"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Kino.

Maeisgood

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Please list your kino styles and situations in which you did someting "spontaneous." Other people can use this list to supplement the stuff in the bibles.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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TonyTheTigerOI

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Accidental touching aside, we will be talking about deliberate kino today.

Why kino? Touch is a powerful sense... the rout of all stimulation. By touching your target you add an element of sexuality to your conversation - without saying a word. touch builds a connection between you and your target, and it is that connection which you use as leverage when you take your relationship to another level [#/date/kiss/fvck close].

When do you use kino? Everyone walks around in a bubble of personal space, and communicates at different distances depending on comfort level. Public distance is greater than 10 ft away, and this is how we talk to strangers, and sometimes where we break the ice from. Social distance is around 5 ft, this is how we talk to people we are indifferent to, and people we have just met. Personal distance is around 2 ft, we talk to our close friends at this distance, once you have rapport with a target, you should be inside her Personal distance. Intimate distance is closer than 2 ft, this is pre-kiss distance, whisper distance, this is Kino distance, baby! Any time you are at an intimate distance with your target you may, and should, be using kino.

What is kino? Introductory kino - when you take a ladies hand and introduce yourself, gently squeeze her hand, and hold it slightly longer than you would a ‘normal’ [man to man] handshake. This gets her used to your touch. Also, if you are standing/walking next to her, brush your arm against hers. Sitting across from her? Slide your foot beside hers so your ankles touch for a moment. All of these touches open her up to the idea that being touched by you is normal.

Light kino - When either of you make a strong point during a conversation, or someone asserts something, lightly touch the side of her upper arm with an open hand. If there is a third party in the conversation, and you quote, mention, or talk about your target, place an open hand on her forearm [if she is facing you], her side [if her arm is not outstretched], or her lower back [if she is facing the third party]. If walking together, guide her through a doorway by the waist, or use a similar motion as you round a corner. If sitting, slide your foot next to hers, then move your foot up and down, so your ankles/lower legs lightly rub. If standing side by side, lean towards her so your arm/chest is touching her for a few moments.

Intermediate kino - Touch her hand with yours or lean against her. Trace along her arms with your hands. If sitting “lock” your knees with hers [one of hers is in-between both of yours, or vice versa]. When walking, “crook” your arm [like how a bride and her father walk down the isle]. Then, when she takes your arm, walk close so your bodies brush against each other [not only the arms, but hips as well]. Short hugs. Play fighting.

Heavy kino - Massaging. Tickle wrestling. Hand holding. Running your fingers through her hair. Long, close hugs. Dancing [if done correctly ;-)].

Now, anyone can try kino, but to understand the progression, that’s the key. You get into her intimate distance with your use of language, being the all around confident, charismatic man you are. Once you are close to your target, introduce touching to your relationship. Look into her eyes and hold her hand as you introduce yourself, brush your arm against hers. If a woman lets you into her intimate distance, she wants you to touch her... once you’ve initiated touching, move on to light kino. She told a funny joke, smile and place your fingertips on her upper arm. Kino, especially in its early stages, should never be blatant. The thought of you touching her shouldn’t enter her mind - you just do it, and she is so enthralled in the conversation she doesn’t even ‘notice.’ She told another joke and you lightly put your hand on her love handle as you laughed. Your conversation is so wildly entertaining, and your touching is stimulating her, she’s ready for intermediate kino. Crock your arm and take a walk, open a door for her and guide her through by the waist. You tease her, she jokingly hits you, you flirt back, its time for heavy kino. You stop fooling around, look deep into her eyes, pull her [by her cloths] close. You run your fingers through her hair, and lightly massage the back of her neck before you know it, your kissing... yay!

When you use kino, look for positive feedback before you move to the next level. If you lightly touch the side of her arm and she smiles and leans towards you [positive body language], you’d do fine to place your hand on her love handle next time. Also, whenever she uses a level of kino, feel free to skip that level of kino - she’s used to it already.

Kino is like any other technique, the more your practice, the more natural it becomes. And when you are chatting up beautiful women, slipping your hands around their waist and playing footsy without even thinking, its a wonderful thing.
 

Maeisgood

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That's very good thanks.


I have this probelm. Its called a chick I really like has a boyfriend in another county but she flirts with me every day I see her. When we hang out on weekends she jokes/hints at me wanting to go out with her friend. One of the e-mails said something about they know exactly what we think. If they know what we're thinking, then how do we be spontaneous and stuff?

To get a girl to become your girlfriend is there a "question" to "pop" like when you ask them to marry you? This is something I've been wondering for almost a year and no one ever answered me directly and I missed out, hopefully not forever.

Its almost like she's torturing me with her attention. Its hard to get her out of my mind by looking for others when she keeps coming over to me. I pretty much ignore her and she still teases me.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

TonyTheTigerOI

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At younger ages there is a question to pop because traditional "dating" is restricted. Ive never popped it, some one who has would be better to ask.
 

Vincent

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Originally posted by TonyTheTigerOI
Does anyone remember back when I originally posted this? What a day that was =)
You really do need to quit talking about this. It's good but you got such a big head about it :p
 

Vincent

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Originally posted by TonyTheTigerOI
Ill keep my big head inflated, thank you very much ;-)
I got my needle to pop it. :p
 

Maeisgood

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Why does she do this? She even said once after regretting not having gone with me to homecoming said something like she loved me but not romantically. I don't remember what I said in response to this. I don't know if she "loves" all of her guy friends. Maybe she said she rather have gone with me to make me feel better (I did go, but with someone else who asked me) or if there is something there and I'm just lacking something important. I've never stopped talking to other girls, but she's only making things hard. Sometimes literally.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Maeisgood

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How far does a relationship have to be to be considered "long distance"?
 
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