hooked up with skyrocket over the past 2 years, but without a relationship to go along with it... then came a time a few months ago where I met this girl that I fell into this oneitis with... I was still dating other girls, but I only really wanted this one... but she would never have dated me seriously either way.

I snapped myself back awake once she started asking me for these favors and I just shook my head like "WOW... how did I let this happen??" I felt like I had returned to a level of desperation again... but not the same sick desperation of not having ANY options, more like a desperation of I've been with so many women, now I just want to settle down...

I caught myself doing some of the same things in different ways, my attitude was right (for the most part), the words were all there... but something about my voice tone and body language had faltered again, I was projecting an aura of desperation to pull these girls I'm dating into a relationship.

Which is funny because that's when I noticed myself repulsing these women in the same way that I was before I even learned this stuff in the first place... that is for the women that I was attracted to enough to date.

I've been managing to turn things around by looking back to the roots of where I'm coming from and relooking at what my goals and aspirations really are, as well as the realization that for a relationship to thrive I had to maintain control of my emotions, or regain them for some situations.

Just posting this as a warning that there are different stages to the learning curve here... that you might get yourself to a higher level, but you have to keep an eye out for the same traps that had you as an AFC in the first place.

 

[Datawolf]

The reason stuff like this happens to even the most consumate DJ is that the techniques on this site are just that, techniques. Tricks and skill sets designed to help you make friends, influence people and get laid.

The key to completely avoiding all that AFC crap is to change your actual character. Most of the guys on this site appear to work on their surface behaviour, appearance, etc., while failing to address the deeply ingrained social conditioning and character flaws which permeate their entire being.

If you are a real man all the way down to the depths of your very soul, this sort of thing will never happen to you. If you're just another chump who looks, talks and acts like a real man you may see some success in the short term, and people who don't know you very well may think you're the man. However, the real you will always surface.

Understand that I am not trying to mock or insult you. I am simply pointing out that technique is never enough. In order to improve as an individual, you have to deeply examine yourself, face your flaws and weaknesses and understand how they affect your behaviour. Examine the core principles by which you live your life. And I don't mean the ones you tell yourself are your core principles.

If said principles are lacking, adopt new ones and truly integrate them into your character, not your personality. Then all the tricks and techniques will be unecessary. True manliness will be an aspect of your inner nature.

I believe it was Emerson who said: "What you are screams at me so loudly that I cannot hear what you say."

Happy New Year.

 

[So pimp its scary]

When I worked in sales, my manager would always say 'Take offense, but don't take offense.'

Meaning take offense because you're fvcking up, but don't take offense as in don't take it personally just fix it and move on.

I have to agree with what your saying, and although I did let myself fall into this trap, I instinctively knew how to pull myself out of it. Whereas a good selection of the guys here will likely not even recognize that there's a trap to lookout for long after they are stuck in it.

On a different note, you're also in Calgary??? What part of the city?

 

[StringShredder]

The game never stops. You could be married to her 15 years and turn AFC on her, and she will lose respect. Desperation is what it is, no matter what "step" you are at.