"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Knock the ***** out of me

Gary123

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Ok, a weird one this....

Basically, every woman I've been with, when it ended, I thought, **** it, move on.... and lived a happy life.

Now I'm trying to move on from this girl right now, but because she's online every night, I find myself crawling back every single night, even when I dont wanna talk to her, I end up talkin to her..... I'm not gonna go into detail, but she's cute & fun to hang out with but she treats me like a piece of crap and I wanna send her on her way.... I hooked up with another chick mid week (not as hot), but still wen't crawling back like a *****....

Every other time it's been easy..... Why can't I now? :cuss:
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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cordoncordon

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I am assuming you see her on some sort of chat site or message board? Facebook? Simply block her ID from any of your contacts.

Problem solved. And you will feel stronger and better about yourself after you do it. Trust me.
 

Gary123

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Sorry for bringing up an old post.

I expect a lot of abuse for this.

I only ended it on Saturday.

I feel like ****, want to run back bad but I'm trying as hard as I can not to.

This isnt really a question.... more just admitting the fact I'm a soppy ****.
 

Neon Owl

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I know how you feel. I see my ex every time I log onto the dating site we met on...I find myself looking to see if she's online (and she is every single day for hours) but I scroll down just enough to see her username but not her pic as just seeing her face makes me go weak.
Thing is i don't want to leave the site as I get a good number of meetups from there...but just knowing she's there chatting and arranging to meet up with other guys makes me feel like sh1t.
I'm basically torturing myself...and so are you...the reason you want her so badly is because she treated you like you were below her which is what ended up happening to me too. The fact that you can't have her just makes you want her more.
 

plate's_empty

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You gained some respect from her by ending it. Maybe you got her hampster spinning. The second you go running back she'll know it was a bluff. And as soon as that happens all respect will be gone and whatever remaining feelings she had for you will be out of her system. She will now be able to move on.

If you want her back make a stand for yourself. She must profusely apologize and beg for your forgiveness for treating you like sh!t. Otherwise, you're going to be in a world of sh!t.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Gary123

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Thanks guys.

It makes me feel a bit better knowing that other people go through these emotions and that it's not just me. It's crazy difficult, I just don't know what to do really...

How do women make us feel like this?! I know i'll get over her and I know I'll come out stronger - but why does it feel so bad :rolleyes:
 

Atom Smasher

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I think it has to do with an innate feeling that the right thing to do is have some kind of "closure", as if it's somehow inherently wrong to block her, like it's an avoidance.

I found out that this closure is a worthless anchor. Block and feel good about yourself for taking action and handling business.
 

expos

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Atom Smasher said:
I think it has to do with an innate feeling that the right thing to do is have some kind of "closure", as if it's somehow inherently wrong to block her, like it's an avoidance.

I found out that this closure is a worthless anchor.
I don't know. I think if you are the type of person that needs "closure", you need to do it for yourself and just not give a sh*t about the person you are trying to get over. Be selfish and do whatever it takes to move to the next step.

An example: My ex did not allow me to get "closure" for whatever reason. She is still upset about our divorce and treated me like crap the last time we had to meet face to face, shooting rebuttals at everything I was trying to tell her. Unbelievably difficult, b*itchy and hurtful. She tried to act like she had moved on, but her tone said otherwise.

Whatever.

So, I wrote her a letter and mailed it to her. It would have been pretty easy to write a hate-filled essay to her, but I took the high road and wrote an honest letter, said what I had to say, didn't ask to reconcile, told her I'd always love her, and basically said goodbye. It felt good to do it.

A month later, I'm getting numbers from a couple different women, making out with them, and working at rebuilding myself.

Look man, you need to get closure your own way like I did. You know what you have with this girl isn't going to work now, so you've got make some move to start enjoying your life again.
 

Purefilth

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Atom Smasher said:
I think it has to do with an innate feeling that the right thing to do is have some kind of "closure", as if it's somehow inherently wrong to block her, like it's an avoidance.

I found out that this closure is a worthless anchor. Block and feel good about yourself for taking action and handling business.
This.

Fvck closure. I used to wnat closure when I was like 17, 18, but lets be honest - it don't mean sh1t. Its just you dwelling on an issue that should just be forgotten.

You wont get over anyone by keeping them on your mind and seeking 'closure'.

Why do you want it anyway?

Is it just this need to make sure she definitely doesnt want you?

Well getting dumped should be your first clue there.

Block, Delete, Ignore. NEXT!

You'll learn.

p.s. How old are you?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Atom Smasher

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Right. In addition, closure has a funny way of being a "get out of jail free" card, exonerating her for her bad behavior.
 

Aristippus

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Purefilth said:
Fvck closure.
Closure is for chicks. Women "need closure". Men don't. It's over. Case closed, as Judge Nismo would say. :p
 

expos

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Aristippus said:
Closure is for chicks. Women "need closure". Men don't. It's over. Case closed, as Judge Nismo would say. :p
Disagree. Part of being man is being accountable for your actions and I think it depends entirely on the relationship you had. If the girl is the one causing the problems (cheating, acting like a b*tch), no closure is needed. Drop them like a bag of sh*t and don't give them any more of your time.

One year, I bedded two chicks and sort of went no contact and disappeared because I just really wasn't all that in to them. I was hit with a barrage of emails and hateful texts. I didn't feel good about it. After a week, I wrote back to them and explained how I felt and was just was really honest with them. I don't think most guys do that stuff, but these girls seemed to appreciate that I was able to articulate my feelings.

I went out in style, and both girls still talk with me occasionally.
 
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