"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Laughing at girls

R

Rubato

Guest
One thing I've been doing lately in my interactions with girls is just laughing at them. I've been reading The Book of Pook again and I've been exceptionally struck by his position on acting like a little kid - "charm is treating a girl like a child" or something like that. And I've been trying to do that. I think that paradigm is a big part of why these jerkish immature guys that most of us are 10x smarter than are so much more successful with women. It's because they still act like little kids.

Now, I'm still not quite sure how I can incorporate that in to my overall person whilst maintaining congruency. I'll have to figure that out as I go. But in my thinking about all of this, I thought back to when I was a kid and one of the things that I remember guys and myself doing all the time was laughing at girls.

I spend quite a bit of time laughing at this one particular girl I've been seeing and I think it's been working very well to my advantage. When she says something I don't understand, think is lame, dumb, or just strikes me the wrong way (and, she does say some funny things too) instead discussing or doing whatever I would have done in the past (ie, busting her balls for saying something stupid, asking her to clarify what she meant, ect... if you think about little kids, they don't do these things. They don't think on that plane of understanding... they just think wtf and laugh), I'll just smirk at her and/or laugh a little bit. I actually think this works better than the traditional "busting her balls" philosophy guys have... laughing at the girl is busting her balls (and breaking rapport), but in a nonverbal way that forces her to rationalize what's going on herself, since you didn't give her any language to explain your actions. And I think it's safe to assume that most girls will project their rationalization inward rather than outward. What I mean by that is they will assume the reason you are laughing at them is because they did something wrong and may even become insecure about it. As I've been doing this, the HBs look at me with a gaze suggesting I should explain myself, almost with a slightly nervous expression, and most of the time will even ask me why I'm laughing at them and begin to qualify themselves to me. And whether or not they start to qualify themselves to me, that reaction sets the stage for qualification or further qualification. Ie, "do you always say things like that" or, "don't you have a sense of humor", or "you know, I don't like girls who take themselves so seriously ;)", ect.

I think laughing at the girl conveys other things as well, specifically that you are not an uptight person (they don't laugh), you are enjoying yourself (people who laugh are usually having fun), you are comfortable with yourself (because why else would you laugh at this beautiful little thing?), and that you're dominant (your laughing is essentially calling her out on a faux pas she was not aware she committed. and you sir, had the audacity to bring it up!).

So, laugh at girls. Sometimes I don't have a lot to say anyways (which I need to work on). So I'll just laugh. Inevitably, that will prompt her to say something. that forms a new conversational thread.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Juan Don

Don Juan
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yeah i don't do the "busting her balls". i usually wait for the girl to laugh at herself first or give her the "i didn't see or notice that look" and then she'll laugh then i'll laugh.
 

SgtSplacker

Master Don Juan
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I have to agree. When you behave too rational it makes things a little uptight and not very personable. Sometimes if a girl says something strange i'll just look at her and jokingly say "you know, you'rrrre a little crazy sometimes" and laugh. They always just laugh and agree, many times the conversation turns so light hearted they don't even bother to correct themselves and just start laughing with me and talking about something funny that happned to them some other time or something. There is something that happens in a persons mind when you can break them from the "trying not to do something stupid" and begin the "it's cool to be silly" vibe. Next time she says something strange i'll say the same thing and we gain an understanding or familiarity of each other. I have always been one to use alot of catch phrases, ever since I can remember.
 
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