Keep having revenge feelings towards my ex after 4,5 years

[SayWhat]

Hi all

4,5 years ago my girlfriend broke up with me, in the meantime I didn't had any other girlfriend.

My ex is still part of my group of friends, but we hardly say anything toward each other. I have days were I feel good and be more talkative to her and during the following encounters, she's more talkative to me too.

But I can have days were I just don't want to say anything to her. Like today, I arrived at my friends, she was there and asked something specific to me. I just nodded and didn't even look her in the eyes. I guess I did it as a sort of punishment.

But I don't understand why this still happens after 4,5 f*cking years. During these years I only had one little fling (nothing even happened) but even then I couldn't get her completely out of my mind. I feel like I have to have a better life then her to show her what she has thrown away (I know it's ironic since I still have these pathetic revenge feelings and act ridiculous towards her and am still single after 4,5 years...).

Even though she has a boyfriend, I've heard from people she looks at me too often. And during this fling I had, I could tell she was a bit jealous.

Stupid b*itch is f*cking up my life

 

[TheException]

4,5 years ago my girlfriend broke up with me, in the meantime I didn't had any other girlfriend. During these years I only had one little fling.

The real problem^

Stupid b*itch is f*cking up my life

Not this^

You not having another girl to bust your load into is allowing your feelings for your ex to linger...its made even worse by her constant presence. Its just an ego thing now...you resent her for breaking up with you and it shows. As soon as you refocus your life and start setting and breaking some goals, women will soon enter the picture. And once they do....bust your load into a girl hotter than your ex....and i guarantee you....you wont be feeling this way about your ex anymore. She will literally be made irrelevant.

 

[Iceberg]

TheException hit the bullseye.

The only reason you still think about your ex is because you haven't been with any other girls in 5 years. Simple as that.

I don't even think about my ex's anymore. Mostly because I'm too busy dating other girls.

 

[jeffreylebowski]

Agree with others. It's reasonable to be upset after a breakup for a period of time. And for a time, other women won't really help you sort out your feelings and get your head on straight. But 4-5 years is a long time afterwards man. Other women aren't really a great fix in the short term, but eventually getting out there and dating others will help tremendously.

 

[SayWhat]

Thanks for the responses

This resentment for her breaking up with me, does this also effect meeting new people? I always have this feeling of people not liking me, even when I've not said a word... Is this just because she broke up with me and made me feel worthless?

About having hotter women, I don't know, I've been called good looking, but I guess I can't do much better then her...

 

[Iceberg]

Thanks for the responses

This resentment for her breaking up with me, does this also effect meeting new people? I always have this feeling of people not liking me, even when I've not said a word... Is this just because she broke up with me and made me feel worthless?

No.

Honestly, you're an adult. If someone breaking up with you destroys you so badly that you feel "worthless" then you're not cut out for 90% of the ups and downs that life throws at you.

You feel worthless because you're probably not doing anything worthwhile. Learn guitar. Hit the gym. Travel. Suddenly, you'll become an interesting, energetic person with cool stories and accomplishments.

In summary...you need to work on your confidence. And that's not about ex girlfriends. It's about you.

About having hotter women, I don't know, I've been called good looking, but I guess I can't do much better then her...

If you believe that, then it's true. Not much I can do for you there.

 

[SayWhat]

Thanks for the responses, but how should I act towards her? I want her out of my life, but since she's still part of my social life and can't loose all my friends because of her, I need a way with which I feel good.

Currently, like I said, I have days where I act quite normal, others where I'm just being a d*ck and ignore her as much as possible. This is not good for me, but being a d*ck comes from the thought of her being better then me...
Not thinking that is of course the solution, but easier said then done...