Kissed then friendzoned by former work colleague

sosousage

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I’d tell them “I don’t do friendships with women, simple as that. She dreamed up this friend zone proposal, not me. I don’t owe her my friendship anymore than she owes me anything.”
damn you are so badass gangsta but most likely that wont happen because you dont have any women contacting u jajaja
 
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DEEZEDBRAH

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Yr and a half and friend zoned after a kiss

You took slow playing it and went full retard. Step your game up kuz.

Flash game ftw. Smash or next. Repeat.
 

EternalBachelor

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No contact seems to be getting to her. Over the past few days I have had three missed calls, three texts, and she has been asking a mutual friend why I'm not talking to her. Tonight she sent a message apologizing saying she was tired and drunk and didn't feel like doing anything and it is my turn to contact her and if i don't she will move on even though it will be hard.
 
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Medina

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Everyone is correct about this attention loving wh0re using you as orbiter

But here is your next step if you should wish to take it

Invite her to your house for dinner and tell her to bring wine

Bang her

No dates, no lunches, no bullcrap
 

Jager

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You're never going to be able to figure out why ppl are fvked. Why someone would run hot and cold on you like this.
That’s full of crap. It’s a disservice to tell these guys that, and an insult to their intelligence.
 

Robert28

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No contact seems to be getting to her. Over the past few days I have had three missed calls, three texts, and she has been asking a mutual friend why I'm not talking to her. Tonight she sent a message apologizing saying she was tired and drunk and didn't feel like doing anything and it is my turn to contact her and if i don't she will move on even though it will be hard.
The ONLY thing she’s sad about is the fact that she’s losing an orbiter who gave her a ton of attention. She’s not sad about YOU, she’s sad about losing what you gave her. She could care less if you died tomorrow, trust me. Women that friend zone are like that, they don’t give two craps about you. She knows exactly why you aren’t talking to her, don’t let her play dumb.
 

Jager

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I have been working with this girl for around a year and a half. Over time we developed a flirty work banter and she was quite touchy feely. She also got jealous if I spent too long talking to the secretaries. So I did suspect she might like me. I tested the waters shortly after she joined suggesting a weekend lunch. But she was completely different outside of work: more reserved, quieter, didn't really seem to be enjoying herself. The same was true the few times we took lunch together at work. So this disconnect put me off pursuing anything further.

Once when we were flirting a bit by text and I got carried away she said we work together and if something were to happen between us it would ruin our great friendship and she had a boyfriend at work once and would never do it again. So I did start to think that was the reason she was holding back.

Eventually in May we end up going to dinner together because one of my company's restaurants had a new opening promotion. The implication was we were going as friends. But it felt like a date and when one of our colleagues came to say "Hi" she was signing my praises saying I was "smart, handsome etc" Her energy felt a bit different from the previous occasions we'd hung out together outside of work. Afterwards while walking to the station I took a diversion to a fountain and suggested we made a wish. She said she knew what my wish was. I said "What?" and she kissed me. I kissed her back but she seemed to get skittish and took off saying she had work tomorrow.

The next day she said it didn't feel right and we work together and it is better we stayed friends. I was a bit shaken up and confused and while we slowly lapsed back into our usual work banter and texted occasionally outside of work on a few occasions I did ask why she didn't want a second date especially when she was looking for a new job. As well as repeating the colleagues line she also said I didn't know how to treat women and make them feel important and she wants to get married and needs a generous person and if something was going to happen it would have done already and she'd know by now if it felt right and if she was going to develop feelings she would have done so by now.

Anyway she left work about a week ago but continued texting me and calling me every so often. Before she started her new job we agreed to meet up for dinner to celebrate her new job (as friends) and had a good time but again every time I got a bit too close she would comment and her body language remained a bit standoffish. We went for a drink after work on Friday and I tried holding hands which she was OK with for a little bit then said it felt weird and when I put my arm around her on the bus home she did not push me away but was looking straight ahead and not exactly cosying up to me. When she saw I was a bit upset she repeated all the lines about being friends and not developing feelings but added as well she wasn't ready for a relationship.

What am I to make of all of this? Should I just say I am not interested in being friends and stop contacting her and see if she misses me. Or is it pretty clear there is no hope for me here and I should just move on?
She roped you in, and you took the bait. You can almost see exactly how she did it, push and pull, made you want to chase. I’ll reiterate what @Spaz said. If you were seeing multiple women, this never would’ve been a problem.

When women become secondary to your life’s pursuits, and she’s no longer the center of your universe, you wouldn’t even care about sh!t like this and spend your time with women that fvck you.

The woman is not the problem here. You’ve got some beliefs about life, society and yourself that need to be addressed. Start there.
 

sazc

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That’s full of crap. It’s a disservice to tell these guys that, and an insult to their intelligence.
Lol then you keep on spinnin your hamster about it! Have fun with that!

The POINT, which you so obviously are missing, is that he needs to stay in control. It's not about what she does or how she behaves, it's whether or not he's willing to accept her behavior, or stay in control of the situation and cut the cord quickly so as not to cause his hamster wheel to spin.

It's about keeping HIS frame

Duh
 
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Jager

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Lol then you keep on spinnin your hamster about it! Have fun with that!
Ah, so you knew it was a disservice, then. And misleading.
 

Robert28

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She roped you in, and you took the bait. You can almost see exactly how she did it, push and pull, made you want to chase. I’ll reiterate what @Spaz said. If you were seeing multiple women, this never would’ve been a problem.

When women become secondary to your life’s pursuits, and she’s no longer the center of your universe, you wouldn’t even care about sh!t like this and spend your time with women that fvck you.

