Killing a passive attitude

[Quiksilver]

Hey guys

Still working on my weaknesses and improving my strengths and all that.

I've noticed recently that I have a very passive attitude. Toward everything. It's like there isn't any fire there at all.

1. not reacting visibly to something that might be expected to produce manifestations of an emotion or feeling.

I don't quite understand it, but most social settings and school settings don't really spark my interest. Unless something is really interesting to me or looks like a lot of fun, I'm just not really "on."

In social settings, I'm always the one to suggest going and doing something completely insane/crazy, while they are content chilling on a couch gossiping and talking about stuff that could put me to sleep. I'm always the catalyst of doing crazy stuff(I took my friends out on my boat in the middle of a hurricane, because we were sitting around looking for something to do). It doesn't take very much for my friends to have a good time, but for me I need to be doing something, rather than talking about stuff. I'm not saying that they are the problem, in fact I've noticed that its affecting other parts of my life so I can say that I'm the one with the issue, I just don't know how to fix it. I'm not passionate about anything...School, girlfriend(this has burned me alot, they keep telling me that I'm not really "there" in the relationship), friends, etc..The only thing I do seem to have alot of passion for is sports, probably because I can just burn energy easily playing a sport.

A buddy of mine commented recently that I don't seem to have any "drive".

It hit me because I can see how it relates to my entire life.

What are some strategies to kill this passive attitude toward life and get my mojo back?

 

[Quiksilver]

Haha, I've read that already. Good job finding it in the site.

Sorry bro, I'm not what you would call a Nice Guy. In fact, girls call me an *******, Jerk, Jock, User, Player, Wolf, Heartbreaker...I've only been told I'm Too Nice by one girl, and afew weeks later I had my hand up her shirt, so....no.

I drive over the speedlimit routinely(does 90 in a 50 count?).

I will say though that I'm not very aggressive. Not in most cases. Most times when somebody stands up to me, I'll put him in his place, or ask him if he wants to scrap, but I'm not usually the dude who makes a big show of force right there.

I also never let people walk all over me. Even before I came to this site, I always had backbone. It's just in most cases, people seem to get an emotional "rise" out of pushing other people's 'buttons', but I just don't really give a ****. That's why sometimes when people stand up to me, I just say "whatever" and walk the other way, because I truely dont give a ****. Should I pretend to?

Just talking about it now gives some insight for myself. It's not that I lack aggression, its that I don't play to peoples emotions at all. Almost like I have no heart, or emotions. I've been through alot, so they might just be buried or hidden to protect myself, but not consciously.

I think a better way to describe it is just that I don't have very much emotional attachement...to anything. to life, to people, to everything.

 

[djSlvt]

Im unable to speak for yourself, but the amount of my labido affects my agressiveness (i.e. opposite of passive).. What did it for me is stop jerking off. Effects are noticable on the 5th day..

If you jerk off you back to day one. Having sex is different, even if she dont make you *** and you jerk off, that still different.


There is a resonable nice testosterone thread in Healthy and Fitness forum, give it a go.

 

[knglerxt]

This is a long rant, so bear with me or hit your back button. I'm frustrated and in no mood for your **** either, so if you don't want to read it, well...

So I'm dating a nice guy now and it SUCKS. No other way to explain it, it just SUCKS. He's no challenge. He agrees with everything I say. He's got it all though - a decent job, a nice house, no kids, no psycho ex-wives, and he's tall and cute. Anyone ever seen that Friends episode when Alec Baldwin played Phoebe's boyfriend?? YEAH, my boyfriend is THAT nice. He's just too ****ing nice. Nice is boring. I've never heard him raise his voice. He's never aggressive. He has no edge. He won't even drive over the speed limit and that ****ing annoys the **** out of me, yet I sit in the passenger seat and keep my mouth shut... watching everyone whiz by us.

And don't get me started on the sex. Oh, excuse me... making love. After he cums (note I didn't mention anything about ME cumming), he rolls over and says "Oh, that was nice" with a little sigh. I KID YOU NOT, he says it EVERY TIME and then he sighs like he has just woken from a refreshing nap. I finally got so tired of missionary and him looking lovingly into my eyes and smiling as he came, that I threw him down on the couch one night and mounted him. At first he was terrified - yes, TERRIFIED. He thought something had possessed me. And it HAD -- it was sheer MADNESS. I ****ed the **** out of him that night. And then he sighed and said "Oh, that was nice".

Now that we had the cowgirl position conquered (always with that sigh afterwards), it was time to move on to doggie. His ex-girlfriend never did doggie (hmmm... maybe there's a "nice" ex-girlfriend to blame for his timid niceness?? That *****...). Anyway, I digress. I tell him I want him to **** me from behind. Yes, I used the word "****" and I didn't care what he thought about it. He gets behind me and enters me, and damned if he didn't say "OH, THIS IS NICE" !!! Are there any 35 y/o men out there that haven't smacked a woman's ass when doing her doggie?? YES, and he's my boyfriend!

Tonight during sex, I think I'm gonna tell him to stick his finger in my ass when I'm riding him. THAT should be interesting.

So for the nice guys out there, my advice is this: It's great that you're nice (to an extent), but have some backbone. Don't be a spine donor all your life. When your girl is out of line, say something. Don't let her walk all over you. Occasionally, be a "bad" boy (being bad doesn't translate to abusive or criminal). Say "No" to her sometimes. Raise your voice and be heard. Say something dirty/sexy to her occasionally. Drink a few too many beers and piss out in public. Smack her ass. Don't ever use the word NICE to describe things, especially sex (okay, that may be a personal pet peeve). Have an interest in at LEAST one sport (or pretend to). Drive 5-10 miles over the speed limit once in awhile. Run an old lady off the road just for kicks (yeah, I'm kidding about this one... just ride her bumper for a few miles). Be aggressive during sex. Take off those damn white socks and Jesus sandals. Grow a goatee for a few weeks. Shave your balls. Stray from your routine and shake things up.

BE A MAN FOR GOD'S SAKE... and the women will fall at your feet.

Whew... THAT FELT NICE.

This guy must not be too bad. She's still with him. This girl sounds like a psycho. Who cares how fast the guy drives?!