"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Keeping challenge frame

Life-Trainee

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I got a number from a chick with BF. This girl showed major IOIs towards me for the past half year but I have been unavailable to her cuz I was in a relationship. Meanwhile she got a complete AFC still virgin BF (her female friend told me that she's been holding out with this guy even after 1.5 months of dating!). I don't think he's gonna be an obstacle, so he don't concern me.

My every interaction with this girl has been very ****y & funny. I'd completely ignore her presence while entertaining her friends unless she contributed something of interest to me in a conversation.

I'm concerned that I won't be able to keep up the challenge frame. Cuz I never had to be much of a challenge in my previous relationship, cuz the chick did everything for me on her own will.

This girl is exponetionally hotter (HB8 + $ career) than my Ex-GF, and I'm not experienced at all handling chicks who know their value.

I got her digits on thursday so I'm thinking of giving her a call early this week.
My plan is to call and set up a get together towards the end of the week, while assuming her BF is non-existant.

How do you guys think I should proceed?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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JJMcLure

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Maybe recalibrate what you consider "challenge" means. It doesn't necessarily mean "not interested" or "dismissive".

Acting ****y and funny 24/7 or continually in a one on one soon gets old - you can only have a superficial interaction and can't deepen rapport. Ignoring her worked in the group attraction stage, but now you have to move on from that in a one on one - you can use teasing to your advantage at this stage. She knows you're interested now you are asking her out. Time to get her to qualify herself - Mystery's line "what have you got going for you other than your looks" would be an apropriate mindset. It's key overall though to remain congruent to the person she has seen in the past.

I'm not experienced at all handling chicks who know their value.
The only workable long term "defence" is knowing your value. Be sure you don't consider her above your worth - that's like having her on a pedestal. Chicks who "know" their value are just as insecure inside, often more so - they are so concerned their looks will fade. There is nothing magical or special about them. You don't need to play games - just be confident, decisive and be busy having a life.

The BF doesn't have to come up, if she mentions him just ignore the comment.
 

biker_gixxer

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This girl is exponetionally hotter (HB8 + $ career) than my Ex-GF, and I'm not experienced at all handling chicks who know their value.


She only has value if you give it to her. Listen to JJ's advice...
 

Life-Trainee

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Little update,

I called her up last night offering to hang out on Saturday.
Saturday isn't good for her (girls night out with her best friend, my bud's GF)
and Sunday wasn't good either, cuz that's her boyfriend time.

She did counteroffer by asking if I was doing anything on friday. I said I didn't know yet. So she's supposed to either call me when she goes out with her best friend or she will join me and my regular friends on friday.

Not exactly my idea of an isolated date. I think she's probing waters to see if I'm worthy upgrading to?

I'll turn up rapport next time I see her. Would it be a good idea to just blatantly ask her to hang out one on one after i meet her on friday?
 

Nighthawk

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The best thing you can do is to make her believe you have other offers and she needs to move fast.

Also, bear in mind if you are looking for a LTR with this girl that she is in the habit of lining up her new bf while still seeing the old one.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Life-Trainee

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Nighthawk said:
The best thing you can do is to make her believe you have other offers and she needs to move fast.

Also, bear in mind if you are looking for a LTR with this girl that she is in the habit of lining up her new bf while still seeing the old one.
I know she wants me. I reacted with complete indifference to her attempts at making me jealous by mentioning her afc bf. But at the time I was still in LTR. However, when I got out of LTR i broadcasted to everyone that I was single lol. So the word must've got to her. In this situation I know I'm the better man.

Dilemma for me is figuring out how to setup alone time with her. Most likely I won't be able to pull the isolation take-away in the group setting this upcoming weekend.
 

xblitz44x

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Life-Trainee said:
This girl is exponetionally hotter (HB8 + $ career) than my Ex-GF, and I'm not experienced at all handling chicks who know their value.
Just because you perceive her as 'valueable' doesn't mean that she perceives herself that way. A lot of hot, wealthy women perceive themselves as total dogsh*t ("I'm ugly, I'm fat, I'm old, yada yada).

You don't have to play this any different than you'd play another hand. She's not different, or more difficult; that's only in your head.
 

Life-Trainee

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Weekend came and went, didn't hear from her. I didn't waste time either, went to parties and had good time. Won't call anymore. I'll write her off as a flake until worthwhile interest is displayed. I realized where I screwed up. Shouldn't have accepted her "counter offer" and left it up to her to either call me on friday. "Friday's not good for me, let's do it some other time" i shoulda said.
 
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