Just got LJBF - nexted obviously but...

[ErnestHenley]

Hey all, a new lurker has joined the forum here!
Just got LJBF from a HB the day before a dinner function we are going to together (with friends). I am naturally a flirt and tease with everyone although to her I ended up a bit sappy due to oneitis that crippled me. When we met to discuss things getting weird between us, I played it off that she made her intentions clear from the start and that she should know that I'm naturally a flirt and tease. Never professed nothing. I think she expected things to end a bit differently and it didn't so she seemed ill at ease or not sure how to proceed. I told her everythings cool between us and with that she is out of my life.

Yet I now have this dinner function to go to where I'm not sure how I should act around her. Alcohol involved, last time I almost took her home with me except that I was not interested due to pursuing another HB. I intend to simply remain pleasant while gaming every woman I see their that night. Is that how I should go about things?

It's funny, I took up to this site about a year ago and it's taken so long for me to even get to a point where I am starting to see the light. Heck, this latest set back has really got me thinking what is wrong with me and why do I let myself get into these situations. Anyone have good tips? I'm not a natural plate spinner. I follow the path of self improvement and that's about it for me. If I am honest again, I'm actually feeling bummed out. Anyone got anything inspirational or something to kick me up again? I've already got a night out planned and know to keep busy.

 

[MattTheW]

Hey all, a new lurker has joined the forum here!
Just got LJBF from a HB the day before a dinner function we are going to together (with friends). I am naturally a flirt and tease with everyone although to her I ended up a bit sappy due to oneitis that crippled me. When we met to discuss things getting weird between us, I played it off that she made her intentions clear from the start and that she should know that I'm naturally a flirt and tease. Never professed nothing. I think she expected things to end a bit differently and it didn't so she seemed ill at ease or not sure how to proceed. I told her everythings cool between us and with that she is out of my life.

As soon as she LJBF'd you - you make the decision, accept or decline
The decline should be - I don't want another friend, either we're more than friends or nothing - no inbetween
The accept is - ok, we're friends.......nothing more

Yet I now have this dinner function to go to where I'm not sure how I should act around her. Alcohol involved, last time I almost took her home with me except that I was not interested due to pursuing another HB. I intend to simply remain pleasant while gaming every woman I see their that night. Is that how I should go about things?

DO exactly as you plan, afterall, your "just friends" now, game all the women you want, but not her......

She wants a friend - then that's what you give her, but don't waste good gaming time with your "new friend" (but don't be an arse either)

 

[Ghostface]

I'm not sure how I should act around her./QUOTE]

This is the crux of your problem. Just be confident, u dont need some full proof plan on how to act around her, this is placing her on a pedestal and setting u up for failure.

Aditionally, she may still be attracted to you. If u nearly took her home, then she probably has high interest in u, and when u didnt take her home, her hamster kicked in and she concluded that u 2 were just "friends."

If her interest is high then send her a text that was "meant for someone else" and go from their. On the other hand, if her interest was low, or u think being with her will cause a oneitis relapse then NEXT.

Lastly, don't worry about feeling down. Everyone's emotions fluctuate, just don't let your emotions rule u. If u feel down, workout even harder, game even more girls, kick it up a notch.

 

[Cremasta]

You're a free agent, do whatever you want and hit on as many women at the function as you like.

Do not drive her to the function, tell her you'll meet her there. You don't want to be stuck with taxi obligations at the end of the night... there's a fair chance you'll pick up.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

If you wanna get her hamster going:

1) Halve the attention you give her, both in quantity and quality (and by quality, I mean 'friends-only' non-flirtatious).

2) Flirt outrageously with others and be seen to be having a great laugh in her presence.

3) Cut e-communication down to almost zero; taking in to account the 1:3 rule, sometimes not even responding.

If you ever had any chance to be more than friends, you should see results within weeks.

Also, you should have other options. If you haven't, find some.

 

[VladPatton]

You act like nothing happened. I agree with not driving her there, let her meet you there, if you tell her at all. I'd just go. She doesn't need waypoint updates as to where you are. Treat her like a 350 pounder with zits and a broken devil horn, but be courteous. Talk to other chicks and have yourself a crackin time. You owe her nothing.

 

[ErnestHenley]

Thanks guys, thank god for this site as I do not know what the 2 year ago me would be like, nor how he would have taken things. A good night out has helped alleviate the symptoms and I've woken up with a renewed drive to achieve my goals. Learning this time, I'm not going to cut woman out as I focus on myself but learn to continue to grow.

Hopefully I can contribute to this forum as I become more experienced. Heres to getting a lay report by tonight!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

When we met to discuss things getting weird between us...

Why was this even a thing that happened? Were you the one that was like "Hey, we need to discuss how weird things have gotten between us?" These kinds of discussions definitely do NOT help a woman gain interest in you...

 

[asa_don]

I follow the path of self improvement and that's about it for me.

you improved? :crackup:

When we met to discuss things getting weird between us

look man, if this chick liked you things wouldn't get weird between you two when you're flirting with her, things would escalate to sex, she saw you as nothing more than a friend from the get go, things turned weird when you were flirting, girls get weirded out when their friends starts turning up the heat like you did, she was never interested sexually in you.

I played it off that she made her intentions clear from the start and that she should know that I'm naturally a flirt and tease.

this is why you haven't improved

what the hell do you expect? she told you from the get go she wasn't interested, you were flirting with her, playing it off, that's your fault for being ignorant.

Yet I now have this dinner function to go to where I'm not sure how I should act around her. Alcohol involved, last time I almost took her home with me except that I was not interested due to pursuing another HB. I intend to simply remain pleasant while gaming every woman I see their that night. Is that how I should go about things?

who cares if she is there, have fun doing what you do, don't go gaming for the sake of gaming if your game isn't on, you won't get anywhere that way with an insecure attitude over a chick who never liked you.

have fun, have a good time, that's what you should be doing.

 

[ErnestHenley]

you improved? :crackup:



look man, if this chick liked you things wouldn't get weird between you two when you're flirting with her, things would escalate to sex, she saw you as nothing more than a friend from the get go, things turned weird when you were flirting, girls get weirded out when their friends starts turning up the heat like you did, she was never interested sexually in you.



this is why you haven't improved

what the hell do you expect? she told you from the get go she wasn't interested, you were flirting with her, playing it off, that's your fault for being ignorant.



who cares if she is there, have fun doing what you do, don't go gaming for the sake of gaming if your game isn't on, you won't get anywhere that way with an insecure attitude over a chick who never liked you.

have fun, have a good time, that's what you should be doing.

Yep, and I'll cop that and own up to it man so cheers for the critical analysis. Trust me, I've come a very far way to what I was before. No, I'm keen to have a good night hence my wording may have come across as insecure. I'm unfortunately far from it and my ego gets the best of me at times I know that. Add that to the validation seeking and you have a horrible mix of thinking there was a chase to begin with. But not anymore. I hope this will be the last of posts by me on the likes of situations like this ever happening again!