kiss close on first date or not?

[pyros]

Hi. I was thinking about some of my past dates and trying to figure out if kissing on the first date was a good or bad strategy.

I'm focusing on girls you barely know (you talked once for a couple of minutes), let's exclude girls you do know (because of friends, work...).

In my personal experience I think its slightly better to use the first date as a way to just getting to know her a bit and create some comfort, all this without a kiss, and use second date to kiss close. I've had girls whom I kissed on the first date and it went well, but just wondering.

I say this because some of the girls I kissed on our first date, they either rejected my kiss or they accepted it but they did not go out with me again. Besides, some of them were 'surprised' because I wanted to kiss them, and they all said the same: "but we do not even know each other yet!" or similar lines.



Opinions, experiences?

 

[MtnMan]

Kiss close is the only way in my opinion, got to know where you stand.

 

[nismo-4]

Hi. I was thinking about some of my past dates and trying to figure out if kissing on the first date was a good or bad strategy.

Good strategy. F**k first, ask questions later. A girl will respect you more for grabbing your balls and making a move instead of waiting patiently like an orbiter.

I'm focusing on girls you barely know (you talked once for a couple of minutes), let's exclude girls you do know (because of friends, work...).

What, don't kiss them and wind up in the friendzone? To hell with that!

In my personal experience I think its slightly better to use the first date as a way to just getting to know her a bit and create some comfort, all this without a kiss, and use second date to kiss close. I've had girls whom I kissed on the first date and it went well, but just wondering.

Procrastination, hesitation...they're like masturbation, because in the end you're only screwing yourself. You'll know if a date went well if a girl wants to see you again and actually does.

I say this because some of the girls I kissed on our first date, they either rejected my kiss or they accepted it but they did not go out with me again. Besides, some of them were 'surprised' because I wanted to kiss them, and they all said the same: "but we do not even know each other yet!" or similar lines.

They were surprised because they thought you were just gonna be a friend. That line is used to keep a beta male at bay. Keep trying and she will either reject you or accept your kiss. One or the other. If she rejects, drop her, she ain't interested.

Opinions, experiences?

Go balls deep.

Read between the lines. Communicate to women with actions, not words.

Case closed.

 

[MOTU]

I agree with above. It doesn't have to be a tongue fest but a gentle kiss on the lips determines your status, in my opinion. Oh, and I don't ask. I have gotten pretty good at reaching a hand out behind the ear in stealing a quick kiss then based on her reaction maybe I go for one more. If she closes her eyes and puts her hands on or around you your good for some make out action. If not you smile and wink and say good night.

 

[n00bPimp]

You're not doing enough preparation for the kiss. You have to touch them more. and I would suggest that your goal should not be just to kiss them on the first date but to have sex. It can be done, I do it constantly, and it makes the girls more likely to see you, plus you get laid. WIN WIN

 

[Night-hawk]

You have nothing to lose. The mindset of holding back - unless it is a part of your plan - only becomes a form of pedestalizing, as you subconsciously place her as a girl to lose. This will lead to more - like I said unless you are indifferent and outcome independent - mental investment (daydreaming) and non-strategic expectations that if unmet will lead to disappointment (outcome dependent). So either you don't care or care to make the move regardless of her reaction - because all her reaction indicates is her worth of seeing you again - a personal screening tool to shift the potential from the dirt.

 

[Trump]

In my personal experience I think its slightly better to use the first date as a way to just getting to know her a bit and create some comfort, all this without a kiss, and use second date to kiss close. I've had girls whom I kissed on the first date and it went well, but just wondering.

I say this because some of the girls I kissed on our first date, they either rejected my kiss or they accepted it but they did not go out with me again. Besides, some of them were 'surprised' because I wanted to kiss them, and they all said the same: "but we do not even know each other yet!" or similar lines.

There is no "strategy" for it, you just have to make sure she has fun and go for as much as you can. I would never ever wait for a second date to get a kiss, there are 101 things that could happen between the first and second, and girls only care about the right now.

"But we do not even know each other yet" means "I'm protecting myself to look good in front of others." If you don't say dumb things and she has a good time with you among other things, there is no reason she shouldn't want a kiss on the first.

 

[The_411]

A - Always
B - Be
E - Escalating

Think of a kiss close as a statement of intent. By not kissing you may be being more mysterious but more likely she'll think of you as aw us/gay/or that she's unattractive.

 

[Don-Kong]

Depends on the rating. If she's hot and knows it, then she's used to guys hitting on her. There's a fine line between the fiend zone and being patiently seductive, but it's not always good to show your hand. Dating can sometimes be like seductive chess.

Potentially it says to her, this guy wants what everyone wants and they all want one thing. The trick is to escalate until she wants you to kiss but show her your patient side. The mindset is this: I'm not sure if I want to have her in my world, I'm the prize. This is empowering instead of getting anxious wondering whether it's time or not.

So what if it doesn't happen, it's all numbers, plenty of opportunities.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Here's how I work it: if it's a girl I talked to online or have been set up with and I'm meeting her for the first time, I typically set up a coffee date as the "first" date so I can get to know her, and I don't go in for the kiss. On the "second" date, which is really the first "date" type of date, I go in for the kiss close. On the few occasions where I take a girl out on a "first" date that's not at a coffee shop but at a restaurant or someplace where activities are involved, it's usually because I've prepped them in advance (either messaging them on the dating site or having a 5 to 10 min convo with them at a party); as such, I will go in for a kiss because we've already had some kind of dialogue beforehand.

I've been on some first dates where I go for the kiss and the girl backs away a bit or is surprised, but only about 5% of the time - the majority of them will let me kiss them back, and about 15% of them are ready to do more than just kiss. Ultimately, the worst that can happen is a girl saying it's too soon - so long as there's not a chance of her suddenly chopping my head off, I'd say the odds are more in favor of having a positive reaction, so go for it!

 

[VladPatton]

Here's how I work it: if it's a girl I talked to online or have been set up with and I'm meeting her for the first time, I typically set up a coffee date as the "first" date so I can get to know her, and I don't go in for the kiss. On the "second" date, which is really the first "date" type of date, I go in for the kiss close. On the few occasions where I take a girl out on a "first" date that's not at a coffee shop but at a restaurant or someplace where activities are involved, it's usually because I've prepped them in advance (either messaging them on the dating site or having a 5 to 10 min convo with them at a party); as such, I will go in for a kiss because we've already had some kind of dialogue beforehand.

I've been on some first dates where I go for the kiss and the girl backs away a bit or is surprised, but only about 5% of the time - the majority of them will let me kiss them back, and about 15% of them are ready to do more than just kiss. Ultimately, the worst that can happen is a girl saying it's too soon - so long as there's not a chance of her suddenly chopping my head off, I'd say the odds are more in favor of having a positive reaction, so go for it!

This^^^

 

[Yo'Mama]

Depends on the rating. If she's hot and knows it, then she's used to guys hitting on her. There's a fine line between the fiend zone and being patiently seductive, but it's not always good to show your hand. Dating can sometimes be like seductive chess.

Potentially it says to her, this guy wants what everyone wants and they all want one thing. The trick is to escalate until she wants you to kiss but show her your patient side. The mindset is this: I'm not sure if I want to have her in my world, I'm the prize. This is empowering instead of getting anxious wondering whether it's time or not.

So what if it doesn't happen, it's all numbers, plenty of opportunities.

Awesome typo. I want to be in the FIEND zone, lol

 

[BeDJ]

In my experience, I was much more successful going for the kiss during the first date. This opens the door for plenty of opportunities.