Kino escalation over coffee at my place

[d0g]

Hi guys,

A girl ("Anna"; the one from this thread: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2019113) is scheduled to come over to my place tomorrow night at 8 for "coffee".

Here's how the invitation went:

Me: Hey, are you free tomorrow night?
Her: Yeah, I'm free for a little bit. How about we chat over coffee?
Me: Great. Have you got time for a movie?
Her: I'm not sure. Let's first met up and then decide.
...

So it looks like I'm not going to be able to get her to stick around for a movie.

This destroys the great kino plan (suggested in the other thread) of bringing her over for a movie and immediately getting things started by sitting next to her and putting my arm around her shoulders.

So my main question is this: how do I kino escalate in a situation where she's in my lounge, drinking coffee and having a chat? It seems like there's no good way to do anything more than just accidentally touch her shoulders, legs, hands, etc. The movie suggestion of just immediately cuddling up to her on the couch was awesome, but I don't know what to do in a "coffee in my lounge" situation.

Assuming she really does have a limited time (let's say 60 minutes), what should my goal be? (And yes, I know, if she was really into me, she would ignore any self-imposed time limit, forget about work, and just want to bang me, but I'm nowhere near that level of competence, so I need a realistic goal where I make progress and don't go too far that I scare her off when she goes away and thinks about what happened.)

Thanks,
d0g

 

[ARrocket]

Are you sure you guys are talking about the same thing?

To me, it sounds like she's suggesting meeting up at Starbucks or something ilke that. And she thinks that you're asking if she'd like to hit up a movie theater after.

Make sure ya'll are on the same page...

 

[d0g]

I think we're on the same page; she said she wanted to come over and have a chat over coffee. No mention of going anywhere. (We'll find out soon enough if I've misinterpreted this, but I think it's literally as is. She wants to come over, but claims to not have enough time to watch a movie, so she claims to just want to chat.)

Any ideas on how to play this?

Later,
d0g

 

[Sik]

Hey d0g,

I used to work up in the City in the Sea Cliff area. Interesting place, certainly! I really wish more forum members would put their location; it would help with the cultural differences north/south/east/west.

Anyways, keep it a low-key affair. Have some alcohol on hand, I HIGHLY recommend mead.

Have the place nice and clean. I have my dates take their shoes off when they come in. Sometimes I say "Don't worry, it's just so you can't run very far." Then I give the tour of my place and I start by guiding them with my hand on their waist. I show the kitchen, the balcony and view, etc. It also helps that I just renovated so it looks awesome. I'll also sometimes say "Whoa, you have a nice shape" when I place my hand on their hip, depending on their demeanor. They've always enjoyed the compliment.

Then I guide to the kitchen and pour the mead/wine, but in your case, the coffee. Perhaps offer some Bailey's Irish Creme? Then, using your hand, guide her to your couch (loveseat is best!) and sit next to her, one arm casually draped over her part of the couch.

Every time you are telling a thrilling story, touch her shoulder, arm, etc to emphasize the point. For example, I used to be a paratrooper, so tell a story on what it's like to conduct airborne operations and jumping from moving aircraft. Part of the story is about the plane shaking before a combat takeoff, so I will lightly grab her shoulder and lightly shake her.

I will sit slightly curled up on the couch with one leg up and the girl usually mimics it. Sometimes I will put their leg over mine, depending on how it's going. My hands have calluses from working out a lot, so I'll mention it and then examine her hands and proclaim "You have such girly hands!" The idea is lots of casual touching.

Be updated on current events, read the newspaper and tabloids so you have topics to discuss. I'm well-read and can converse about nearly anything but I still check Google News every day for the top trending stories.

This broad mentioned being busy; I would suggest also being busy. If she asks what your doing later, have something already set up. If I take a girl in and she asks what I'm doing later, I usually say "My friend's are going out to the pub, I might head out and have a few beers." This lets her know that I have options and she's not the only game in town.

tl;dr
Kino escalation is hard to explain, but really I find that touching early and often works best for me. Hug her when she shows up, for example. That sets the standard right away. Then guide her with one hand on the hip or small of back. Then sit down with one arm over her couch area and be so close when sitting that something, i.e., a knee, leg, is touching at all times.

If she's even a little bit receptive of your touching, eventually get closer and move in for a kiss after you've developed some rapport. Women respect assertiveness. I've never had a girl become angry that I kissed her.

P.S. Definitely kiss her before she leaves! Full on, mouth and tongue kissing, too. Grab ass, pull hair. You're the boss, broseph!

