That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Date other women.Bossman90 said:What is a good way to keep your girl from talking to the ex, so you don't have to deal with the possibility of her cheating?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
He's not good looking. HE also has no money, but pretends like he does.bigneil said:Tell her how handsome he is and that she should marry him.
That poor guy...he must've taken it very hard and really liked you. Give him the time of day if it doesn't work out with your current BF. That guy needs some closurepinkfl said:It depends entirely on the frequency of the conversations with the ex and what the topics are about.
If she's ditching you on a date because her ex called, that's messed up.
If it's work/school related, and that's all they ever talk about, and it's fairly infrequent, I don't think it's anything to worry about.
A girl that is really, truly in love will tell an ex off if she feels he is trying to start trouble in her current relationship, and she won't do anything to betray your trust. Plain and simple. The conversations will be like ones that are between friends and she won't drop everything to talk to them.
I have two ex's I'm thinking of when I write this. One has tried to stir up drama (constantly texting, calling me, flirting with me, threatening to start trouble with my boyfriend, etc) in my relationship, so I blocked his number and told him off and never spoke to him again.
The other is in the same professional program as me. We only discuss work and school and it only happens maybe once every couple months.
rum said:That poor guy...he must've taken it very hard and really liked you. Give him the time of day if it doesn't work out with your current BF. That guy needs some closure
Or if he finds a new GF...he'll just fade away on his own.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Pretty much. Give them enough rope and see if they hang themselves with it.sylvester the cat said:the only way you can tell whether someone is trustworthy or not...is to trust them.
If you follow this mantra you're going to be showing your insecurity and limiting your pool of potential women. Any good quality women would run a mile if you tried to tell her who she could be friends with. This attitude is paramount to psychological abuse. You should be confident enough in your self to not have to worry who she is friends with.PrettyBoyAJ said:Before you get in a relationship with any female you need to lay down the law. Let them know that it's not cool to talk to any exes. It's not cool to hang out with any dudes one on one. If they can't agree to these things then you shouldn't date them period. That simple.
Honestly, if you verbalize these boundaries to her you're going to seem clingy, controlling, unreasonable.PrettyBoyAJ said:Before you get in a relationship with any female you need to lay down the law. Let them know that it's not cool to talk to any exes. It's not cool to hang out with any dudes one on one. If they can't agree to these things then you shouldn't date them period. That simple.
not saying you're lying...but this is very very strange. Guys who break up with a girl usually never crawl back...it's the guy who's been dumped who resorts to the behavior that you're describing.pinkfl said:No, he just didn't know when to quit.
We dated for two months, and he broke up with me.
We didn't speak for a few months and then he started talking to me again but the conversations all went the same way: "Hey, I miss you, oh, you are still with him? Well do you remember when we went to the beach? I want to do that again with you. I really miss you. Break up with him"
Keep in mind I definitely did not promote this behavior, it would come out of the blue when I least expected it (usually at 2 AM I'd wake up to a bunch of texts in this vein)
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.