"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Ladies Advice, where are they on the site?
- Thread starter Pakwah
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Colossus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
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- 3,494
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Advice from women can be useful, fellas. You just have to know how to interpret it. More importantly, you have to know WHO to ask.
I find the best conversations I have with women are with real, genuine girls---like the ones who will go out and drink with you beer-for-beer, share your 8th grade humor, and genuinely LIKE men.
By and large though I do not listen to women's advice, because it's mostly contradictory rubbish that is totally counter to everything I've learned in being successful. Again, you just have to talk to the right women; and always draw your own conclusions.
PenKitten and LovelyLady have good insights here.
LOL at that MySpace post about "crying with her" and "telling her what makes you insecure". :crackup:
I find the best conversations I have with women are with real, genuine girls---like the ones who will go out and drink with you beer-for-beer, share your 8th grade humor, and genuinely LIKE men.
By and large though I do not listen to women's advice, because it's mostly contradictory rubbish that is totally counter to everything I've learned in being successful. Again, you just have to talk to the right women; and always draw your own conclusions.
PenKitten and LovelyLady have good insights here.
LOL at that MySpace post about "crying with her" and "telling her what makes you insecure". :crackup:
penkitten
Master Don Juan
no matter what intentions anyone has for you, they could be the best of intention in the world... if you are destined to end up here = you will.Pakwah said:
cosmo is a girls sosuave... however, they are so opposite that they don't meet in the middle, where they should.
so back to the real topic point...
she was probably only making conversation. since nothing else was really said, i would just chalk it up to that. no sense in worrying about it, since the conversation didn't lead up to anything else. you know?
if you have a child together, maybe she generally cares that you are ok or was getting a feel for what you are doing... but since the conversation didn't lead anywhere, i would leave it alone.
if she has any true intentions on anything else, she will make them clear.
otherwise she isn't interested.
See, going back to my original topic, if there are any ladies out there,can you make yourself visible so if we need the odd question from a ladies pov, we can. Im not asking that this place be over run with girls, just the odd one here and there to help us out. Thats all
WaterTiger
Master Don Juan
Okay! I'm here! What? What is the question you want answered?"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
Why women give bad dating advice.
Why would the prey teach the hunter how to catch it more efficiently?
The problem is most guys simply parrot the words women have told them over the years when they asked them "What do women want in a guy?" and then think it works since they got it from the horse's mouth. Unfortunately, too many guys, especially recently, have bought the same line women have been repeating for ages thinking it's a way to put themselves at an advantage when all it does is disqualify not only them, but the poor suckers who hear 'chick advice' from another guy and the cycle continues.
Honestly, I think the 'chick advice' phenomenon is a socio-evolutionary fail-safe mechanism meant to filter women's selection process of less desirable men from more desirable (competition worthy) men. Think about this for a moment - women almost uniquely own "relationship advice" in the media. There are a few notable feminized male exceptions (i.e. the Dr. Phils), but the ones who don't align their opinions along a feminine-first priority are tagged as misogynists and marginalized or ridiculed.
On some level of consciousness women know they're full of sh!t when they offer up the 'standard' chick advice this article illustrated. They know they're being less than genuine when they see this advice regularly betrayed by their own behaviors. Women (and now men) repeat in article after article of how well developed the female capacity is for communication, so it follows that they have to know to some, maybe subconscious, degree that they are being less than helpful if not deliberately misleading. Even the mothers with the best interests of their son's at stake still parrot these responses. It's like a female imperative. Why?
For the answer, all you have to do is look at the bios of single women on any online dating service. When asked to describe the characteristics they find desirable in a man, the single most common responses are confidence, decisiveness, independence. Traits that would require a man to be a man and have the foresight and perseverance not to take things at face value. The guy with the capacity to call a woman on her own bluff with a confidence that implies she is to be worthy of him rather than the other way around is the man to be competed for. Essentially the 'chick speak', 'chick advice' phenomenon is a sh!t test writ large on a social scale. And even your own mother and sisters are in on it, expecting you to get the message and see the challenge for what it really is.
