"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Just turned 18

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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I can now: vote, buy ciggies in some states, not fvck high school students, open an online account with my bank, use paypal, get a sam's club card, tell my parents to fvck off (unless they wave a hundred dollar bill in my face), pay taxes, not have to use a fake ID to get into 18+ clubs, though I will anyway so I can drink, and get drafted.

Happy 7th of July, Flab. Welcome to adulthood.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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comic_relief

Master Don Juan
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Happy b-day you two.

Have fun and go get some college girls.

comic_relief
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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i can't, no money to leave town and go party

i'll get drunk in my room rofl
 

vagrant

Master Don Juan
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Go to school and finish quick. Or go to work and make a lot of cash. Better yet do both at the same time like I'm doing now at the age of 21. I don't got a car, cell phone, none of that. All because of a lot of bad decisions that I'm paying for now. I won't ruin your day. hehe so Enjoy. Happy Birth Day!~
 

kabatura

Don Juan
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Unless your parents have beat you for the past 18 years you should keep a good relationship with them. They are the sole reason you are on the planet.
 

Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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Like everyone, I have my personal issues. On the one hand, they come from my disposition, but on the other, a big part of it is the comfortble but relatively fvcked up childhood my parents gave me. I pretty much had to grow up too fast, I was in college by age 15.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Flabbergasped?

Master Don Juan
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Disposition? Didn't cry when my grandparent(s) died, i make little effort to be with friends and family, i alternate between inferiority and superiority complexes, depends on my age. Hate my culture, but can't assimilate into prototypical America because of racism, so I'm stuck in this middle ground where I don't connect with anyone (and consequently, Americans call me white-washed and my family says I don't know where I came from).

Divorce, poverty squashing all my interests (sports, martial arts, music, no money to support any of those things), lack of social life/jobs/transportation due to age, bullying in middle school due to age, general bad parenting (I have little respect for my parents, so they must have done something wrong).

They pushed me into the whole age thing. People will tell you it's nice to have a headstart, but it doesn't justify 12 years of misery. The age gap between me and my peers were such that I was too old to be pitied/looked after, but too young to fit in, so I just got shat on.

The good thing is, now that I'm an adult, I can make decisions for myself and find some passions, like music and dancing, probably the two things that have stopped me from becoming depressed.
 

Wiesman44

Master Don Juan
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Flabbergasped? said:
I pretty much had to grow up too fast, I was in college by age 15.
Wow, guess your kinda smart ! Thats very impressive
 

Smack

Senior Don Juan
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Flabbergasped? said:
I can now: vote, buy ciggies in some states, not fvck high school students, open an online account with my bank, use paypal, get a sam's club card, tell my parents to fvck off (unless they wave a hundred dollar bill in my face), pay taxes, not have to use a fake ID to get into 18+ clubs, though I will anyway so I can drink, and get drafted.

Happy 7th of July, Flab. Welcome to adulthood.
Here, we can do all the bolded since 16.
 

kabatura

Don Juan
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So what did you study in college? Are you still in or working or what?

If you leave your parents that isn't really a bad thing, that's part of growing up. But don't do it in a negative way where there's tension or anger.I don't know many people who really respected their parents when then were 18.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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