KEEPING women attracted

[ChapStick]

I have no problem attracting women to me. They seem to just come to me with high interest levels, but those interest levels don't go deeper than the physical...

I'm not trying to brag, but I'm trying to give some background. I believe I'm a somewhat decent looking guy. I'm 6' 1", I keep my skin nice, I jog daily, eat healthy, and I dress fashionably, yet while women will say I'm cute, attractive, etc... I am unable to keep them interested for longer than short periods of time!

Several of my women friends have told me it's because I don't seem like the type of guy that would take a relationship seriously. If that's the case, how can I turn this around and be the guy that women will want to be in a relationship with, instead of women thinking I'm a "player" even though I'm nothing of the sort, nor do I want to be!

Yeah, I'm sure you guys are all thinking, wtf?! I simply would prefer a relationship with one woman vs. attracting many and it having no meaning to me. It was great before, but I believe that I've matured enough to deserve something better and more meaningful.

Any suggestions? There is this girl that I've met and she asked me out to some local concert. She has already told me that she thinks I'm attractive, but she doesn't believe that I'm a nice guy! This girl hardly knows me! She's such a cool chick, and I'd like to be able to try something different than have things head to the way they usually do.

Thanks guys!

 

[I.A.F.Y.B.]

I made a post before about keep Interest in a girl while in a LTR. But, the same thing can apply for when you first start dating.

Here is the link http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=136122

 

[ChapStick]

IAFYB, excellent thread! Thanks man!

 

[Rebound Material]

I got a little contribution too.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=115512

A little changes have been made since I last posted this, but I hope it helps. My original thread and the response by Vulpine is what you should read.

 

[logicallefty]

Great thread.. I think we meed more discussions like this about how to keep a relationship going once we have it..

The single biggest DJ I know in real life, the ex-coworker who referred me to this site when he saw how AFC I was, summed it up and said this: "Be a complete DJ to get the chicks, 5th gear.. Then back off to maybe 3rd or 4th gear as you move forward in a serious LTR. But never completely back off of being a DJ, and most importantly, know the signs of falling IL and know when it's time to kick back into 5th gear again".

 

[Interceptor]

I have no problem attracting women to me. They seem to just come to me with high interest levels, but those interest levels don't go deeper than the physical...

I'm not trying to brag, but I'm trying to give some background. I believe I'm a somewhat decent looking guy. I'm 6' 1", I keep my skin nice, I jog daily, eat healthy, and I dress fashionably, yet while women will say I'm cute, attractive, etc... I am unable to keep them interested for longer than short periods of time!

Several of my women friends have told me it's because I don't seem like the type of guy that would take a relationship seriously. If that's the case, how can I turn this around and be the guy that women will want to be in a relationship with, instead of women thinking I'm a "player" even though I'm nothing of the sort, nor do I want to be!

Yeah, I'm sure you guys are all thinking, wtf?! I simply would prefer a relationship with one woman vs. attracting many and it having no meaning to me. It was great before, but I believe that I've matured enough to deserve something better and more meaningful.

Any suggestions? There is this girl that I've met and she asked me out to some local concert. She has already told me that she thinks I'm attractive, but she doesn't believe that I'm a nice guy! This girl hardly knows me! She's such a cool chick, and I'd like to be able to try something different than have things head to the way they usually do.

Thanks guys!

What are YOU offering THEM by way of Relationships? In other words, what are you interactions consisting of?

Do you have meaningful conversations with them?
are you afraid of being exposed or vulnerable?
Are you acting very guraded and distant?

What kind of emotional intimacy do you offer the women in your life?

When they want to share something with you, do you distance yourself and become emotionally unavailable?

Are you easily distracted?Have a hard time maintaining focus on them, eye contact? Are you a good listener?

Do you understand what masculine romance is and accepting of that?

Do you shut off your feelings, or are you aware of them and are in control of them?

If theres a problem do you run away, or do you try to solve it or at least be supportive?

Remember, being viable and desired for your exclusive LTR qualities mean you have to add another dimension to yourself and your personality. This means that you have to be able to be COMFORTABLE Giving and Sharing AND maintain your Standards, Dignity, Self Respect and INTEGRITY At ALL TIMES too. YOU have to be able to 'put your foot down' and be able to walk away, no matter how much you love her.
Your resources are precious, RESPECT them. And if SHE doesn't , YOU WALK AWAY.



You may want to read this too:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=144038