Keeping the Girl

[we all eat food]

This is always my biggest problem, when i first get with a girl, im always so smooth, and i make the girl like me a lot, but after that I get awkward and become so AFC, like i become mute and insecure about everything. Why does this keep happening? It seems this happens with every girl I meet.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

I'm sorry but I think it has a lot to do with self-esteem, and caring. When you don't care a lot about a girl, you could care less who she's banging, where she's going at night, etc. Maybe just tell her, "It's amazing how much I care for you. The other night, I was wondering what you were up to. Not that I want you to not have fun, I'm just always thinking about you."

That's a safe way to open up some communication, so you may feel like you don't have to worry about her that much.

Just keep worrying about doing your thing, try not to get too attached too quickly.

 

[Mavrick]

It happens because you think the worst. When she hasn't called, you start playing the victim. "Why hasn't she called? I must not be good enough." The more you show her you feel that way, the more she's going to believe it, too. If she hasn't called, so what? Did you die? No, you did not.

You have to shrug things off and have your own life. You have to show her that you're not sitting around waiting for her, otherwise, she'll do whatever the heck she wants to do while you wait around. You have to be interesting to keep her interested. You can't let yourself be too available and let yourself hang out there in the breeze and get crapped on.

You have to love yourself more than you love anyone else. You have to respect yourself more than respect anyone else, too. If you wouldn't do it to yourself, don't let others do it to you. Don't sit there and and ask why this keeps happening. Change! Don't allow it to happen.

Don't call too much, otherwise, you'll appear weak and too available.
Don't get mad when she hasn't called or can't come over, or you'll just look like you can't handle being alone. That's a very unattractive quality. It just shows that have no life. That's unattractive, too. Do not let your world revolve around another person. Ever! Let your world revolve around you, and you'll see your relationships change.

 

[dannyegg4575]

This is always my biggest problem, when i first get with a girl, im always so smooth, and i make the girl like me a lot, but after that I get awkward and become so AFC, like i become mute and insecure about everything. Why does this keep happening? It seems this happens with every girl I meet.

if I'm reading this right, I'm guessing that what you're saying is, every relationship you got yourself into, you got comfortable and you become a wuss. You become insecure about your life and where to take your life.

I fell into this trap in the past too... I became insecure because i had nothing going for me. yes, you did not prioritize your life properly. If you had things going for you, work/money/lifestyle, etc... you have nothing to worry about because the chick is just there for the ride. As soon as you make her your priority, you want to make her happy right? you place her on a level higher than your own.

You gave up your goals, you gave up your friends, you gave up your health.

You started giving up what you used to love doing.

See, you're suppose to have all your sh>ts together before getting into a relationship with someone. Not the other way around. A woman can not give you that value. Being a DJ for a few years now, I turned AFC a few months ago, i finally pieced everything together internally. Not philosophical sense but living it sense. YOU HAVE TO FIND YOUR PASSION IN LIFE.

This is wisdom passed down to me by my parents that I tuned out when I was a kid.

And even when you have your sh>ts together and getting into a relationship with someone, remember, she's just along for the ride. You're not suppose to carry her baggage with you. If you are, you better make sure you're strong enough emotionally as well as physically. otherwise, she'll drag you down along with her miserable drama queen life. So, choose and choose wisely before you "get into a relationship".

a mature woman like Lovelylady, i don't mind marrying. anyone with that kind of character, I'll marry her. But before you even considering marriage, grow yourself up first. Because marriage requires maturity. without it, everything dies.

 

[eyedea40]

It happens because you think the worst. When she hasn't called, you start playing the victim. "Why hasn't she called? I must not be good enough." The more you show her you feel that way, the more she's going to believe it, too. If she hasn't called, so what? Did you die? No, you did not.

You have to shrug things off and have your own life. You have to show her that you're not sitting around waiting for her, otherwise, she'll do whatever the heck she wants to do while you wait around. You have to be interesting to keep her interested. You can't let yourself be too available and let yourself hang out there in the breeze and get crapped on.

You have to love yourself more than you love anyone else. You have to respect yourself more than respect anyone else, too. If you wouldn't do it to yourself, don't let others do it to you. Don't sit there and and ask why this keeps happening. Change! Don't allow it to happen.

Don't call too much, otherwise, you'll appear weak and too available.
Don't get mad when she hasn't called or can't come over, or you'll just look like you can't handle being alone. That's a very unattractive quality. It just shows that have no life. That's unattractive, too. Do not let your world revolve around another person. Ever! Let your world revolve around you, and you'll see your relationships change.

This is the most solid piece of info you are going to hear, this man knows what hes talking about....