It's insane how much material exists both here and all over the internet on how to get girls, but when it comes to keeping girls, there's a sudden shortage. Even the Don Juan bible has less than ten articles on the subject! What a shame! I've heard a large number of guys complain over and over again: "Man, I got the HB of my dreams! Now what? How do I make sure she never leaves me? How do I stay attractive? Should I stop using DJ techniques? HELP!" This, my fellow Don Juan brothers, is my attempt to do just that. But first, some background.
Years ago, like many (perhaps all) of you here, I was the AFC of AFCs. I had mad oneitis for a girl who was
The next day, I discovered SoSuave, Don Juanism, the DJ Bible, Pook, Anti-Dump, and all of the magical wonders of this way of life. I had much to learn! And learn I did. I did the DJ Boot Camp, I read the DJ Bible, I worked endless hours on myself, got the phone numbers, called the girls, got the dates. Ah! It's working! Yes! Oh? What's this? This girl... she actually likes me! A lot! She wants to pursue a relationship! Oh joy! My first girlfriend! Yuss! Oh wait... if she's my girlfriend... that means we can break up! Oh no! I hope she doesn't leave me! Oh my! I must maintain her interest level! Oh gosh! I hope I don't lose her! OH NOES! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T BREAK UP WITH ME!
Obviously, she did. She left me. There I was: broken, sad, destroyed, confused. I would look at old pictures of us together, read old messages we had exchanged, dream about what it would've been like if we were still together, but all of it in vain – she was gone. Why did she leave? Well, they say they leave because "it's not the right time" or "we're moving too fast" or "I just need some space" or "I'm not ready yet". I could list out all the things women say. The fact of the matter is this: she lost interest. She didn't want to be together anymore, and so she ended it.
As much as she says otherwise (and she will say otherwise), this is why they leave. After all, why would you put an end to something you want, like, love and enjoy that doesn't harm you but enriches you? Who says things like "Oh, I need to stop making so much money! I love it, but I need some space!" or "I need to get rid of my comfortable luxurious house. Now's not the time. It's moving too fast and I need space!"? No. She doesn't want you, so she left.
"Why didn't she want me?! She said she did in the beginning! That's why we were in this relationship in the first place!"
Exactly. Something changed for the worse along the way. Something significant. Something way more significant than your bank balance, your employment status, your house, your car, your physique. Women will stay with you despite all of those failings in a committed relationship. What changed? Your sexuality. Think back to when the relationship began. When y'all were star-crossed lovers. When y'all enjoyed the taste of each other. When y'all couldn't keep your hands off each other. Back when the crippling fear of losing her had not set in. Do you see it? The difference?
You didn't care. You had no investment in her. She was just another girl. Her absence would not have been that much of a big deal. Her saying "I'm moving away and probably won't see you ever again" would not have bothered you in the slightest. Your having to move away and the thought of never seeing her ever again would not have perturbed you in the least. And look at you now! "Please don't leave me! I don't know what I'd do if you left me! Oh no, she left me! I don't know who I am anymore!" Ah, this relationship, the fear of losing your girl has robbed you of your balls. It has castrated you, turned you into a lesser man; an extremely unattractive man. After all, if a girl leaving you would destroy you so much, how could you possibly provide for and protect her from the other nasties in the world?
"What are you saying then? What should I have done differently? How might I have kept her?"
By being a man. By being a Don Juan. By staying on the path of self-improvement and aspiring to be all that you can be regardless of her, by simply being happy with or without her. If she leaves, so what? There are billions of other girls around. If she stays, that's cool too. You keep a girl by being outcome independent. You keep a girl by not being emotionally attached to someone other than yourself because the truth is this: other people will fail you.
No no, Don Juan, your joy does not come from other human beings. What you did was you started worshiping this girl as if she were God. When God tells his people "I will never leave you nor forsake you", he means it, and so his people worship him for it. Here's a newsflash: your girlfriend, as angelic as she may seem, is not God. When you treat her as God, it puts way too much pressure on her that she cannot bear. As a result, the relationship cracks and breaks.
