"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Just Met Her at the Pool - Need Advice ASAP

Odisseo

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Hey Guys

Just met this European chick at the pool a couple hours ago. She is staying here one more week. She is 25 I'm almost 27. She is visiting her 38 year old brother who lives in the same complex. She also has another brother (age 26) who is also visiting with her.

We talked for a while and we agreed on me showing them around the city. I know she's interested in me from a variety of signs (pretty obvious).

After we exchanged numbers I told her I would take them out in the afternoon but when I got home I texted her that my boss wanted me to do some work from home so I couldn't take her and her brother out for the afternoon. I also said "I will take you out tonight" meaning just her but I don't think she caught that. She agreed but again I am not sure she understood I meant just her.

Mu qeustion is, do I just text her that I want just her to come out? How do I get her to ditch her brother? I think she wants to but at the same time I don't want her to feel like a slut and have to cancel on me just because she might fear her brothers are judging her.

How do I do this??
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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bigneil

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Did you even text her yet?

Here are the 10 stages of establishing romance:

0) She offers buying signals like eye contact and/or a smile. (Never approach otherwise).
1) She carries on a conversation with you. (Let her know your romantic interest immediately).
2) She gives you her number. (Try to text her on the spot in this case).
3) She replies to your first text. (A significant number of girls will not reply here - don't take it personally).
4) She initiates some element of conversation. (If she likes you she will end most texts with a "?").
5) She agrees to meet you out. (Establish a specific time and place, not just a date in theory).
6) She shows up (A significant number of girls will flake on the first date).

Until you get there, talking about her brother is moot. If you just met, let her bring him if she wants. If you can get along with him and ignore her, and she's attracted, that would be ideal.

7) She initiates touch (no kino until then).
8) She texts to thank you for the date, (or better yet, calls or mails hand-written letter).
9) She becomes part of your harem (girls who will reliably reply, forever).
 

Odisseo

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bigneil said:
Did you even text her yet?

Here are the stages:

0) She talks to you.
1) She gives you her number.
2) She replies to your first text.
3) She initiates some element of conversation.
4) She agrees to meet you out.

Until you get there, talking about her brother is moot. If you just met, let her bring him if she wants. If you can get along with him and ignore her, and she's attracted, that would be ideal.
No sorry maybe I didn't explain my self. We personally talked at the pool about going out int he afternoon about places to go. She brought up the fact that we should go together and she even proposed we exchange numbers (I was being laid back but agreed). We texted right after 30 minutes from saying bye at the pool (I initiated but she quickly replied) and that's when I said (I paraphrase here) "my boss wants me to do some work from home but I will take you out tonight" to which she replied "cool no problem we are lazy anyways" and she gave me the ok for tonight and then she kept going the conversation asking where her brother could watch the soccer game tomorrow morning at 9AM.

The problem is I don't think she understood that I meant just her and not her brother too for tonight. But how do I bring it up without chasing her away? I feear her so called "antislut defence mechanism" will kick in if I just text her "I meant just you".

I am considering calling a couple guy friends and making them tag along with the brother and her and I/ Basically sacrificing the night to continue to build rapport and then go for it tomorrow (she is here one more week and she is bored at the pool all morning like I am and she lives literally 50 steps away from my house)/
 

Odisseo

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Bump

I got a real good chance here guys, just gotta try to find a way to get her out and leave her brother without making her look like a ***** in front of her family.

Last night she texted me after no contact and asked me if I was "up for a drink with us" meaning her and her brother. I responded it was late and I was at a friend's house. Today she's in LA with her brother.

She's only here a few more days. Please help!
 

cordoncordon

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Don't force it.

Go out with her and her brother(s) tonight, show them a good time. Get her brothers approval. Then tomorrow or the next day, when you are hanging with her at the pool again, ask just her out alone.

Trust me, this is the way you want to go with this.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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VladPatton

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cordoncordon said:
Don't force it.

Go out with her and her brother(s) tonight, show them a good time. Get her brothers approval. Then tomorrow or the next day, when you are hanging with her at the pool again, ask just her out alone.

Trust me, this is the way you want to go with this.

Agreed, best way to go. Be cool with her bro's and you'll make good in her eyes. Next time, ask her to go solo. If it blows up, who cares, you'll never see her again. If it works you have a new long distance FB.
 
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