I've had a problem, not just with girls, but with all people in general, in the area of keeping a conversation going. I can do it for like 5 min, or even sometimes up to an hour, but does anyone else run out of things to say after that? Both me and the person I'm talking to get kind of bored, and I notice that even if I'm with a group of people for a really long time (more than three hours) I still get bored after a while. And let's assume that there's nothing interesting going on in the vicinity, only boring stuff. So talking about anything around us is ruled out. Any advice? Thanks.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Lasting Conversation
- Thread starter Izo
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
stalluproar
Senior Don Juan
Don't make it a goal to talk for as long as you can. Once you get to a good point on a topic, end it on an up note.
skinnydart
Master Don Juan
I have the same problem. It's like even if I go into a date with a few convo topics to talk about, those are used up before I even get to the restaurant, and then I'm kinda left trying to make up stuff to talk about, none of which lasts very long.
I think next time that happens, when they'res a lull in the conversation, I'm going to just take the opporotunity and through in the kino and see where that ends up. You know, just put my arm around her and give her a smile, she'll get the idea.
I think next time that happens, when they'res a lull in the conversation, I'm going to just take the opporotunity and through in the kino and see where that ends up. You know, just put my arm around her and give her a smile, she'll get the idea.
well a good conversation starter or topic is just to talk about old stuff that happened, reminisce a little...this always helps for me, and it gets good laughs, but be prepared that they may start talking about something you did that was stupid or funny, and make sure you laught it off like its nothing
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
I have the opposite problem. I meet someone new and set up a little coffee date, an hour tops. On average those dates last at least three or four hours.
The only thing that I can put my finger on is that I usually ask out women that are good conversationalists too. It's all about understanding whether you are going out with someone that you can easily talk to.
The only thing that I can put my finger on is that I usually ask out women that are good conversationalists too. It's all about understanding whether you are going out with someone that you can easily talk to.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Thanks for the advice. Maybe it's my attitude, so maybe if I don't focus on time at all it won't be as much of an issue. And yeah, now that I think about it there are some people I can talk to for a really long time and not get bored because they're good at it. I just don't know how to be one of those people.
Yeah you need to be thinking quality over quantity.
Quantity will grow from the quality.
You're young dont fret.
I used to not talk much, now I can hold some pretty nice convos, just takes practice.
Quantity will grow from the quality.
You're young dont fret.
I used to not talk much, now I can hold some pretty nice convos, just takes practice.
TonyTheTigerOI
Master Don Juan
Learn to tell a good story. Your conversations will never be the same.
Have you ever thought "man, the guy who does movie previews sounds really cool." I mean, that guy can say ANYTHING and make it interesting.
Its a talent, so practice it.
Have you ever thought "man, the guy who does movie previews sounds really cool." I mean, that guy can say ANYTHING and make it interesting.
Its a talent, so practice it.
I've had the same problem.
Tony, I do the same thing you told me...except I always go blank on stories when the time comes. I think I think to much. I'll probably use some kino in those silences like skinnydart said, before they become awkward. Any other new advice?
Tony, I do the same thing you told me...except I always go blank on stories when the time comes. I think I think to much. I'll probably use some kino in those silences like skinnydart said, before they become awkward. Any other new advice?
TonyTheTigerOI
Master Don Juan
New advice - tell more stories, damn it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Open her up. After everything a girl says there is something you can extend on and open her up with. This is the trick to making her comfortable and eventually talking about more interesting things. 
If you can get the girl to talk about sex without directly mentioning it you can throw in some C&F easily and more importantly, she will start considering you as a sexual being a bit more unconciously (Especially if you have been using kino) .
If you can get the girl to talk about sex without directly mentioning it you can throw in some C&F easily and more importantly, she will start considering you as a sexual being a bit more unconciously (Especially if you have been using kino) .
I-am-someone
Senior Don Juan
Interestingly enough, I was about to type up the same post an hour before you did, Izo. While typing up my post, I quickly came to the conclusion that the major problem was that all the people I talked to had nothing interesting going on in their lives.
Strangely enough, a lot of people around us have almost nothing interesting in their lives. These people don't hold up decent conversations because they haven't got a passion and they don't have goals or other interesting things to talk about.
As I was talking with these people, I kept on asking questions with sincere interest in their reply. Sometimes they'd start telling a story, coming to the conclusion it was too boring to tell. Most of the time they'd say "nothin' much, you?" and I'd begin telling an interesting story.