The woman is not the problem here. You’ve got some beliefs about life, society and yourself that need to be addressed. Start there.
He got the last laugh by ghosting her, though. If he can keep it up. Ghosting is the ultimate f you to the “let’s be friends” offer.
 

sazc

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Ah, so you knew it was a disservice, then. And misleading.
Sure, edit down my post for the SECOND TIME, to serve your cognitive dissonance. Weak frame
 

Jager

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Sure, edit down my post for the SECOND TIME, to serve your cognitive dissonance. Weak frame
By all means, keep going. You’re teaching me how a woman reacts to a man that challenges her.
 

Jager

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He got the last laugh by ghosting her, though. If he can keep it up. Ghosting is the ultimate f you to the “let’s be friends” offer.
True enough, but that’s not what his situation is about. He put a lot of energy in trying to get her. Went full chase mode. There’s a core belief system he has to address if he wants to avoid situations like this and conquer his goals.
 
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stormrider

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Oh my God, I needed to see this. I went through nearly this exact situation like a few months back. The advice you guys are giving in here is spot on. It's just not fair to be friends with a single girl, she's essentially calling you sexually trash. You get used for all your attention and get nothing for it while in the meantime she's fvcking and sucking 3-4 different dudes. Just embarrassing and emasculating.

When you allow women to emasculate you, not only will you feel like crap, but other people - including friends, family, and co-workers will treat you like crap too. Even your doctor will react and treat you like crap.

It's because you will develop a painbody- ego identity from being emasculated. And your painbody will trigger other people's egos to treat you like crap.

You don't even have to subjugate yourself to a woman to experience this. You can even listen to love songs and trigger every woman to cuck you.

Language, vibration, frequency, bad experiences - it can all affect your vibe.

Everywhere you turn, something is manipulating you to be a beta cuck.

Only way to escape is to stop taking in content - especially social media content, and start producing creatively. As a masculine man, you create and penetrate, you don't take in.

You pave the way, you don't look for the way.
 

Robert28

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True enough, but that’s not what his situation is about. He put a lot of energy in trying to get her. Went full chase mode. There’s a core belief system he has to address if he wants to avoid situations like this and conquer his goals.
I’ve done similar to him and realized I was too far gone that no amount of game was ever going to get me back to where I wanted to be. It happens. You get caught up in the moment and make a lot of mistakes that you can’t recover from with this particular girl. Ghosting is the ultimate royal flush though, there’s no hand she can play that will ever beat that. He basically made the conscious decision that he’d had enough, he didn’t want to be what she was offering him to be so he went his own way. He doesn’t know this but she respects him for that because it takes balls just to get up and walk away, no fancy speech, no love letter, just up and vanishing gets your point across better than you could ever do.

Some women are just good at collecting orbiters, they have years of experience in doing it and have it down to a science on how to give a guy jjst enough hope to keep him around. I’m willing to bet this is the first time she’s ever been ghosted like this which is why she’s acting the way she’s acting. Kudos to the man, well played!
 

Jager

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When you allow women to emasculate you, not only will you feel like crap, but other people - including friends, family, and co-workers will treat you like crap too. Even your doctor will react and treat you like crap.

It's because you will develop a painbody- ego identity from being emasculated. And your painbody will trigger other people's egos to treat you like crap.

You don't even have to subjugate yourself to a woman to experience this. You can even listen to love songs and trigger every woman to cuck you.

Language, vibration, frequency, bad experiences - it can all affect your vibe.

Everywhere you turn, something is manipulating you to be a beta cuck.

Only way to escape is to stop taking in content - especially social media content, and start producing creatively. As a masculine man, you create and penetrate, you don't take in.

You pave the way, you don't look for the way.
@stormrider thanks for that. Your post hit at just the right moment, handled something I was thinking about.
 

Spaz

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I’ve done similar to him and realized I was too far gone that no amount of game was ever going to get me back to where I wanted to be. It happens. You get caught up in the moment and make a lot of mistakes that you can’t recover from with this particular girl. Ghosting is the ultimate royal flush though, there’s no hand she can play that will ever beat that. He basically made the conscious decision that he’d had enough, he didn’t want to be what she was offering him to be so he went his own way. He doesn’t know this but she respects him for that because it takes balls just to get up and walk away, no fancy speech, no love letter, just up and vanishing gets your point across better than you could ever do.

Some women are just good at collecting orbiters, they have years of experience in doing it and have it down to a science on how to give a guy jjst enough hope to keep him around. I’m willing to bet this is the first time she’s ever been ghosted like this which is why she’s acting the way she’s acting. Kudos to the man, well played!
That's an agreeable form of dismissal.

But this is reactive to a situation, a bandaid at most and certainly nothing to be lauded at, however it can serve as a learning curve if one learns.

Why not be proactive so as not to be reactive?
 

Robert28

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That's an agreeable form of dismissal.

But this is reactive to a situation, a bandaid at most and certainly nothing to be lauded at, however it can serve as a learning curve if one learns.

Why not be proactive so as not to be reactive?
Sometimes you can fly a plane over a woman’s head with a sign “I’m not looking for friendship in any way shape or form.” and they still don’t get it. Still gonna offer that friendship. Sure he waited too long to pull this move, I waited too long before too. At least he did it though, finally. It’s tough to learn from though because it might be YEARS before he ever meets a woman as skilled at making you an orbiter as she was. You’re liable to meet 20 women after her that want nothing to do with friendship and want you all to themselves. These women like her are good at what they do. It’s why ghosting has become to popular and effective.
 
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