Most guys are natural pragmatists, we look for the shortest most efficient way between two points. It follows then that if we want sex, and women have the sex we want, we ought to ask them what conditions they require from us in order for us to get it. The problem is that women don't want to tell us this, because in doing so it makes us less independent and compromising (and lazy) in our own identities in order to get at her sexuality. This is counter to the decisive, independent and masculine man they really want and is evidenced in their behaviors. He should know what women want without asking because he's observed them often enough, been successful with them often enough, and taken the efforts to make decisions for himself based on their behaviors, especially in the face of conflicting words. This makes him the commodity in the face of a constant contradiction of her own and other women's motives, words and behaviors.
Why would the prey teach the hunter how to catch it more efficiently?
The problem is most guys simply parrot the words women have told them over the years when they asked them "What do women want in a guy?" and then think it works since they got it from the horse's mouth. Unfortunately, too many guys, especially recently, have bought the same line women have been repeating for ages thinking it's a way to put themselves at an advantage when all it does is disqualify not only them, but the poor suckers who hear 'chick advice' from another guy and the cycle continues.
Honestly, I think the 'chick advice' phenomenon is a socio-evolutionary fail-safe mechanism meant to filter women's selection process of less desirable men from more desirable (competition worthy) men. Think about this for a moment - women almost uniquely own "relationship advice" in the media. There are a few notable feminized male exceptions (i.e. the Dr. Phils), but the ones who don't align their opinions along a feminine-first priority are tagged as misogynists and marginalized or ridiculed.
On some level of consciousness women know they're full of sh!t when they offer up the 'standard' chick advice this article illustrated. They know they're being less than genuine when they see this advice regularly betrayed by their own behaviors. Women (and now men) repeat in article after article of how well developed the female capacity is for communication, so it follows that they have to know to some, maybe subconscious, degree that they are being less than helpful if not deliberately misleading. Even the mothers with the best interests of their son's at stake still parrot these responses. It's like a female imperative. Why?
For the answer, all you have to do is look at the bios of single women on any online dating service. When asked to describe the characteristics they find desirable in a man, the single most common responses are confidence, decisiveness, independence. Traits that would require a man to be a man and have the foresight and perseverance not to take things at face value. The guy with the capacity to call a woman on her own bluff with a confidence that implies she is to be worthy of him rather than the other way around is the man to be competed for. Essentially the 'chick speak', 'chick advice' phenomenon is a sh!t test writ large on a social scale. And even your own mother and sisters are in on it, expecting you to get the message and see the challenge for what it really is.
Most guys are natural pragmatists, we look for the shortest most efficient way between two points. It follows then that if we want sex, and women have the sex we want, we ought to ask them what conditions they require from us in order for us to get it. The problem is that women don't want to tell us this, because in doing so it makes us less independent and compromising (and lazy) in our own identities in order to get at her sexuality. This is counter to the decisive, independent and masculine man they really want and is evidenced in their behaviors. He should know what women want without asking because he's observed them often enough, been successful with them often enough, and taken the efforts to make decisions for himself based on their behaviors, especially in the face of conflicting words. This makes him the commodity in the face of a constant contradiction of her own and other women's motives, words and behaviors.
I'm just sayin not every question that i want a ladies opinion on has to do w/the quickest or easiest way to sleep w/ a girl.
Not every post is from a guy who is tryin 2 b an ass, i like what fellow dj's have to say, i do, and i look for the girls with the no bull responses.
Like girls who have slammed the door in my face, all fiery, tellin me to get the **** out of the house, only to be cryin the very next moment, or that girls want diisagreements resolved, that they see problems sometimes as opportunities for closeness, with friends, or things like that.
