"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Korean girl -- help

bassmistro

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So I have never posted in a forum like this before, but I have found myself in a complicated situation, so I'm giving it a shot.

About me, 23 yr old white American male. University student. Speaks fluent Japanese.

Okay, so I have been in heavy pursuit of Japanese girls for the past 3 months. I am fairly good with this, but something has come up recently. I met a beautiful Korean girl. Like, I could marry this girl. BUT. There are many many problems.

1. She just moved from Korean with her ENTIRE family. She lives with them. They are ubsurdly strict. She can't stay out past 10:00 pm (she is 25 yrs old)
2. She has a boyfriend


From what I can tell so far, she has no American friends here, and is extremely persistant in constantly contacting me through text, facebook chat etc. The other night, she was for the first time in her life, allowed to go out to a club. I obviously met her at the club. She ditched all of her friends to just sit and talk with me for 2 hours. On the only night she has ever been able to go out. While we were talking, I attempted to hold her hang, and started asking her questions like, "Have you ever kissed an American guy before?" etc. We were holding hands which she didn't seem to mind. She was really shy to talk about any of these things. And when I would hold her hand for too long she would say things like, "I'm not sure if my boyfriend would like this...". BUT, she told me in the past she wants to have multiple boyfriends?!

This girl is so georgous. I really really want to be able to date her.

I have another time I'm meeting up with her soon. If anyone has any advice for these conservative Korean girls who have a boyfriend back home that they need to ditch, please help me out!!
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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EA Gold

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In South Korea there is alot of prejudice against americans because of what they did back in the Korean war. In Korea they even look down on half breeds, half korean, half american and sometimes in restaurants will turn their back on them and will not serve them.
 

Veridin

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If they would be so prejudiced toward Americans "for what they did in the war" (like save them from being invaded by North Korea), then why would the majority of the nation have turned Christian to emulate the Americans right after the war?

Practically all East Asians love Western men, women, and Western culture. It is exciting to them and they find Westerners to be attractive. I got this from first-hand sources and from friends who went to East Asia for studies.

Which is no doubt why she likes you, bassmistro. You are a White man, and she is in a new country where she has no friends. So you are like the gateway to the new environment. And hopefully you have other qualities that she likes as well. But just be careful that she doesn't just like you because of this exoticism. It wears off in time.

You feel like you are falling in love with her because she is raised conservatively, which means she will be warm and sweet to talk to, and won't have a chip on her shoulder. But be careful and keep your head cool here: this may not be enough to build a lasting relationship on.

But what the hell. You'd have the same chances together as most couples, probably better. Just remember that it is a chance, but it doesn't necessarily mean that it is a certainty that you would be great together, no matter what it feels like right now. Been there, done that. Others can testify about the same thing. You feel head-over-heels, but it may or may not last.

Okay, moving on.

The boyfriend is in Korea? Well then, no problem. She has moved away from there. The Pacific Ocean covers almost half the earth. Long-distance relationships are hard when the distance is in the same country and at a distance like Washington-New York. A country in another part of the world - it is doomed to fail. In time she will grow apart from him.

One thing about East Asians is that they are practical. While we in the West were encouraged to "find ourselves" by a post-hippie culture, they learned to study hard, save their money and get their act together. Make a safe platform to stand on. (Which is why the Chinese have very large private savings.) So do you have your act together? That's your best card.
 

Deicide

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EA Gold said:
In South Korea there is alot of prejudice against americans because of what they did back in the Korean war. In Korea they even look down on half breeds, half korean, half american and sometimes in restaurants will turn their back on them and will not serve them.
I had no idea about that. From my experience, Koreans are very cliquey about everything, and it's hard to get them to break off from that group just for a little bit. I went on a couple dates with a Korean girl this year who had a boyfriend in Korea, but I guess in the end, her friends, bf, and culture trumped me. I'm really not sure how you "get good" with such a cliquey group, especially if you met them by way of cold approach like I did.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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GhostWriter

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I'm also Korean, if that adds to my credibility.

This girl most likely does show interest only because you're white. A lot of Asian girls I know only like the novelty of dating a white man. It wears off quick from my speculation.

Second, this girl you're hitting on is low quality. She has a bf yet look what she's doing. Going out clubbing and holding hands, yea, real marriage material.

Just play on the fact that you're white. Game her like any other girl, or more specifically any other Asian girl.

They're all the same. (Women, not Asians)
 

Veridin

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Since she is Korean, also remember to buy her lots of cabbage. :D
 
M

MonkeyButt

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Beware the FOB...

I'm not in a position to tell you how to play/win her.
The only Korean I've dated was native to North America and the cultural differences were almost nil.

That said, I do suggest caution.
Get to know her culture ('cause you'll be immersed in it').
Be prepared to eat Korean food for the majority of your life.
It's a difficult path you have chosen.
Tread carefully.

MB
 
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