I met this girl a couple weeks ago, we had a nice conversation and everything went smoothy. But I lost her number but I found her on facebook, but it turns out she has a boyfriend. At first I thought "Ah no point wasting my time, she's taken." The only thing we would really be is 'friends' at this point, and if you know me I am 100% against masquerading as a friend when you really want more. But I've been having second thoughts, and I've considered just hanging out with her. So what if she has a boyfriend, we can still hang out, she's attractive so it's social proof, and I might meet her friends in the process.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Keep her as a friend?
- Thread starter green69
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
LittleBigOne
Don Juan
If a girl is having a boyfriend you should respect that. Having contact with her because its giving you social proof sounds not good to me. Would that be the only reason to have contact with her? C'mon, she will know! And she is not gonna like that, that's abuse.
My advice is to make wider your horizon and see other girls. Read my post in the 'mature man' section and you will know why i give you this advice.
My advice is to make wider your horizon and see other girls. Read my post in the 'mature man' section and you will know why i give you this advice.
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
Nobody cares if she has a BF. The only one that should care is the girl. If she loves and respect her BF, then she wouldn't have lead you on, or gave you her number which lead you to think you had a chance and motivated you so that you had to find her no. via other means. I mean... what an effort.
I say go for it. Its almost impossible to not eventually hit on a chick you find attractive.
I say go for it. Its almost impossible to not eventually hit on a chick you find attractive.
LittleBigOne
Don Juan
MacDiddy said:
Social proof is not the only reason, obviously. I was just merely pointing out some of the potential benefits of having an attractive female friend. I'm not 'using' her for that, but if I'm her friend and there are other additional positive aspects who am I to complain?LittleBigOne said:
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
LittleBigOne
Don Juan
Sure, as long you respect her relationship. Have fun with her and keep your eyes open to all those other attractive women. And, if you want to keep good contact with her, act like a real Juan by not phoning her too much etc. Keep it cool and light.
afrojiggles
Don Juan
this is a loosers mind set so deviat from this and date the gal unless she is married ok? as she is still verily available for all and sundry,lolLittleBigOne said:
MacDiddy
Master Don Juan
WHO?
Who the fcuk cares... look at the massive divorce rates. look at the multiple relationships attractive men/women have before they settle down. a great deal of people don't give a $hit..
It all boils down to survival of the fittest. If you have an attractive GF and I sense a weakness, I'll go in for the kill.
Social proof isn't just having a woman near you and hoping it makes you more attractive to other women. Social proof is when you GET something out of it, and that something increases the curiousity of other women.
It's when she can get you into a venue without waiting in a long line. It's when she acts and talks you up in front of other women like a wingman does. Or it's when she comes down off of the stage after performing and sits down next to you. Or maybe she just has a ton of friends that can provide those things. Whatever that something is, it makes other women want to ask why you, why this guy. If you're not getting that, it's not social proof.
Talk to her. See what she's all about. If you don't think you can get something like that out of the friendship, you're just going to end up being her go to guy whenever she has issues with men and wants to know what they're thinking. That puts you into the "He's so sweet I would date him if I wasn't banging this guy" camp, which doesn't exactly help you score with her friends...well, except for that one fat, deperate, obnoxious chick that every hottie seems to have in tow...
It's when she can get you into a venue without waiting in a long line. It's when she acts and talks you up in front of other women like a wingman does. Or it's when she comes down off of the stage after performing and sits down next to you. Or maybe she just has a ton of friends that can provide those things. Whatever that something is, it makes other women want to ask why you, why this guy. If you're not getting that, it's not social proof.
Talk to her. See what she's all about. If you don't think you can get something like that out of the friendship, you're just going to end up being her go to guy whenever she has issues with men and wants to know what they're thinking. That puts you into the "He's so sweet I would date him if I wasn't banging this guy" camp, which doesn't exactly help you score with her friends...well, except for that one fat, deperate, obnoxious chick that every hottie seems to have in tow...