"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Kinda stuck

pooparu

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2006
Messages
412
Reaction score
10
Location
In a land called **** it.
Hey guys, this isn't like just a seduction question or anything, I kind of need advice. I debated whether to put it into the general discussion, but I think people my age would be able to help me more.

I recently had to come down to virginia (from jersey), to stay with my dad. I thought, fine whatever, I don't wanna do it but i'll last the month. Then we went on vacation and now I've found that I may not be back home till like the beginning of school. I'm actually on a hotel computer now, but thats besides the point. Heres my thing, I know that I should be excited to get out to a new frontier to sarge, but I have no one to share my progress or my crash and burns with and laugh about, so you kinda get bummed out. But here's a few things:

1. Even when I want to (and down south girls love me here, I guess its cuz I'm dark and tall and handsome (I mean who doesn't love a man like that :p) ), I really can't sarge, because I've got my family with me everywhere I go. Either I'm working with my dad, or I have to watch my younger brother who loves to interupts when I talk to females, or I'm with my sister (who is great for social proof, but its rarely just me and her), or my parents, so I can't just walk off and start talking to women, not because I'm self conscious with them around (though I don't like them seeing me sarging), but because we are always going somewhere or at a location for a family event (because I'm here they are planning alot of **** for just us to do).

2. I'm starting to get kind of depressed or down because I know if I don't find a way to circumvent this, for the next two months I can only improve my inner game and practice theory and not get alot of field work done (though with my sisters friends there's some fun to be had hehe).

3. My family is negative alot more than I like to be around, and I find myself having to consciously block out the negativity, because I've finally left that pessimistic mindset, and I don't wanna get back into it.


So guys I just need some advice. Should I just keep doing what I'm doing (exercising, learning theory, reading the DJ bible, getting out and sarging whenever I can, albeit a bit lonely), and try to stay upbeat, or has anyone been in a situation like this and foudn ways to overcome it.

Also, I'm awesome at meeting friends, its just alot harder to do when I'm with my family and they are taking me to christian oriented thigns and what not (people who are just kinda boring and stay in their comfort zones). I'm working on meeting guys and girls when I'm alone but its still hard. So any suggestions guys? thanks in advance.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Contender

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2006
Messages
193
Reaction score
3
This is a very, very important issue that you must handle. Ultimately, regardless of what I, or what anyone else says, it is your decision; you can choose to agree to my suggestion, or negate it.

Now, when it comes down to the bottom line, I'm not exactly sure about your particular problem. Are you feeling down, and pressured to change your present lifestyle due to external - and, mainly, parental - forces?

Look, the bottom line is don't change if you DON'T desire this change. There is always a BAD side to every decision we make in life.

Which side in life do you want to be on? Can you withstand the Bad on the DJ side, or would you rather torture yourself on the turf your idealistic parents wish you to dwell on?

Everything has a Pro/Con; but, what makes our decisions so important, is that we are willing to deal with the Cons of certain decisions for the inherent PRO.


Clarify your post, and I will clarify mine.
 

dannowillbookem

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 14, 2005
Messages
1,151
Reaction score
5
Location
florida baby
and dont let it drive you to drinking.

sorry. i've been reading a million little pieces.
 

LikRetsam

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 30, 2003
Messages
1,633
Reaction score
1
How does this qualify as a problem?
 

Contender

Don Juan
Joined
Jan 30, 2006
Messages
193
Reaction score
3
LikRetsam said:
How does this qualify as a problem?
Yeah, I was a bit confused as well. I believe he is trying to tell us in his post that he is pressured to obey his family standards; and the failures, and shortcomings of living his new life as a "dj" is that last straw that broke the camels back.

He does not know what to do in life. He's simply confused as to what to do. That's what I think he means.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

Read more...

Nexxus

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 1, 2005
Messages
239
Reaction score
0
Age
37
Location
Tampa, Florida
Contender said:
Yeah, I was a bit confused as well. I believe he is trying to tell us in his post that he is pressured to obey his family standards; and the failures, and shortcomings of living his new life as a "dj" is that last straw that broke the camels back.

He does not know what to do in life. He's simply confused as to what to do. That's what I think he means.
yes, that post was the most helpful of this topic...
 

pooparu

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2006
Messages
412
Reaction score
10
Location
In a land called **** it.
Nexxus said:
yes, that post was the most helpful of this topic...
My post must not have been clear enough then.

My problem is that I have to be here for the next two months, its not a question of morals, but simply that:

A. My family is with me everywhere I go. Its hard to sarge and it kinda gets me depressed when I see girls trying to call me over or pick me up and I can't because my family is with me.

B. I was saying I was depressed because I don't have time to get out there and really get experience. I raelly am limited to just reading the DJ bible, and jumping on the chances when my family isn't around (which is rare).

C. My family is often alot less optimistic than I like to be, and I don't want there negativity to start to affect me.

My question really is, what are some good ways to cope with this, or do you guys think I should just say forget that my family is there and go meet women with them (which is definetly going to be alot harder with having to keep an eye on a smaller brother or being with my sister).

I'm just feeling kinda beat because I'm ready to get out there and really get my experience this summer, but instead I'm just stuck being around family constantly. And also, because things are kinda far apart in their city and public transportation is ****, its hard to get out when I do have free time and meet people.

I'm not looking to change my lfiestyle, but for the next two months I'm going to be stuck like this and having to tip toe aroudn my family to meet women and have fun in general.

Hope that cleared things up.
 

oakraiderz2

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 26, 2002
Messages
4,626
Reaction score
28
Age
40
Location
Colorado
If you have a chance to talk to a girl and youre with your family...do it. Youre young and you cant get your time back. If you let two months go by with you watchin the time past youll be pissed. Just go off and talk to a girl real quick and go back to the fam. Think of it as a preseason. Take your brother or sister with you and use them as a tool to talk to the girl. Be nice to them and have them go over to the girl, thatll give you a reason to go talk to them.
 
Top