Just may have screwed it up with the right one

[jt4567]

Let's get this out of the way first. I can pick up ladies without any significant problem. I'm not saying I'm a master Don Juan, but I've had enough girls putting the moves on me to worry about being able to pick some up. It's situations like the one I'm about to tell you that I need some help with.
I was on a date with this girl that I have been making friends with for the last couple months, two weeks ago. This was our second time out together, the first being a double date with her sister and my buddy. We went up the canyon to have an adventure (the details of that are irrelevant), and there was definitely some kino going on (she was holding my hand, so forth). Things were going very well. If it hadn't been for what happened next, we probably would have had a really great end to the night.
So she climbed up on a small rock face (at my suggestion that we put something we had on top of it as I started to climb). She's a better climber than me, or at least found the one place on it that had good holds. about 2/3 the way up, she slipped down the face, and as much as I tried to catch her, she still broke her leg near the ankle. I carried her down the small hill to my car, put her in, and drove her down the canyon to the hospital in the city. Took her in to the hospital, and soon her sister showed up and after some preliminaries, they were gone inside. I felt way bad about this, but she didn't blame me for it. I visited her like I felt I should, but I felt a bit blocked out by her girlfriend from her hometown and less by her sister. She got out a couple days later, and I gave time for the dust to settle (as her mom flew in to take care of her for a week), just texting her for a couple days. Yesterday, at the suggestion of a girl I know, I took her a small teddy bear and stayed at her apartment with her sister, the friend, and a roommate to talk for a few minutes. She avoided eye contact, seemed irritable and I could tell that it was time for me to get out. So I said I was out, and put my hand out, and she left me hanging with a weird look on her face. Not having been dissed in a long time, I patted her knee and left. She's definitely showing that she's turned off to me right now, and I feel like I've screwed things up royally.
If you could only meet this girl. She's awesome. I don't know anyone as cool as her, and she still looked like an angel in the hospital with no makeup on and not having even showered.
I know it would probably be in my best interest to go date other girls and let her want me a bit, but what should I do in this situation? If it was any other situation, I could deal. But this is complicated, and I could use some good advice.

 

[squirrels]

First of all, were you climing without gear? Or did you mess up on belay? In the former case, if she fell and broke something, it's her own stupid fault. You can't expect to catch someone in free-fall.

However, if you screwed up on belay and she ended up breaking something, now is NOT the time to try to run game or worry about being dissed...this girl's opinion of your trust and responsibility is compromised in a BIG way. I wouldn't want to see your ass either...you should probably just apologize and forget the romantic angle entirely.

That all being said, the LAST thing you want to do is spend too much time with a girl when she's feeling bad. This is where a LOT of guys screw up...they think they can "make her feel better". But what comes to happen instead is that she comes to associate your presence with the bad feelings. In the early stages of dating, you want the time you spend with her to be FUN. THEN, once she establishes you as a fun influence, you can show up occasionally to bring those good feelings back when she's feeling a little down.

If you want to visit her, that's fine. Keep your visit short and sweet, try to stay in good spirits, make her laugh, and then check out. She's going to have a hard enough time walking with one leg WITHOUT you sticking your nose up her ass too.

 

[Noodles]

I assume you where bouldering? In which case she's a big girl - she knew the risk. If it was high enough for her to brake her ankle you should have been belaying. Since she didn't ask you to it's no ones fault.

Trying to catch her wasn't a great move, sport. You could have have been pulled off - meaning you'd possible landed on her, or you could have spun her so she landed on her head. But never mind - no major damage done.

Apart from that...I don't see any problems but the ones you're making in your head. She hasn't said there's a problem, right? So relax. Otherwise you'll start to sound like a women - over analysing everything. It sounds like you've decided to blame yourself for her mistake (and it was her mistake) and are making problems for yourself.

Until she tells you otherwise, act normal. Go out and have fun as normal.
If she's got an issue with you she'll either tell you - in which case you can talk about it, or she'll act stroppy - in which case you'll get bored of her and stop seeing her.

Job done.

 

[Iceberg]

If you could only meet this girl. She's awesome. I don't know anyone as cool as her, and she still looked like an angel in the hospital with no makeup on and not having even showered.
I know it would probably be in my best interest to go date other girls and let her want me a bit, but what should I do in this situation? If it was any other situation, I could deal. But this is complicated, and I could use some good advice.

If she were so awesome she wouldn't be mad at you for some freak accident or losing interest for some other unknown reason. God I hate when guys get all excited over some girl who has yet to add anything to the guy's life. Hot does NOT equate to "awesome". I don't care if she's rescuing orphans....if she's treating you in a way which confuses or devalues you, then she's NOT awesome.

I was on a date with this girl that I have been making friends with for the last couple months, two weeks ago. This was our second time out together, the first being a double date with her sister and my buddy.

Look, I'm not made of stone. I can appreciate the value of a double date. But on Date #2? Why? Okay, so you think this girl is your special little angel, and I'm sure you'll say, "it's not just about sex". But when you're on a double date, there's no opportunity for any kind of intimacy. Sex, or otherwise. You're climbing rocks. Sweaty and dirty. Two other people are there. You might as well have been hanging out with your brother.

Yesterday, at the suggestion of a girl I know, I took her a small teddy bear and stayed at her apartment with her sister,

Sounds like a suggestion from a girl. God they're so predictable. "Bring her a teddy bear." Who gives a f**k about teddy bears? You could have just called to check in, made her laugh for 15 minutes, and went on your way.

