Kindness as a character trait, being alpha and maintaining frame

[SoSuave666]

I have found, by and large, that women really do like a kind man. But--and this is the key here--they are attracted to men who are kind to OTHERS.

"Oh man, he helped that little old lady take her groceries to the car, what a gentleman!"

Meanwhile, she is carrying the groceries for the two of you.

Women want to see the affectionate, emotional side of men in action...but not always directed at THEM. Women want and desire things that they cannot have. When you are nice to others in her presence and a bit of a d!ck to her otherwise, she gets tingles because she has to work harder for your "kindness." With women it is important to give them emotion/affection/kindess in sporadic, unplanned moments.

 

[MOTU]

Lot's of great discussion here, thanks

To be clear, when I say kindness I DO NOT mean supplication or pandering.

In my experience people equate kindness with weakness.

Agreed, but as Zekko alluded to, I think this is an indication of the quality of the person you are dealing with.

Tenacity, Guru, Zekko, Colossus, you all make good points about coming from a place of strength, setting boundaries, and not being used. Context is everything. Guru, good point on motives. Alpha is a state of mind.

Cword - excellent contributions, thanks. What you say makes sense to me about the difference between kindness and neediness. But I am not sure about being in a relationship that doesn't require any strategy. I want that, but I am not sure I can ever have it. Have you read The Rational Male? Rollo makes a strong assertion that you can never stop gaming because a woman's hypergamy never stops.

Pairs - it's funny, but it struck me recently how similar I am to my gf's father, in terms of personality traits and character. I have actually played to that a couple of times and it works like a charm.

Desdi - I am a lot like you on the natural kindness front. Even the rough sex part. I do it - but the only reason it turns me on is because it makes her go apesh!t on me. I wouldn't do it if I didn't get that reward. I have to be aware of how my kindness is perceived too.

BPM - I agree that kindess is essential in a RELATIONSHIP but I am Desdi that it doesn't help with seduction. Maybe the kindness is better downplayed in the seduction process but then brought out as the relationship progresses, after you have established strong frame and demonstrated that you can fvck the sh!t out of her.

666 - excellent point on having the kindness pointed toward others. Then maybe she'll feel like she has to earn it from you?

 

[Desdinova]

I have found, by and large, that women really do like a kind man. But--and this is the key here--they are attracted to men who are kind to OTHERS.

"Oh man, he helped that little old lady take her groceries to the car, what a gentleman!"

Meanwhile, she is carrying the groceries for the two of you.

Women want to see the affectionate, emotional side of men in action...but not always directed at THEM. Women want and desire things that they cannot have. When you are nice to others in her presence and a bit of a d!ck to her otherwise, she gets tingles because she has to work harder for your "kindness." With women it is important to give them emotion/affection/kindess in sporadic, unplanned moments.

I was actually thinking of this angle, and I think you may be 100% correct here. It almost seems that being nice to others while holding back toward her might be the magic formula. I'm starting to think that the same could be said for the whole "provider" element. You can provide for others in need, but let her pick up her own groceries.