Knowing what you want

[slaog]

Is it best to know what you want in a women or better off not knowing? You write down a list of the qualities you like and go look for women with those qualities.

You find a woman with those qualities but then there is a problem. Because the woman have all the qualities you're looking for she then becomes very valuable in your eyes and you feel yourself catching oneitis.

How do you choose? Do you have a mental list of wht you don't want?

Discuss

 

[thedeparted]

I used to have a big list of what I wanted. Then I would go masturbate and pretend I had that woman.

Now days I just go out and get whatever I can get. If it works, keep it. If not, dump and move on.

 

[#41]

Honestly?

I've already made peace with the fact that if I ever met my perfect woman, she'd be with some guy way better looking and way more succesful than me.

Which I guess doesn't make her my perfect woman.

 

[Scaramouche]

Dear Slaog,
If you are looking for a keeper then sure make a list up,you can even weight it and give ladies a score,if you are fooling around on the Internet and have lots to choose from this is really good policy...I have a good relationship at the moment and went through 32 women before I picked her,not saying the selection process isn't fun either though it can get wearing....When all is said and done,that indefinable aspect called chemistry is most important...

 

[Deep Dish]

Is it best to know what you want in a women or better off not knowing? You write down a list of the qualities you like and go look for women with those qualities. You find a woman with those qualities but then there is a problem. Because the woman have all the qualities you're looking for she then becomes very valuable in your eyes and you feel yourself catching oneitis.

It's perfectly fine (and perfectly human) to hold a woman as valuable in your eyes. The key difference is to not fall into the pitfalls of desperation, neediness, and prematurely elevating a woman to valuable status without her having fully qualified herself. Would you be better off not knowing what you want? No, you would fall into the same pitfalls except tinged with a greater sense of being lost.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Is it best to know what you want in a women or better off not knowing?

Pssssttt... Most guys don't know what they want, they think that they do but they don't. Look at the majority of the threads created here. Do you think that they know what they want? If they did, why do they end up in the situations that they're posting about? Makes you wonder....

You find a woman with those qualities but then there is a problem. Because the woman have all the qualities you're looking for she then becomes very valuable in your eyes and you feel yourself catching oneitis.

Scarcity is a b1tch if you let it swing from you by your shorthairs. Perhaps being a little less criticle with your list of "nice to haves" may open up the pool of possibilities and lessen your fear of one-itis caused by scarcity.

How do you choose? Do you have a mental list of wht you don't want?

Like I said earlier, most guys don't know what they want, only what they don't want. The funny thing about it is that they're primarily getting what they don't want because they're focusing on their "don't want list" so intensely that it's all that they can see. Ironic, isn't it?

 

[slaog]

Pssssttt... Most guys don't know what they want, they think that they do but they don't. Look at the majority of the threads created here. Do you think that they know what they want? If they did, why do they end up in the situations that they're posting about? Makes you wonder....

True, they go after women that causes more harm than good in their lives and keep going after the same type of women.

Like I said earlier, most guys don't know what they want, only what they don't want. The funny thing about it is that they're primarily getting what they don't want because they're focusing on their "don't want list" so intensely that it's all that they can see. Ironic, isn't it?

What you focus on becomes your reality wheather you want it or not and thats whats happening to them.