Lay Report: Too tight ass

[THA REALNESS]

Damn ,she must be a hoe her first time with you and men in general and she's taking it up the azz ..she must be freak..


Speaking of freak ,she must have freaked out with the sex stuff cuz that happens to alot of girls i phukked they where totally normal chicks and cool as hell with me but when i whipped it out they started acting nervous and they were acting as if it wasn't happpening or i just shot her father or something (maybe it's my magnum sized cack).So i understand all the excuses and the Hug close.(that's gonna be a new term here now ,you know that right!)

I would just use her for sex ,don't even date her anymore she sounds like an undercover slut. Just call her over to watch some movies or when you got some extra liquor in the house sh1t like that ,,,you already have her so don't waste time or money on her.


P.S. You gotta keep that condom lubricant handy!!And you KNOW when a women busts a nut !! You can tell just by looking...They sweat like a fukking gator-raid commercial and get their face gets redder then a can of Dr.Pepper. Right when they nut they start jerking like you just stuck an M_-80 in their cooch.It's something to see.

 

[Ice Cold]

Originally posted by Mr. Delicious
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA

hey Ice cold can use that in a signature

Cool ego boost for me.

Sure u can

 

[Evil-Rom]

Originally posted by Ice Cold
Cool ego boost for me.

Sure u can

I think he ment you could.

But anyways, that's gonna be my new sig!

 

[Bill]

Wow.
I, Bill, laughed at this. Laughed hard. Sides hurt. Man.

You did the right thing asking for advice.

1. Watch some porno movies;
2. Read about female anatomy;
3. Get some KY or the like;
4. Meet new women.

There you go. Best of luck.
Peace.

 

[DJ-Wladek]

Hey Vanilla, don't take it so hard... I remember my first time (wasn't that long ago, but before I came here). Your story doesn't even compare to the surrealness (and hilarity) of mine. If you want a good laugh sometime, send me a PM.

 

[Bill]

DJ-Wladek:

Please share with us that story of yours. I'm sure it could help some people out there, at least show them what mistakes to avoid. Thanks.
Peace.

 

[Jet Jockey]

Mack up on her. have KY close by....Hey that rhymes!! Woo hoo.

Seriously. She must be a freak is right. Well or maybe not. She might be in to you, but figured azz phucking was saving her virginity. LOL

Tell her you want a "redo" Have KY. make her kiss the sky, cuz your the anal guy!

Sorry sorry... you want a serious reply... hey am I on a phucking roll or what?

Just come back more prepared. If she won't, next. If she will alright then! whats to worry about? take it as it cums. LOL

You have to keep your sense of humor here. She is a piece of work



"All women become one or the other, either ex's or in rare instances, a wife. Try to stay away from the wife thing as longggggg as you can! I've heard the benefits are worse than your employers!"

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

first virgin that i heard of who was A WH@RE - only in america

 

[honeyshark]

Anal for a virgin is not that unheard of. I know several girls who never have vaginal intercourse, only anal, because they want to stay a technical virgin for when they get married.

Kinda bizarre in my book, and seems like a bs technicality.

Peace.

 

[bp1974]

Ok, I've stopped laughing.

First piece of advice: run away from this fruitcake chick as fast as you can

Second piece of advice: Next time if you're going to do anal, do it AFTER going into the p*ssy. DO NOT stick your c*ck up a girls ass and THEN put it in her p*ssy or you'll give her all sorts of nasty infections. I don't care how many condoms you were using, if you want to have sex after anal, take a shower first.

 

[dietzcoi]

So a woman who gets fvcked in the azz by 25 guys will still claim to be a virgin for marriage? What kind of super AFC would accept that from his future wife! WTF?

You young guys hear me: Don't get married!

Dietzcoi

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP
Okay so you really are a virgin whose first attempt is anal sex?

Dude your supposed to hit a HomeRun BEFORE you hit the Grand Slam.

And this girl is also a virgin who guards her vagina? How do you get up in there? Kung Fu?

Then to top it off she´s a narcoleptic.

Nice Lay Report!

Anal sex is a Grand Slam? I thought it was a Foul Ball Going for the wrong hole, you know

 

[InLawsHateMe]

As soon as she fainted on the floor.. I would have tried to revive her... by putting it in her butt... I would have done her from the front, the back, flopped over the chair, out the bedroom window, on the lawn, on my lawn chair, bent over the mailbox, on my neighbors car, you know what I'm saying?

 

[AMF]

1) Shes not receptive to your touch
2) She fakes orgasm
3) She wants to lose her anal V before her V
4) She lets you move your piece from A to V (filthy)
5) She doesnt give head
6) She complains sex hurts
7) She faints randomly

NICE package, wouldnt you say guys? Can I have her number??

 

[Chewy Bagel]

Truth is stranger than fiction, eh? God, that was funny...

This isn't a girl that you're going to keep around for a long time - just a high school fling of sorts. Just go back for some sex.

I recommend that you go back for seconds with some lube and some condoms handy.

I sure wish I was getting offered anal sex by my high school girlie you lucky bastage... Definitely try to get up in that again. You'll have awesome memories to jerk off to for life.

You will have a difficult time getting it into her azz and she may even cry or bleed. I'd keep going until she says no more

Don't quit her until you hit her in the shytter.

Cheers!

 

[[Rebel2]]

This is the best thread ever!

I would say, NEXT!

 

[Shot Callin]

Just had to bump this one, dudes girl went narcoleptic on him.

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

OK. I have never fainted during sex. But I will share an embarrassing story with you guys because you don't know me anyway, haha...

Yes, Miss Sexy Malibu has almost fainted during sex. Not fainted so much as PASSED OUT. I was extremely extremely drunk and had been laying on my back for a while with my legs in the air, so I guess all the blood went to my head or something. When I got on top, the room started spinning and I had to stop and lay back down.

Definitely one of my most embarrassing sexual moments ever.


Good thing I didn't know the guy (ha ha, I'm just kidding, I'm not THAT bad).

OK... now everyone can mock me.

 

[Legend]

this girl is no virgin....she lost her V card a long time ago.

Good thing I didn't know the guy

lmao....I always knew you were a dirty dirty lil girl=o)

 

[Sexy_Malibu]

Good thing I didn't know the guy (ha ha, I'm just kidding, I'm not THAT bad).

lmao....I always knew you were a dirty dirty lil girl=o)

Hey... I said I was just kidding... but yes... I guess I am.