Hear me, now.
I came across Pook's 15 lessons last night, and read them with great delight. Most of that stuff I've figured out myself, but I'm also completey off on some points. Here's my situation:
I know I'm a great catch, and I know that being aware of that is a key point to being attractive. I'm a confident guy, I've got lots of interests and I try to live life to the fullest. I'm a student, and work as a bartender at the student house, where I work with LOTS of hot and cool chicks. I'm aware of the point about being patient, and, at the risk of sounding like a douche: being hard-to-get. Basically, I have the mojo, and girls are falling for me. So far, so good, eh. Here's my problem though:
Before the summer I realised I was falling for this girl. She's really pretty, and I felt we had a connection as we have a lot of fun together, and talk easily about most stuff. We had a lil' argument before the summer holidays, which was mostly her fault, but I sent her an SMS saying basically "forget about it, I'm sorry I got mad", because I still wanted to get to know her more. I didn't get a message back, so I thought "**** it, she's not worth it", and didn't think much about her or meet her again before after the holidays.
Then again, after the holiday we get along extremely well again, and I'm falling for her again. It takes me maybe a month to work up the courage to ask her out, and I get the old LTJB message, which I saw coming a long way. Even though I expected it, it hits me hard. I again think "**** it", but it usually takes me a long time to get over girls.
So life goes on, and we're good friends, and I just suppress my feelings, but there's still a little hope she might change her mind. Last weekend we're both pretty drunk, and we make out, after which she says "oh, I'm sorry, I forgot how you feel". Obviously it meant nothing to her, and I realised that straight away, which makes me prepared for the SMS I get the day after, again saying how unnecessary that was, and that she was so sorry. I tell her "forget about it, it doesn't matter", but it still hurts like hell.
Then the turning point comes: I realise that whenever there is a girl I like I become mr.niceguy, and get the LTJB. If I DON'T like them I've got no problem being attractive. I go on the net and read some stuff about how not to be the nice guy, and I see a link to Pook's 15 lessons. Here's where I realise that I'm putting this girl up on a fu**ing pedestal, making HER the master. So basically, I've figured out most of the DJ principles on my own, but I'm degrading myself into an AFC whenever I have feelings for a girl.
Realising this makes me feel so much better about this whole ordeal, because hey, what the hell am I acting up on? She's just one of the fishes in the sea, and it's HER loss that she only wants me as a friend. Knowing what I'm doing wrong is the first requirement for changing, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna show this girl that I don't give a ****, hehe, and she's gonna realise how lucky she was that I liked her.
The no.1 eye-opening advice I got from Pook was the point about TALKING to girls. They talk to each other, and by talking to them in the same way like that you become their friend before you can say AFC, and that's what's happening to me when I actually like the girl (I fall for girls very seldomly btw).
So, anyway, I just felt like posting this, cause reading Pook's excellent thread was a REAL eye-opener, and I'm so ready for change. I don't know if any of you care, but I had to post this, and it would be cool to get some input on my situation.
I came across Pook's 15 lessons last night, and read them with great delight. Most of that stuff I've figured out myself, but I'm also completey off on some points. Here's my situation:
I know I'm a great catch, and I know that being aware of that is a key point to being attractive. I'm a confident guy, I've got lots of interests and I try to live life to the fullest. I'm a student, and work as a bartender at the student house, where I work with LOTS of hot and cool chicks. I'm aware of the point about being patient, and, at the risk of sounding like a douche: being hard-to-get. Basically, I have the mojo, and girls are falling for me. So far, so good, eh. Here's my problem though:
Before the summer I realised I was falling for this girl. She's really pretty, and I felt we had a connection as we have a lot of fun together, and talk easily about most stuff. We had a lil' argument before the summer holidays, which was mostly her fault, but I sent her an SMS saying basically "forget about it, I'm sorry I got mad", because I still wanted to get to know her more. I didn't get a message back, so I thought "**** it, she's not worth it", and didn't think much about her or meet her again before after the holidays.
Then again, after the holiday we get along extremely well again, and I'm falling for her again. It takes me maybe a month to work up the courage to ask her out, and I get the old LTJB message, which I saw coming a long way. Even though I expected it, it hits me hard. I again think "**** it", but it usually takes me a long time to get over girls.
So life goes on, and we're good friends, and I just suppress my feelings, but there's still a little hope she might change her mind. Last weekend we're both pretty drunk, and we make out, after which she says "oh, I'm sorry, I forgot how you feel". Obviously it meant nothing to her, and I realised that straight away, which makes me prepared for the SMS I get the day after, again saying how unnecessary that was, and that she was so sorry. I tell her "forget about it, it doesn't matter", but it still hurts like hell.
Then the turning point comes: I realise that whenever there is a girl I like I become mr.niceguy, and get the LTJB. If I DON'T like them I've got no problem being attractive. I go on the net and read some stuff about how not to be the nice guy, and I see a link to Pook's 15 lessons. Here's where I realise that I'm putting this girl up on a fu**ing pedestal, making HER the master. So basically, I've figured out most of the DJ principles on my own, but I'm degrading myself into an AFC whenever I have feelings for a girl.
Realising this makes me feel so much better about this whole ordeal, because hey, what the hell am I acting up on? She's just one of the fishes in the sea, and it's HER loss that she only wants me as a friend. Knowing what I'm doing wrong is the first requirement for changing, and that's exactly what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna show this girl that I don't give a ****, hehe, and she's gonna realise how lucky she was that I liked her.
The no.1 eye-opening advice I got from Pook was the point about TALKING to girls. They talk to each other, and by talking to them in the same way like that you become their friend before you can say AFC, and that's what's happening to me when I actually like the girl (I fall for girls very seldomly btw).
So, anyway, I just felt like posting this, cause reading Pook's excellent thread was a REAL eye-opener, and I'm so ready for change. I don't know if any of you care, but I had to post this, and it would be cool to get some input on my situation.