Keep checking her myspace

[guywhoneedshelp]

So upon the breakup, she was kinda unsure. I'd tell her, "just tell me never to talk to you again, and I wont"

but she'd kinda be like "i dunno". we exchanged some e-mails back and forth. she said she would call me when she's ready. I'm not sure if the call will ever come. I keep obsessively checking her myspace to see what she's up to. I've hooked up with 5 chicks since. 3 of the 5 oral, 1 of the 5 sex. others making out and some hand.

but for some reason I'm still wishing she'll call so we can work things out. we were together 13 months, I believe tomorrow would mark the 14th month (she kept track). I tried to negotiate with her and basically came to the conclusion that she just needed some time, and she said she would call me when she was ready. This is understandable, since we are both 20 years old, she's going through some changes with her house being for sale, and she just got her first car (which she's using to go see her friends who she feels she may not be able to see much when school lets back in.) however, she doesn't go to school, and works a cashier job 1 day a week.

i thought it would be reasonable to give her some time to get her life together, but instead she's basically using this time to party. what should I do? last contact to her was wednesday when I wrote her a huge e-mail pouring it all out. haven't spoke to her since. but she last messaged me last sunday. we were having some progress but I dunno what she's thinking because she wont really communicate her feelings.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Bad thing about this girl (besides her laziness) is she has a lot of male friends, is very gullible and oblivous to the fact that male friends are guys that want to bang the ever loving **** out of you. I think she is thriving off the male attention, replacing me with...all her male friends (some of them are gay)

which I saw as a red flag early in the relationship, but I was able to steer her in a more normal direction and she stopped hanging out with a lot of them.

your thoughts?

 

[Vlad the Impaler]

She's gone and she is never coming back.

Accept it now, don't look at her myspace.

Now, Go outside and talk to every cute girl you see and get some #'s. You can do it now, or waste your life pining away for this other girl.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

She's gone and she is never coming back.

Accept it now, don't look at her myspace.

Now, Go outside and talk to every cute girl you see and get some #'s. You can do it now, or waste your life pining away for this other girl.

I'm already doing that, but still in the back of my mind, when the day is done, I miss her, wish we could of worked it out, and begin to think that there may still be a chance.

So I dunno, I feel like I'm going to make the mistake of getting into a relationship again. I bet, the first girl that is hotter than her that I hook up with, and wants a relationship, I'll be sucked in. Only to be destroyed and spit out later...or maybe not? I am, after all, smarter now...

 

[Mr.Fantastic]

Delete her from your myspace, and block her if possible (this is possible on facebook) - if not, make your profile private in some way and move her off your friends list. I was doing the same with my ex on facebook, checking it obsessively. Its shiit, cos eventually her status will say 'in a relationship' ...and it wont be with you. Spare yourself this sick feeling in your gut and delete her, so you cant see her profile anymore. Funny thing is, if you do this she might ring you, my ex did. It's amazing how powerful myspace and facebook has become in our society - my ex was shocked that I had deleted her from facebook - first time it had ever happened to her, it really seemed to get to her.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Delete her from your myspace, and block her if possible (this is possible on facebook) - if not, make your profile private in some way and move her off your friends list. I was doing the same with my ex on facebook, checking it obsessively. Its shiit, cos eventually her status will say 'in a relationship' ...and it wont be with you. Spare yourself this sick feeling in your gut and delete her, so you cant see her profile anymore. Funny thing is, if you do this she might ring you, my ex did. It's amazing how powerful myspace and facebook has become in our society - my ex was shocked that I had deleted her from facebook - first time it had ever happened to her, it really seemed to get to her.

The first time I deleted her from Facebook it was because she saw some tagged photos of me in which a girl we know was rubbing my head. She thought I was cheating, so I deleted her so she wouldn't get the "new tagged photos!" message if anything like that happened again.

Her Mom later told me that she was crying for hours because I deleted for her. She eventually cried about it and I felt bad so I told her she could be back on my list.

Then we broke up and I deleted her from MySpace and Facebook and she didn't care. It's sick how MySpace and Facebook take a toll on our lives. They kill relationships. Same with texting. There is no such thing as exclusive time with your girl, because one text message will let her know that all her friends are together, and no matter what you 2 are in the middle of doing, off she goes. (sometimes)

Facebook and MySpace is rediculous. They are hookup websites also.

I can't stop checking her MySpace, I keep typing in her URL while I'm here at work. I also read her xanga which after reading it today I really think she might of cheated on me while we were together.

The thing about this relationship is that the way it ended has never made sense to me. I obsess over things until I come to an understanding. If I saw "in a relationship" on her MySpace I'd feel 10x better, because at least I'd know that now it's time to quit. I mean after all, I really don't want her back after someone else s pen15 has been in her.

I fell in love. And it sucks. I avoided commitment my whole life and then bam... girl comes out of nowhere when I was 19 and I fall, hard. I think I'm going to visit her at work...and try one last time...to talk this over...

 

[decades]

use this opportunity to realize you have oneitis and then overcome it.

 

[TheBaconator]

The first time I deleted her from Facebook it was because she saw some tagged photos of me in which a girl we know was rubbing my head. She thought I was cheating, so I deleted her so she wouldn't get the "new tagged photos!" message if anything like that happened again.

Her Mom later told me that she was crying for hours because I deleted for her. She eventually cried about it and I felt bad so I told her she could be back on my list.

Then we broke up and I deleted her from MySpace and Facebook and she didn't care. It's sick how MySpace and Facebook take a toll on our lives. They kill relationships. Same with texting. There is no such thing as exclusive time with your girl, because one text message will let her know that all her friends are together, and no matter what you 2 are in the middle of doing, off she goes. (sometimes)

Facebook and MySpace is rediculous. They are hookup websites also.

I can't stop checking her MySpace, I keep typing in her URL while I'm here at work. I also read her xanga which after reading it today I really think she might of cheated on me while we were together.

The thing about this relationship is that the way it ended has never made sense to me. I obsess over things until I come to an understanding. If I saw "in a relationship" on her MySpace I'd feel 10x better, because at least I'd know that now it's time to quit. I mean after all, I really don't want her back after someone else s pen15 has been in her.

I fell in love. And it sucks. I avoided commitment my whole life and then bam... girl comes out of nowhere when I was 19 and I fall, hard. I think I'm going to visit her at work...and try one last time...to talk this over...

It's already time to quit. Your 20, you will get over it. You are both at the beginning stages of adulthood. Around 18-22 most girls go through somewhat of a slut/party phase because it's generally the first time in their lives in which they are not scorned upon by society for being sexually active. That and they need to show themselves and everyone else just how independent they are.

Your ex is at the beginning of this, and don't expect it to end anytime soon. So no point in obsessing over the past, unless you enjoy making yourself miserable.

 

[decades]

Bad thing about this girl (besides her laziness) is she has a lot of male friends, is very gullible and oblivous to the fact that male friends are guys that want to bang the ever loving **** out of you. I think she is thriving off the male attention, replacing me with...all her male friends (some of them are gay)

which I saw as a red flag early in the relationship, but I was able to steer her in a more normal direction and she stopped hanging out with a lot of them.

your thoughts?

next time never get in a relationship with a chick who has MOSTLY male friends, or worshipers. Your gut said something was off and IT was right. Follow your gut Always.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Well thanks the last 2 posts have been helpful. I guess it's hard for me to understand because I already went though my "have to go out every night" phase and she is just doing it now. Don't get me wrong, I still have fun, but I have more things to worry about these days "school, work, etc"

Thanks. Lots of male friends = bad. Girl seeks to much male attention. So many things I can complain about...I guess I'm just pissed I fell for her.

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah you guys that want relationships and ones that will last need to avoid chicks with a large abundance of guy friends.

Hint: The guys are not friends but AFC orbiters and potential fvck buddies or replacement boyfriends for you. Stay away from chicks that have this kind of setup for themselves. It doesn't matter what their excuse for it is because a chick primarily having guy friends does not benefit you in any way shape or form. Common excuses include: "Well I just don't get along with other girls", "People have always said I acted more like a guy than a girl anyway", "Guys seem to understand me better" etc.

Stay away from chicks like this once again if you are a guy that wants a decent relationship.

On the other hand if you are a guy living Leykis 101 and opposed to relationships or marriage go ahead and make one of these chicks part of your rotation if you like. Chicks with guy friends and almost any type of chick in fact are no problem to guys who are just all about hooking up with zero emotional connection involved and zero chance of allowing a relationship to develop other than that of a fvck buddy scenario.

So if you are the relationship type one more time since a lot of guys just do not get it...

If you want a good relationship, find a good girl, find a girl who views life the same way you do, find a girl with the same values you have and stay the hell away from chicks who exhibit behaviors that you know would highly p!ss you off if you were in a relationship with them. Even if you find such a chick exciting and you want her stay the fvck away as it will not end well for you. You have to draw up a list in your mind of what goals and qualities a chick should have in your mind to be compatible and good for a relationship and go after that kind of girl. You can't get with a girl who you know would make for bad relationship material just because she excites you and then expect to change her bad qualities later. It doesn't work that way and you are setting yourself up for failure to try.

 

[guywhoneedshelp]

Thank you for your post.

I was living the Leykis 101 when I met her, but because I was able to pull her away from her male friends and live a successful relationship, I let it get serious. Now, what's crazy is we have broken up, but she has said she is going to call me to talk about it. She hasn't called (although she did text once and say "sorry I didn't call right when you got out of work, I was taking a nap. I'll call you later though because I need to take a shower") so I've been just giving her time. Then, when I read her xanga (diary, pretty lame) or view her MySpace I see that she is back to her old ways of thriving off male attention and yet not hooking up with any of them. (or so I think, I'm probably right though)

so she must be once again getting a thrill out of the teasing of all her male friends but I think she's actually oblivious to it. Maybe if I let her get this out of her system we can get back together, but as of now I'm just giving her some space. I'll visit her at work Thursday and that'll be my last attempt to fix this.