Godspeed, man!

 

[GhengisKhan]

Sik: I'm intrigued: why mead? Does it have some sort of aphrodisiac quality I'm unaware of, or is it just something chicks like the taste of?

 

[d0g]

Hey Sik,

Concur about location. SF and the Bay Area in general has some local quirks with its girls. Of course for now regional differences are the least of my concerns -- I need to improve my game a lot before that starts to matter much.

Thanks for the tips -- there are some really good ones there. I don't have Bailey's on hand, but I don't know why I didn't think of that one! I could also have offered to make the coffee Irish, although the lass had to work later tonight, so probably would've refused the booze. Nevertheless, I should update my stash with Baileys and Jameson for such occasions.

I'm sad to report that I was a ***** tonight though. The girl came, we got her coffee sorted out, and then she perched herself on a chair in my lounge, and I didn't find any way to kino from my position. I find that if I don't start the kino off from the beginning, it just gets exponentially harder to initiate, since it feels more forced and awkward. I like the idea of giving the girl the grand tour of your apartment while guiding her waist. That definitely sets off the right tone. Maybe the next girl I have around, I'll have the balls to just go for it from the start.

Later,
d0g

 

[Sik]

GhengisKhan:

Mead may have some aphrodisiac qualities, but mostly it's an interesting and absolutely delicious alcoholic drink that's easy for anyone to consume. I find that women are usually not beer drinkers, and only sometimes are wine drinkers. However, I find that all women are mead drinkers!

It's also a rare drink, so it's a great way to suggest going back to my place to try some. Usually the conversation goes like like this after a few drinks at my favorite pub:

Sik: So, Slampiece, are you a wine drinker?
Slampiece: Sometimes, I like light wines...
Sik: Indeed! Well, have you ever had MEAD!?
Slampiece: Mead? What's that?
Sik I can't believe you've never heard of Mead! It's the drink of Vikings! It's a recipe that's thousands of years old and pre-dates the cultivation of soil. They make it from honey, so it's a smooth, sweet and delicious type of wine. I have a bottle at my pad; you should come over and try some!
Slampiece: That sounds really good! Ok!
Sik: lol you dumb broad
Slampiece: I didn't catch that...
Sik: I said let's take my truck.
Slampiece: Ok!


OP / d0g,

Don't stress too much about how it went, there's always next time. Sounds like you're on the right track and some girls are really hard to connect with, too. I have some friends up in SF, I'll have to head up there and scope the local spots out with you sometime.

Since you're in the Bay Area, I would suggest checking out a place called The Madera restaurant in Menlo Park on a Thursday night. It's the local rich people's singles hangout and a lot of very hot girls show up. Bring your own beer since it's impossible to get a drink without a table. Dress classy, too!

 

[Sandow]

Yea, you can't force it if there's no opportunity. I'm more interested in why she even came over. What were her intentions? This is where you have to be able to read IOI's. If she's giving you IOI's, then schedule another time to meet up where you can escalate. If she's just using you as a friend, and you know if she is, it's pretty easy, then just move on to the next and stop wasting your time.

 

[rearea]

Annnnnnnnnnnd this is why the first 3 dates I refuse to go to a guy's house

 

[Sandow]

Annnnnnnnnnnd this is why the first 3 dates I refuse to go to a guy's house

Great story, rearea. How are helping anyone here? What does your 2 c have to do with anything. Another self entitled attention wh0re with severe narcism believing she speaks for all women. Beat it.

 

[rearea]

Great story, rearea. How are helping anyone here? What does your 2 c have to do with anything. Another self entitled attention wh0re with severe narcism believing she speaks for all women. Beat it.

Pot calling the kettle black much?

 

[Aristippus]

Annnnnnnnnnnd this is why the first 3 dates I refuse to go to a guy's house

I refuse to acknowledge an embittered woman. Let her crawl into her corner and be miserable. I'm responding to the men on this topic for their benefit by addressing this statement. It's totally unnecessary to bring a woman to your place for things to move forward. When I was single, I used to NEVER bring women to my place. To me, home is a sacred place and I avoid bringing drama to my home.

You could easily get her worked up in public and find opportunities to sneak away and be alone together. When she is really turned on, then you simply get a room for the night or go to her place.

 

[VladPatton]

Annnnnnnnnnnd this is why the first 3 dates I refuse to go to a guy's house

Until the guy that turns on your "vag faucet" comes along.

http://www.homedepot.com/p/Husky-No...ee-Pad-HD820666/202268982?N=c220#.UW8zjrVwroI