"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Large number of online flakes, why so many?

jackhamma

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I use tinder, pof, etc. and I meet a lot of women. I talk for a bit, get there number, chat for a few minutes and it seems to be going well.

as soon as I try to set up a date, they go ghost. some literally gave me there number and said lets get together! I text them, they respond all excited and then i ask when they are available and they vanish. Like 6 this week already lol it's crazy...why give me your number?

i am new to the online thing but am I better off staying off online sites and just game in the real world? I am very social and go out often so. what do u guys think? Why such a high flake rate online?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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apprenticedj

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Pretty much par for the course with online dating. As other advise on this site I would recommend using OLD as supplement to real life gaming, IE in bars, out on the town, daygaming etc. It's a great tool but it's too unreliable as your only source of prospects. At least you can better gauge interest when a chick is right in front of you in person.
 

pdx1138

Master Don Juan
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why so many flakes?

There are many more men then women online. It's a feeding frenzy.
They get tons of messages every day = options.

If they flaked, they found a better option.

Get used to it. But keep fighting the good fight. You lose most...but you win few, just keep trying.
 

gravityeyelids

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This is not them flaking on you for the date. this is you failing to set up the date in the first place. In my experience, yes women are flakey...but i haven't had much trouble setting up dates via tinder. Flaking once the time comes for the date....yes. If they have high interest and you don't muck it up...a lot of times you're good to go as long as you push for the meetup, and if you dont make any big mistakes or be real awkward....especially if you're physically attractive.

First off, work on your text/online game. Online dating game is extremely similar to texting game. In fact, most of it should take place via text because you NEED to transition to texting VERY quickly after opening them. I would say an average of like 10 messages back and forth, if not less, before you bounce to text. Once you bounce to text, you cannot pu$$yfoot around setting up the meetup. You have to assume that many of the girls arent going to go for it, so it's a complete waste of time sending dozens and dozens of messages to each girl. At that rate, you are never going to meet up. Establish JUST enough comfort via texting so that she knows you're not a creeper and feels relatively comfortable. If she's not feeling it, move on.

HOW YOU ASK them is important. As well as WHERE you are meeting them. I've found that, overwhelmingly, coffee dates are the absolute best. It's a low-pressure, public place. It's cheap so it doesnt look like you're trying to buy her way into her pants, unlike an expensive dinner or something. Meeting up for a drink is also an alternative.

When you ask them, it's normally not a good idea to BAM just come out with it. It's nearly always a good idea to both seed the idea early in the conversation as well as slip it in casually when you do ask her. Much like a kiss close, It should not seem like a sudden, big deal. It should merely be a natural progression in your getting to know her, with you as the confident man who has no trouble leading the interaction.

And if they're giving you their number and asking to meet up....be skeptical. First off, just like my dear mother said years ago, "if something is too good to be true, it normally is." They're often low quality and/or much less attractive in person. You should expect at least a little token resistance, unless you're looking for the bottom of the barrel. If they straight up ask you.... dont be so easy. Flip the script and joke around and act like you are the skeptical girl who's afraid of meeting up with a "rando" or a "catfish" because they might be a psychopath or a stalker or something.

Braddock's guide to phone and text game was a vital resource for me. highly recommended.
 

El Payaso

Master Don Juan
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Because it was merely a source of instant validation for them. They just want to make sure they've still "got it". Sad, I know.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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3agle 3yes

Master Don Juan
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I would listen to gravityeyelids if I were the OP...he's spot on.

I've only tried online dating briefly so I'm not an expert but in general never go on traditional dates.

Always make a meet up just that, be as reluctant as they are by insisting it's NOT a date...
 

skinnyguy

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Part of it is your game isn't tight enough, part of it is they are AW's who get off from the amount of messages they get
 
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