Kino confusion.

[ntdawg]

Hey Guys,

I've got my approaching and opening down pat. Soon after opening I'm good at getting their attention and building the anticpation using ****y + funny, busting their balls and playfully teasing etc. What is confusing me is kino and reading the responses to it.

While out in the field this weekend this happened a couple of times. I opened a woman got the conversation flowing and started kino - light touching of the upper arm, small of the back, waist, lower thigh etc even up to touching the nape of the neck. Now these woman were definatley open to the kino and didn't flinch at all and even got more into the conversation as I did it. Strong eye contact was maintained through out. Ten minutes after approaching I find out that they live with their partner?

What is your take on this? As they were receptive to the c + f, teasing and kino etc do you think that they WERE attracted but as they have a partner their logic over ruled them from allowing things to escalate further? Do you think that I should be looking for a woman to kino back before I take it as a sign of interest?

I was reading the above interactions as the woman being interested and attracted to me and then I find out that they're unavailable. Am I looking for the wrong thing?

I would appreciate any thoughts, suggestions or comments.

 

[Jackman]

These girls are just letting you know that they know what you're up too and that they are somewhat obligated to let you know the situation. My suggestion is to lay back on the kino just a little bit and emphasise being a fun guy to be around. Keep them giggling.

 

[ntdawg]

If that is the case what do you look for to know That a woman is interested? Keeping them giggling is a no brainer but isn't an indication of attraction but is an indication of value. What are indicators of attraction if they are comfortable with your touch, maintain eye contact and are giggling and having a good time?

Anyone?

 

[Jackman]

Look, you can't always be on the offensive. Knowing every single minute what exactly the perfect next move is isn't practical. It seems to me that you're looking for some sort of a definitive, unmistaken answer on where to go from here, as if there is some sort of infalliable 12-step program that leads to pvssy. It doesn't always play out that way.

I'm telling you to keep it light-hearted and fun until they become more responsive and flirtatious. Women are suckers for fun, so if you can keep the interst up with positive association, they will eventually start to physically respond. Wait until that point to go back on the offensive again.

Don't force it.

 

[ntdawg]

I don't think that you follow what I'm trying to say. I'm not trying to force anything but I use kino to test their interest. I'm already doing everything which you suggest. This is how I read a woman's response to kino would you agreee? As a rough guide every situation is different.


Kino -> moves away to create more space, or flinches -> obvious disinterest.
Kino -> remains comfortable, maintains conversation and EC but doesn't kino back -> Neutral, keep going as is.
Kino -> kinos back, becomes more flirtatious -> Escalate

Jackman it sounds as though you are saying to wait for the kino response before escalating. Is that right?

 

[jaymo]

who knows. maybe their current BF isn't that great, or maybe they're just real flirty. women give positive signals for all kinds of reasons.

I recently did what you did and got some VERY obvious signals from this girl. I mean after was all said and done, i was laying my head on her lap (close to where a certain female area is i might add), she was stroking my hair, and feeling my chest and there were other people in the room........only to hear 2 days later that she likes someone else and then 2 days after that she asks this guy out and gets into a relationship with him!!

What's even stranger is that she did this despite the fact that she was also having (unofficial) physical relations with this 3rd guy, who was equally pissed when he heard the news.

Needless to say I was very discouraged at this turn of events and it took me a week of not talking to this girl and getting to know other people to flush it all out of my system. When the girl finally apologized to me, she said that she "knew what she was doing in seeing how far i would take this" and that she "failed her own test for getting caught up in the moment", which i took to mean that i got her seriously turned on and she wanted more at that particular time. If I had the opportunity to escalate things (which i didnt cuz i had to take a friend home and it was getting late), I think it could have gone much further than it did, although it prolly wouldn't have made much difference considering that the same thing happened to the other guy and he got to 3rd base with her while i didnt even get to 2nd.

Only experiance can really tell you what is really going on, and even then its not 100% reliable. Its largely a matter of luck and having the right attitude, and paying attention to the million little things that can make or break your success with women.