To keep a relationship healthy, you've got to know who you are and what you want. You've got to have a life. Your girl cannot be your life. If she is, it's only a matter of time until the relationship crashes and burns under the weight it cannot bear. You've got to know what you want. Do you want a clingy girl who gets mad if you don't text her back within 5 minutes? Do you want a girl who forbids you from talking to other girls while she's constantly on the phone with 3 new men everyday? No?
Then why did you put up with her when she did those things in the relationship instead of dumping her and moving on?! Why did you fight about it and seek to change her behavior instead of dumping her and moving on? Bro, there's a reason you date before you marry. When you come across something you don't approve of, something you won't put up with, you don't try and change it – you end the relationship and find a girl who satisfies you better. After all, you're a Don Juan. You deserve the best. You don't change her, you dump her. You walk away.
Walking away is arguably the most powerful thing a Don Juan can do in a relationship, and must always be a route that you are willing to go so long as you're in a dating relationship. She must know that if you're unsatisfied, you'll walk, and work all the more harder to keep you satisfied. This fear of you walking away and knowing that you'll be perfectly happy and content without her will keep her pleasing you every glorious day that the two of you spend together and will keep the relationship vibrant and alive. After all, why wouldn't you be happy to walk away if the relationship sucks? It was a horrible relationship and now you're free! Hoorah!
It's worth mentioning here that you are to be a gentleman in the relationship. Don't you dare be a demanding jerk who orders her around and treats her like crap and then walks away when she refuses to play your stupid game. Instead, lead her with love. Make it a joy for her to serve you, make it her pleasure to obey and please her man. Let her do good things to you, let her spoil you because she wants to, not because she fears you'll walk away. Don't be an abusive joke of a man, be a Don Juan. Give her the best time of her life, and she'll gladly be with you for the rest of her life and give you the best time of yours.
Years ago, like many (perhaps all) of you here, I was the AFC of AFCs. I had mad oneitis for a girl who was
- Unattractive. Looking back now, I see all her imperfections that I had previously overlooked. At the time, I was so in love with the idea of having a girlfriend (and not so much the actual girl) that I had lowered my standards and overlooked her unattractive qualities just for the sake of having one. Hear this, men: this is a grave mistake. Love the girl, not the idea of having one.
- Uninterested in me. I was the proverbial emotional tampon and best friend. Whenever we made plans to "hang out", she'd flake if something more fun came up, and let's face it: anything is more fun than being with a ballless AFC, amen? Whenever the topic of being more than friends came up, she'd say "nooooo I don't want to ruin our friendship" by way of letting me down easy. She'd often joke about me being one of her girlfriends, say things like "wait, you have balls?! hahaha!" and talk about her abusive boyfriend, seeking comfort in my arms. I loved her like zombies love brains in spite of all of that.
The next day, I discovered SoSuave, Don Juanism, the DJ Bible, Pook, Anti-Dump, and all of the magical wonders of this way of life. I had much to learn! And learn I did. I did the DJ Boot Camp, I read the DJ Bible, I worked endless hours on myself, got the phone numbers, called the girls, got the dates. Ah! It's working! Yes! Oh? What's this? This girl... she actually likes me! A lot! She wants to pursue a relationship! Oh joy! My first girlfriend! Yuss! Oh wait... if she's my girlfriend... that means we can break up! Oh no! I hope she doesn't leave me! Oh my! I must maintain her interest level! Oh gosh! I hope I don't lose her! OH NOES! I HOPE SHE DOESN'T BREAK UP WITH ME!
Obviously, she did. She left me. There I was: broken, sad, destroyed, confused. I would look at old pictures of us together, read old messages we had exchanged, dream about what it would've been like if we were still together, but all of it in vain – she was gone. Why did she leave? Well, they say they leave because "it's not the right time" or "we're moving too fast" or "I just need some space" or "I'm not ready yet". I could list out all the things women say. The fact of the matter is this: she lost interest. She didn't want to be together anymore, and so she ended it.