During our break, I started talking to some girl I know and am not interested in sexually (although I'm suspecting she is in me but that doesn't matter) and for some reason, everything that came out of her mouth was... well... boring. At the time I thought it was me, because I kept on creating silences in the conversation after making a joke about stuff she said or just making a comment about it. However, I realized it was her lack of interesting topics that was killing the conversation.
To have better conversations, you need to live a fuller life. You need to be active, experience things, be adventurous. When you live your life like that, conversations will come easy, because you can always at least tell someone something interesting.
Basically, it's the way all the good concepts of DJ's are:
Improve yourself and the rest will come by itself.
Strangely enough, a lot of people around us have almost nothing interesting in their lives. These people don't hold up decent conversations because they haven't got a passion and they don't have goals or other interesting things to talk about.
As I was talking with these people, I kept on asking questions with sincere interest in their reply. Sometimes they'd start telling a story, coming to the conclusion it was too boring to tell. Most of the time they'd say "nothin' much, you?" and I'd begin telling an interesting story.
During our break, I started talking to some girl I know and am not interested in sexually (although I'm suspecting she is in me but that doesn't matter) and for some reason, everything that came out of her mouth was... well... boring. At the time I thought it was me, because I kept on creating silences in the conversation after making a joke about stuff she said or just making a comment about it. However, I realized it was her lack of interesting topics that was killing the conversation.
To have better conversations, you need to live a fuller life. You need to be active, experience things, be adventurous. When you live your life like that, conversations will come easy, because you can always at least tell someone something interesting.
Basically, it's the way all the good concepts of DJ's are:
Improve yourself and the rest will come by itself.
TDOT
Don Juan
The thing I have learned is this: Women are so illogical. Really. When guys talk we like structured conversation. We like to talk about things that interest us and make sense at the same time. We like to talk about specifics and details.
Women don't care about any of these small nuances. They like to talk about broad subjects, anything, off the wall stuff to us. They like to jump from topic to topic. They really don't care about talking about their interests. As long as you keep the convo flowing; that IS the interest for them. It doesn't make any difference about what the topic is for them, they just like to talk.
When they say things, we try to analyze what they said and make something of it. Why? Because when we talk to other men or our guy friends we know that they are trying to tell of something of significance. But to try and make sense out of something specific that a woman said is usually plain useless because they didn't have a reason for saying what they said in the first place. As long as you are talking to them and they are talking back that's all that matters to them.
We kill ourselves trying to figure out what they are saying and this slows down our conversation flow. All we really need to do is keep talking.
That's why master sosuavers constantly remind us that it's always better to say something, anything rather than nothing. So it is important to be quick with responses and not be the first to just let the conversation die.
You always want to end the conversation properly by bringing it to an end gracefully and on a good note. And generally you want to be the one to do this instead of letting her do it. This subconsciously conveys that you are the one in control.
Women don't care about any of these small nuances. They like to talk about broad subjects, anything, off the wall stuff to us. They like to jump from topic to topic. They really don't care about talking about their interests. As long as you keep the convo flowing; that IS the interest for them. It doesn't make any difference about what the topic is for them, they just like to talk.
When they say things, we try to analyze what they said and make something of it. Why? Because when we talk to other men or our guy friends we know that they are trying to tell of something of significance. But to try and make sense out of something specific that a woman said is usually plain useless because they didn't have a reason for saying what they said in the first place. As long as you are talking to them and they are talking back that's all that matters to them.
We kill ourselves trying to figure out what they are saying and this slows down our conversation flow. All we really need to do is keep talking.
That's why master sosuavers constantly remind us that it's always better to say something, anything rather than nothing. So it is important to be quick with responses and not be the first to just let the conversation die.
You always want to end the conversation properly by bringing it to an end gracefully and on a good note. And generally you want to be the one to do this instead of letting her do it. This subconsciously conveys that you are the one in control.
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2c
Laterz...
Thats wherte the main probelm is... if YOU are going to be the one that has to keep on making the convo, then its hopeless, and u WILL run out of things to talk about... conversation is something that takes effort from BOTH parties, not just one.
Laterz...
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
assassin
Don Juan
ask better questions. don't allow her to answer her questions with one word. like yes or no. when she answers your question try to ask a question about her answer.
example,
you: so what did you do this weekend.
her: i went to the movies.
you: oh? what movie did you see.
usually if you stick to questioning like this, when things do get silent it's not an awakward silence.
peace
example,
you: so what did you do this weekend.
her: i went to the movies.
you: oh? what movie did you see.
usually if you stick to questioning like this, when things do get silent it's not an awakward silence.
peace