"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Keeping ex's around for social proof

sexxyback

Senior Don Juan
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I usually don't keep in touch with ex's after we break up. I am thinking maybe starting 2007 I will try to maintain a good friendship with ex gf's, and even maybe start hanging out with them, just for social proof. Do you think it is worth it? These are ex's I used to have bad oneitis for, but now I could just use some pivots to help my game.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Livinlifehard

Don Juan
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as a FB fine... but your going to get attached again if you had bad oneitis probley
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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I agree if she's just a FB but I can't think that having an ex hang around will help you out socially.
 

Thomas94305

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You'd run the risk of your ex's jealousy, even if "it's over". You'd talk with other gals, she'd be a negative wing, saying this and that bad thing about whom you talk with, she might want to leave early..etc. That's the risk.

What if your ex called you up, and wanted to use you as social proof at a party, etc? You walk around, while she is really trying to attract other males. You'd be tempted to c*ck block.

However, Mystery does advocate the use of "pawns". I've hung out with gals that are just friends, and were never more than that. It really does make conversing with other women easier. I get looked at, then I open and their IL is higher.

My personal advice is to not misuse anyone, especially an ex.. she and you shared for a time. If she's up for going to an event, and it's clear you are both singles, you may want to try. But, treat the first outing as a learning experience, don't expect it to work.
 
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