As much as she says otherwise (and she will say otherwise), this is why they leave. After all, why would you put an end to something you want, like, love and enjoy that doesn't harm you but enriches you? Who says things like "Oh, I need to stop making so much money! I love it, but I need some space!" or "I need to get rid of my comfortable luxurious house. Now's not the time. It's moving too fast and I need space!"? No. She doesn't want you, so she left.
"Why didn't she want me?! She said she did in the beginning! That's why we were in this relationship in the first place!"
Exactly. Something changed for the worse along the way. Something significant. Something way more significant than your bank balance, your employment status, your house, your car, your physique. Women will stay with you despite all of those failings in a committed relationship. What changed? Your sexuality. Think back to when the relationship began. When y'all were star-crossed lovers. When y'all enjoyed the taste of each other. When y'all couldn't keep your hands off each other. Back when the crippling fear of losing her had not set in. Do you see it? The difference?
You didn't care. You had no investment in her. She was just another girl. Her absence would not have been that much of a big deal. Her saying "I'm moving away and probably won't see you ever again" would not have bothered you in the slightest. Your having to move away and the thought of never seeing her ever again would not have perturbed you in the least. And look at you now! "Please don't leave me! I don't know what I'd do if you left me! Oh no, she left me! I don't know who I am anymore!" Ah, this relationship, the fear of losing your girl has robbed you of your balls. It has castrated you, turned you into a lesser man; an extremely unattractive man. After all, if a girl leaving you would destroy you so much, how could you possibly provide for and protect her from the other nasties in the world?
"What are you saying then? What should I have done differently? How might I have kept her?"
By being a man. By being a Don Juan. By staying on the path of self-improvement and aspiring to be all that you can be regardless of her, by simply being happy with or without her. If she leaves, so what? There are billions of other girls around. If she stays, that's cool too. You keep a girl by being outcome independent. You keep a girl by not being emotionally attached to someone other than yourself because the truth is this: other people will fail you.
No no, Don Juan, your joy does not come from other human beings. What you did was you started worshiping this girl as if she were God. When God tells his people "I will never leave you nor forsake you", he means it, and so his people worship him for it. Here's a newsflash: your girlfriend, as angelic as she may seem, is not God. When you treat her as God, it puts way too much pressure on her that she cannot bear. As a result, the relationship cracks and breaks.
To keep a relationship healthy, you've got to know who you are and what you want. You've got to have a life. Your girl cannot be your life. If she is, it's only a matter of time until the relationship crashes and burns under the weight it cannot bear. You've got to know what you want. Do you want a clingy girl who gets mad if you don't text her back within 5 minutes? Do you want a girl who forbids you from talking to other girls while she's constantly on the phone with 3 new men everyday? No?
Then why did you put up with her when she did those things in the relationship instead of dumping her and moving on?! Why did you fight about it and seek to change her behavior instead of dumping her and moving on? Bro, there's a reason you date before you marry. When you come across something you don't approve of, something you won't put up with, you don't try and change it – you end the relationship and find a girl who satisfies you better. After all, you're a Don Juan. You deserve the best. You don't change her, you dump her. You walk away.
Walking away is arguably the most powerful thing a Don Juan can do in a relationship, and must always be a route that you are willing to go so long as you're in a dating relationship. She must know that if you're unsatisfied, you'll walk, and work all the more harder to keep you satisfied. This fear of you walking away and knowing that you'll be perfectly happy and content without her will keep her pleasing you every glorious day that the two of you spend together and will keep the relationship vibrant and alive. After all, why wouldn't you be happy to walk away if the relationship sucks? It was a horrible relationship and now you're free! Hoorah!
It's worth mentioning here that you are to be a gentleman in the relationship. Don't you dare be a demanding jerk who orders her around and treats her like crap and then walks away when she refuses to play your stupid game. Instead, lead her with love. Make it a joy for her to serve you, make it her pleasure to obey and please her man. Let her do good things to you, let her spoil you because she wants to, not because she fears you'll walk away. Don't be an abusive joke of a man, be a Don Juan. Give her the best time of her life, and she'll gladly be with you for the rest of her life and give you the best time of yours.
Last edited:
