Just turned 25, slumping

[SamMalone]

I used to be depressed, no women, ect. I turned everything around 3 years ago. I had a hot girlfriend for 2 years, I have a high paying great job, quit drinking, got real muscular, ect.

Broke up with the girlfriend in August. Got with another girl immediely, but lost interest in her in October. I started going to bars and drinking again following the breakup in August.

Now, the problem is, when I go out, I get no attention at all from women. And when I approach, I usually get blown off or they show more interest in one of my friends.

That wouldnt be a big deal except.....I have no idea why. Before, I understand why I didn't attract girls (depressed, drank too much, crappy job). Now, there is no area that I feel is lacking in my life that I can try to immediatly improve. Not saying I'm a perfect guy, but I'm in better position than most out there I would say.

So what do I do? I know I should just enjoy life without women, but I DO enjoy life already and I don't have a girl to even text right now if I wanted to communicate with a girl. I just dont understand the problem now and that's whats frustrating. I'm not saying I even want a girlfriend, but just some interest from a girl or some flirting would be nice.

I thought I got interest from a little hottie a month ago. Went back to her place, went in for kiss.....and she didn't kiss back. I couldn't believe it.

Im real happy at work, but when my days off come around, I'm just bored. Then I go out with friends, who pick up girls and I look like a chump when I can't get anything week after week.

 

[loveshogun]

Hang in there.

You were out of the game for 2 years. You're rusty. The knowledge is there but the body isn't used to being in these situations anymore.

As for the drinking, I hope you're doing it to have a good time, and not because of the ex. Think about that. More importantly, if something's wrong, DO something about it.

 

[Iceberg]

To put it as simply as possible: I think you're being too hard on yourself. No one goes to bars, and clubs, and parties and bats 1000. You're getting back into the swing of things....it might take a few attempts before you get some success.

 

[SamMalone]

Nah, not drinking cause of the ex. When that was over it was actually a huge load off my back. Been a few nights where I've had too many but I realize it and its not gonna happen again.

As far as being too hard on myself, I know I'm not batting 1000, but I am batting 0. That's whats confusing. Even my ugly friends are talking to ok looking girls. It's just frustrating.

 

[Gangster Of Love]

To put it as simply as possible: I think you're being too hard on yourself. No one goes to bars, and clubs, and parties and bats 1000. You're getting back into the swing of things....it might take a few attempts before you get some success.

"Rack him" +1

OP, yes, right now, your experiences are what I would call "Spring Training", or "batting practice", you must get your swing back, in preparation for the season.

Specifically, just to offer some technical advice, I wouldn't "go for the kiss", meaning, it is not something I would do before she is ready. Your job, specially if you are at her place or she has come to yours, is to escalate and get her ready where she is at the point where she's eager for you to kiss her, that is if she hasn't jumped you already. If she's in an isolated place with you, she already wants things to happen as much as you do. You just need to execute properly. To keep the baseball analogy going, it eems like right now you are so eager and desperate, that you are chasing pitches outside of the strike zone. Other than that, I say get out there, and take your cuts, and you'll be in fighting shape in no time.

 

[SamMalone]

When you guys go out, do you have women showing interest in you? That's the most puzzling part to me. Even just walking around or at work or whatever. I can't even remember the last time a girl flirted with me. Went out tonight and just got more of the same.

 

[Masculinity]

Don't beat yourself up too much. You need to sharpen the saw and get out of rusty mode. Somehow, someway, being in a relationship makes you feel like you're never gonna spark interest in anyone else. Well, let me tell you that's a pile of b.s. Everyone knows girls at bars, clubs and pubs aren't very good quality except for a few exceptions (this is why you get to take them home and hook up the same night). You can meet girls/women who are the highest quality at grocery stores, electronic stores, coffee shops, book shops, and things like that.

Don't limit yourself by only frequenting the places that make you fall into your vice (alcohol). Just by meeting her at a different place, you're different yourself. Try it out, brother.

 

[Iceberg]

When you guys go out, do you have women showing interest in you? That's the most puzzling part to me. Even just walking around or at work or whatever. I can't even remember the last time a girl flirted with me. Went out tonight and just got more of the same.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Priority #1 should be: Have fun.

Everything else orbits around that. You can't go walking around bars or your office looking for womens' acknowledgment. Just go out, make your friends laugh, and have a blast. You can't control which women will be at the bar that night, or whether or not they'll be attracted to the vibe you're putting out. But you can control your attitude of, "I'm having fun no matter what."

Summary: gotta get rid of that negativity

 

[Someone Much cooler]

you have become a domesticated house cat, getting its milk brung to you in a silver platter. You were getting more girls before, you just werent paying attention or focused like you are now. Now you have to learn to hunt again. so learn to hunt again.

 

[runner83]

I can sense the desperation coming off you in waves through the computer screen.

Just imagine what girls can sense when you are out and approach them?

No easy answers, but to keep up the practice and the tide will turn once you bag one, many more will follow.

Consider going for something below your ideal standards (but still bangable) to "get your eye back in" and work up from there.

Also, there is a possibility that looks may be an issue if you aren't getting any attention.

A pic may be useful for review....

 

[SamMalone]

The thing is im not desperate. I'm not going to just take whatever looks at me. I'm more just annoyed because I don't know what the problem is. When I wasn't getting laid before it was for something I knew I had to improve on. Now I have no idea. I actually went to a strip club tonight and only got asked if I wanted a dance after my two friends did multiple times. It has to be a vibe I'm giving off but I'm not realizing it.

 

[nkh78h]

You were out of the game for 2 years. You're rusty. The knowledge is there but the body isn't used to being in these situations anymore.