An example i remember is an old Cathy cartoon where her car wont start...she calls her boyfriend to tell him that...she starts imagining...he will come over and be happy to see me...we can sit and talk and have hot chocolate...spend some time together, we can come together cuz of this....make the most out of it...all of sudden there is a knock at the door, its the boyfriend...'heres my car keys, ill catch a ride with dave, tow truck will be here in 30 min bye'
Anyways it went something like that, guys try to solve problems, women come together when faced with one.
Its that advice that i sometimes look for.
ya know if i was fighting with a gf, a female could say 'well most likely as soon as you left, as mad as she was, she probably sat down and cried, probably called her friends, was upset, and as soon as you walked back in, sucked up her tears, acted like nothing happened'
A guy may just say - aww screw it - she dont care...
I prefer this forum to be 99 percent guys, its why we are here, to escape the female, and come together, to help each other out through the good times and bad, to be honest when we need to here honesty.
But sometimes ladies have motives for doing what they are doing, its where the women on this site can tell us what they think these girls are up to. Sometimes its obvious (new bf, cheating, lost interest), sometimes its not lack of sex, maybe she is not into it cuz she just had a baby, maybe its her time of month, maybe its hurting, maybe she is not getting wet, maybe she has **** on her mind, thats what a woman would tell you as well, not us.
Again, up late so i may not be making complete sense. If i am vague or still dont touch upon something, let me know, ill try again...cuz any woman on this site probably dont care about giving up secrets, if she did, she wouldnt be here
Not every post is from a guy who is tryin 2 b an ass, i like what fellow dj's have to say, i do, and i look for the girls with the no bull responses.
Like girls who have slammed the door in my face, all fiery, tellin me to get the **** out of the house, only to be cryin the very next moment, or that girls want diisagreements resolved, that they see problems sometimes as opportunities for closeness, with friends, or things like that.
An example i remember is an old Cathy cartoon where her car wont start...she calls her boyfriend to tell him that...she starts imagining...he will come over and be happy to see me...we can sit and talk and have hot chocolate...spend some time together, we can come together cuz of this....make the most out of it...all of sudden there is a knock at the door, its the boyfriend...'heres my car keys, ill catch a ride with dave, tow truck will be here in 30 min bye'
Anyways it went something like that, guys try to solve problems, women come together when faced with one.
Its that advice that i sometimes look for.
ya know if i was fighting with a gf, a female could say 'well most likely as soon as you left, as mad as she was, she probably sat down and cried, probably called her friends, was upset, and as soon as you walked back in, sucked up her tears, acted like nothing happened'
A guy may just say - aww screw it - she dont care...
I prefer this forum to be 99 percent guys, its why we are here, to escape the female, and come together, to help each other out through the good times and bad, to be honest when we need to here honesty.
But sometimes ladies have motives for doing what they are doing, its where the women on this site can tell us what they think these girls are up to. Sometimes its obvious (new bf, cheating, lost interest), sometimes its not lack of sex, maybe she is not into it cuz she just had a baby, maybe its her time of month, maybe its hurting, maybe she is not getting wet, maybe she has **** on her mind, thats what a woman would tell you as well, not us.
Again, up late so i may not be making complete sense. If i am vague or still dont touch upon something, let me know, ill try again...cuz any woman on this site probably dont care about giving up secrets, if she did, she wouldnt be here
Colossus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
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- 3,494
- Reaction score
- 543
That Ask Men article was actually pretty good. There is surprisingly some good stuff on that website.
Advice from women can be useful, but I should clarify that I NEVER ask a woman for dating advice. I used to, and all it did was set me back in the game.
Some things I will occasionally seek advice for, like clothes, places to eat, and maybe the odd domestic item purchase.
Advice from women can be useful, but I should clarify that I NEVER ask a woman for dating advice. I used to, and all it did was set me back in the game.
Some things I will occasionally seek advice for, like clothes, places to eat, and maybe the odd domestic item purchase.