Keeps asking for vulnerability.

[M Musashi]

Hi everyone,

I've been seeing a plate for almost 4 months now, she may have LTR potential in the near future - stuff like going out of her way to buy and cook great meals for me. I banged her the day after her 3 year relationship finished and have banged her most weekends in the past 4 months.

In the beginning she seemed to be pushing for exclusivity quite quickly, but I compromised frame a few times with things such as: staying the night too many times post sex and eye gazing. I f'ed up bad one time when she said "thanks for having lunch with me" to which I responded, "It's fine, I like spending time with you", there have been a couple instances like that. After a few of those instances she noticeably hinted less towards LTR. But since I've regained frame (to some extent) she's ramped up the random nood shots and has been saying things like "I got more than I bargained for with you" and "if you meet my friends(who live on other side of the planet) a fair few times. She's actually also ramped up the fitness tests too.

Now I'm at the point where she's sending me YT videos on vulnerability and saying we need to talk about stuff. I get that vulnerability can be done (No More Mr. Nice Guy book) without being a total weenie simp about it. BUT that's something I reserve only for an LTR, if she asked for commitment I would likely say yes.

So, my question. When she brings up all this vulnerability stuff, what do - do I just tell her straight up something to the ring of "That's not something for girls I'm casual with", what approach would you take? I think a problem here is I may be wanting the LTR to happen more than I realize and I'm almost trying to find ways to get her to ask.

Cheers

 

[ubercat]

Fuk no. She wants a puppy dog she needs to buy one. if you go down this path 3 months later I guarantee she will tell you she's just not feeling it anymore. Tell her that s wot her g/FS r for.

 

[M Musashi]

Yeah there's no way I'd ever be vulnerable with a girl who is plate status.

"You want a friend, buy a dog", perfect.

 

[ubercat]

And remember never about you always about them. You r testing her for ltr. Politely deflect her tests and if she keeps pushy ignore.

 

[ubercat]

Buddy politeness if helped then rep. Otherwise the younglings don't know who to listen to. and the board gets taken over by guys r even crazier than me

 

[lamath]

Im telling you they are all a bit crazy.
Come on ....you dont ****in ask someone to tell you their vulnerability.


That should be your anwser " its not something you ask for"

 

[M Musashi]

@Uber I'm a total noob at forums. I appreciate the response. What did you mean by "And remember never about you always about them", the nature of conversations should be about them and not me?

@Iammath Yeah you're right, she was smuggling it in as personal growth stuff

 

[AttackFormation]

She is having some fun sharing her female daydreams with you, like that girl who asked which color i thought my soul was when i was an early teen. I dont think she expects or wants you to actually do what she says. This girl "likes a challenge" as they sometimes say and is allergic to being pursued, based on what youve said.

The problem here is you showing your feelings for her will push her away, like @ubercat said. Especially because she's on the rebound. On the other hand, there is also the perspective that if she is turned off by that then shes not ltr material anyway. You can choose which perspective to take. Personally this case sounds to me like the first ingredient of the recipe for a codependent disaster.

The women here would probably say something like all she wants is for you to open up. In this case i agree with them, because itll hopefully set you right when it turns her off which i guarantee it will, and which you seem to need.

 

[M Musashi]

@AttackFormation

Yeap I knew coming into this that she was on the rebound. I guess I thought it had the possibility of me not being rebound meat because she started talking to me months before her relationship ended (in mutual setting, I wasn't wasting time messaging or anything). I know better, that's how they make their exit - they plan.

Funny you should say that, she opened up not long after this post saying "I'm going to see a psychologist, one thing I wanted to tell you and talk to the psych about is that I get bored in relationships and tend to take advantage of guys".

Fookin' hilarious really,

I've had my head down with work/training and been out of the game for awhile. If a girl said the above to me a few years ago, about taking advantage, she'd be an immediate '30minute once a week' type plate. Yet here I am considering LTR because she shows interested by cooking.

I have let myself get too f'n soft.

Problem solved, she wants vulnerability, she'll get some (truth, not being a weak kunt about it) and get demoted to low plate status. Then she'll ghost and I'll get the wake up call I need.

 

[AttackFormation]

@AttackFormation

Yeap I knew coming into this that she was on the rebound. I guess I thought it had the possibility of me not being rebound meat because she started talking to me months before her relationship ended (in mutual setting, I wasn't wasting time messaging or anything). I know better, that's how they make their exit - they plan.

Funny you should say that, she opened up not long after this post saying "I'm going to see a psychologist, one thing I wanted to tell you and talk to the psych about is that I get bored in relationships and tend to take advantage of guys".

Fookin' hilarious really,

I've had my head down with work/training and been out of the game for awhile. If a girl said the above to me a few years ago, about taking advantage, she'd be an immediate '30minute once a week' type plate. Yet here I am considering LTR because she shows interested by cooking.

I have let myself get too f'n soft.

Problem solved, she wants vulnerability, she'll get some (truth, not being a weak kunt about it) and get demoted to low plate status. Then she'll ghost and I'll get the wake up call I need.

This post tells me you are a sensible guy at heart which is what's important. This stuff can happen to all of us from time to time, we are just mammals, but now it looks to me like you will come out of this fine.

Not the least surprised about what the said - I would've been more surprised if something like that wasn't the case. As you know, you learn to see these things after a while. It was crystal clear to me reading your OP what kind of girl this probably is and there we go.

Good ending to your post imo. Just do what you want to or need to do, no fear, accept whatever the consequences are, forgive yourself and move on.

 

[M Musashi]

Appreciate it brother

 

[Dash Riprock]

This topic came up a few weeks ago. Generally, I don't see how being vulnerable can help you look like a strong, confident, take no s*hit, take care of business man. My comment on the post was I do show a soft side (5-10% of me) to my dog, children, elderly, and other animals. So by transference, she can see I'm not a stone-cold, heartless man. Plus, I'm big on touch and physical connection so I do "show" her my interest and affection in other ways.

BUT, to curl up in the fetal position and share my darkest, deepest fears, well, that's just not me. Nor recommended.

Ironically, if you were do this, be vulnerable, I would bet a large sum of money she'd lose a major chunk of interest within two weeks, maybe sooner. Makes no sense, because that's what she SAID she wanted, but her DNA programming is saying "beta male/wimp."

 

[ubercat]

What I meant is that there is some gap in her soul which has been amply demonstrated.

Generally chicks don't take accountability. So the problem she is having will often be presented as something you need to solve. Just deflect.

just say not really guy stuff babe but yeah that sounds tough and you absolutely should talk about it with your girlfriends....sister...toy poodle whatev

 

[AttackFormation]

What I meant is that there is some gap in her soul which has been amply demonstrated.

Generally chicks don't take accountability. So the problem she is having will often be presented as something you need to solve. Just deflect.

just say not really guy stuff babe but yeah that sounds tough and you absolutely should talk about it with your girlfriends....sister...toy poodle whatev

The thing with accountability and her problems being presented as something you need to solve reminds me in general of one of the best words with women... NO. Can you do this for me? NO. Can you carry this for me? NO. Can you solve this for me? NO. Can you be like this for me? NO. Can you listen to me just whine about this? NO, I am not your girlfriend.

Just like they like when you tell them what to do, women like when you tell them no and in general when you put them in their place. They are used to guys having no spine, being eager to please their every whim, soon enough she starts making requests just to test if he actually respects himself, and then it's downhill. When you do something like refuse to carry a woman's handbag even for a short moment, standing there and looking straight at her with a nice smile, she will hate that she likes you for it and you'll see it on her. That's my experience. "You ****er!" *arm slap*.