You thought that this teddy bear would show that you're "not like the others." No. Pretty much all the others would throw teddy bears and roses and chocolates at her. Which is why she's single, and not dating the others. Because they're boring saps.

So what can you do now? Back off a bit. She's not your girlfriend yet. She's not so "awesome." She's a girl. And the time you spend with her is supposed to be a reward for good treatment from her.

 

[Let's Get Real]

There is no right one. There are right ones and this comes when you're complete and you meet another that is complete.

The teddy bear was a bad move. Women always seem like they give advice for you to be an AFC. Don't listen to there advice unless you have a guy there to evaluate it first.

You're just infatuated with her because of her looks. She appears to be your answer to being good with women. If you can get her, it proves that you're not an AFC. Don't ever think that because if she ever leaves you'll be on the worse come down of your life.

 

[jt4567]

Right. Clarification. Let's just call it bouldering, even though it was just a fluke end to the date. And we were alone. It was maybe 10 feet up to the top of the little face. Not much. But that's highly irrelevant now.

As far as the girl goes, I think she's awesome for her personality that I perceived up until now. But yeah, she's a way good looking girl too.

I thought the teddy bear thing was a bad idea from the get go, but the female friend of mine kept on insisting, so I gave in, and did it even though I thought it was stupid. And branded myself an AFC. My response to most women who give me advice is that I listen to bro's advice first and foremost. A mistake I don't plan on reliving soon.

@ Let's_get_Real: yeah, you're probably right. I'm probably just infatuated with her, although it's got a bit more to do with her personality (although I will admit she has a rockin' body). You could say partially I want to prove to myself that I'm not an AFC, but I actually have interest in this girl, so that's why I'm asking for advice on how to take it from here on out.

Not aimed at anyone in general----
One of my pet peeves about dating: because of the "game" aspect, we set rules like "don't call until 3 days after, but within a week" blah blah blah. I could use some specific advice to my situation (appreciating everything you guys have said ^^^^^).

How can I overcome the AFC image I just burned into her mind? Can I? I figure that I should hold off asking for another date for a while, but how could I work it up to getting another chance?

 

[jt4567]

Right. Clarification. Let's just call it bouldering, even though it was just a fluke end to the date. And we were alone. It was maybe 10 feet up to the top of the little face. Not much. But that's highly irrelevant now.

As far as the girl goes, I think she's awesome for her personality that I perceived up until now. But yeah, she's a way good looking girl too.

I thought the teddy bear thing was a bad idea from the get go, but the female friend of mine kept on insisting, so I gave in, and did it even though I thought it was stupid. And branded myself an AFC. My response to most women who give me advice is that I listen to bro's advice first and foremost. A mistake I don't plan on reliving soon.

@ Let's_get_Real: yeah, you're probably right. I'm probably just infatuated with her, although it's got a bit more to do with her personality (although I will admit she has a rockin' body). You could say partially I want to prove to myself that I'm not an AFC, but I actually have interest in this girl, so that's why I'm asking for advice on how to take it from here on out.

Not aimed at anyone in general----
One of my pet peeves about dating: because of the "game" aspect, we set rules like "don't call until 3 days after, but within a week" blah blah blah. I could use some specific advice to my situation (appreciating everything you guys have said ^^^^^).

How can I overcome the AFC image I just burned into her mind? Can I? I figure that I should hold off asking for another date for a while, but how could I work it up to getting another chance?

 

[Chickfight]

Right. Clarification. Let's just call it bouldering, even though it was just a fluke end to the date. And we were alone. It was maybe 10 feet up to the top of the little face. Not much. But that's highly irrelevant now.

As far as the girl goes, I think she's awesome for her personality that I perceived up until now. But yeah, she's a way good looking girl too.

I thought the teddy bear thing was a bad idea from the get go, but the female friend of mine kept on insisting, so I gave in, and did it even though I thought it was stupid. And branded myself an AFC. My response to most women who give me advice is that I listen to bro's advice first and foremost. A mistake I don't plan on reliving soon.

@ Let's_get_Real: yeah, you're probably right. I'm probably just infatuated with her, although it's got a bit more to do with her personality (although I will admit she has a rockin' body). You could say partially I want to prove to myself that I'm not an AFC, but I actually have interest in this girl, so that's why I'm asking for advice on how to take it from here on out.

Not aimed at anyone in general----
One of my pet peeves about dating: because of the "game" aspect, we set rules like "don't call until 3 days after, but within a week" blah blah blah. I could use some specific advice to my situation (appreciating everything you guys have said ^^^^^).

How can I overcome the AFC image I just burned into her mind? Can I? I figure that I should hold off asking for another date for a while, but how could I work it up to getting another chance?

Her breaking her ankle was an unfortunate accident, but it was only partially your fault by suggesting she climb up (which is something I could see myself doing, but I would go first). Still an accident though.

Regardless, you apologized and she forgave you so it's all good now. There's no need to change your game up and act like an AFC. You're not her boyfriend or her husband. You don't need to be there to take care of her, it's not like she dying.

Anyway, it's too late to change what happened. What you should do now just give her some space (ie. no contact for a while), until she contacts you. If there's still any interest at all from her side, she will.

 

[Bible_Belt]

How can I overcome the AFC image I just burned into her mind?

You could go fvck a different girl and never think about this one again, other than the painful memories of learning how nice guys really do finish last.

If you could only meet this girl. She's awesome. I don't know anyone as cool as her

I hope that someday you can read that and laugh like a lot of people are laughing now, myself included. But I suspect that you must instead be the nice guy finishing last several more times before you begin to see the humor.