Kinda stuck

[B-Real]

Ok I've finally learned to deal with my solitude issue. Yesterday I approached a girl in one of my classes, whom I've never talked to before. I got her to kinda small talk about a test or something that we had a week ago. She responded well and we talked for about 6 minutes total.

So my question is.. do I need to ask her for her number then, I mean I"ve never talked to the girl more than 6 minutes in my life. Should I have tried the number close? I mean I suppose I could have asked her if she wanted to study sometime and got her number. But for some reason I feel like I need to build more of a rapport with her before I ask her for her number. What do you suggest?

I have no problem getting the courage to talk to the chicks, but something inside makes me feel like I should at least talk to them 2 or 3 more times before I number close. It's like why should they give out their number to a complete stranger?

 

[Bussey]

Well contrary to what everyone says is 'THE LAW on GETTING PHONE NUMBERS', you don't need to get the phone number per say on the first conversation.

The reason I say this is because you're in a situation where you will see her week after week, so if you aren't comfortable asking her number your first convo, you can hold off asking until next time you two talk.

Now I'm not saying put it off and keep getting nervous about asking her for it for longer then one mroe conversation! If you hesitate or neglect to do it next time you're talking, then don't bother.

And secondly, when you do ask her for her number don't say 'So we can study together sometime.'

It reeks of lack of confidence, demonstrates you're not really interested and just comes across as scared.

When you ask, you need to put a time constraint on it ie. class is over and you turn to her and say "I gotta get to my next class, but you seem like a cool girl. We should hang out sometimes, what's your number?"

Good luck.

 

[B-Real]

Ok so the situation with this girl in my class is taken care of. I will see her on a regular basis and the next time I talk with her I will probably ask for her number.

But what about girls that I meet walking to and from these classes. If I sarge sometime? Do you suppose the convo will have to exceed my "6 minute record"? I mean unless she has any previous attachment to you and realizes that are of social worth to her, why would she even give you 1 minute?

I have a hard time beleiving that someone could play it so cool the first time that they meet a girl that she automatically sees him as a potential mate. It seems that their must be some kind of previous aquatience (sp?) for her to say "hmm, this guy is really on my level"

And I'm not saying that I"m putting them up on a pedestal, I just saying on a social scale. And you guys know that the social scale is really important especially in college. Maybe not always, but I can gurantee that their will be some girl that you run across that you think is hot and the only way that she will give you an opportunity to get to know her is if she thinks that you are actually "somebody"

Forgive me for being so labeling, its just that I see this sh*@ all day everyday at my college and I just wanted to bring it up.

 

[Bussey]

Ok so the situation with this girl in my class is taken care of. I will see her on a regular basis and the next time I talk with her I will probably ask for her number.

Just be chill about it. Just relax and if she rejects the idea, brush it off. There's lots in college haha I'd know.

But what about girls that I meet walking to and from these classes. If I sarge sometime? Do you suppose the convo will have to exceed my "6 minute record"? I mean unless she has any previous attachment to you and realizes that are of social worth to her, why would she even give you 1 minute?

I've frequently been able to go from 'Hello' to 'Hey, whats your number?' in a matter of minutes. What you need to do is introduce with a time constraint on the approach (false or real), need to be upbeat and confident, have something like an opinion opener to get her talking on a personal level and then bring back the time constraint and number close.

An example of this is the following;
1. Hey I can only stay a minute, I need to get to class.. (Time Constraint)
2. I need a female opinion on something, (launch questions and get her answer).
3. Reply to her answer with a follow-up story.
4. Hey, I don't think I caught your name?... Hi, ____ I'm Bussey.
5. I gotta get to class, but you seem like a cool girl. We should hang out sometime, can I get your number?
6. (If she says no.) Be calm, and just say 'I understand, bye ____.'
If she says yes... then there ya go.

 

[aelux]

the only way that she will give you an opportunity to get to know her is if she thinks that you are actually "somebody"

Red flag.

The only thing that matters when dealing with girls is being confident that you are somebody. Sounds cheesy I know but what is it that you think those "somebody" people have?

If you're convinced that you're a nobody then people will react to that and you'll hurt your chances. Even if you had a horn and three eyes that would still not be enough to stop you hitting on HBs.